Getting my ex back

This may seem odd but its been just coming up to 4 years that i have been apart from my ex of 3 and a half years and i've always wanted her to come back, she got married and is currently going through a divorce because well i was right all along about the guy and he cheated on her, she deserves much better, how do you think i could possibly get her back? btw she never cheated on me to end the relationship she had told me a few months before the break up that she was going to go out with someone who asked her and she had interest in because she had been homeschooled and i was her only serious b/f at the time and she wanted to know if i was "the one" for her, seems kinda difficult to get back with someone after 4 years of being apart.....any suggestions?

 

Man, you and I are in the same boat. (Except I'm the one that went off and got married...and divorced in less than a year.) I know now that she's the one for me.

Have you tried emailing or calling your ex?

 

Keep recycling to cans and bottles.

 

yup many times, thats why i know shes going through a divorce, she emailed me in november and said that to me, havent heard from her since

 

maybe you could call one of her friends to see what's happening.

 

unfortunately when we were together this may sound mean but its true, she only talked to people online and didnt have anyone but her family and i dont know how to get in contact with them anymore, i use to when we were going out but nope not anymore, she said she was moving back with her parents until she got the divorce finalized.....i could phone her place, but i have a feeling her parents dont like my family so theres some tension there for me

 

What do you have better going on in your life? i've loved her for 7 almost 8 years dipwad.....its hard to let go regardless of how high and mighty you might think you are

 

much of it I have experienced. I've been married to someone else...involved in a couple other relationships...but never have I found that same special connection.

Let's see,Jester, you were about 6 when she and I were first involved. I bet you've done a lot of maturing since then... I know I have and I am able to see mistakes I made. I wasn't ready then. Now that I'm getting closer to 40, I am ready to settle down. I tried it with the wrong woman (don't want to make that mistake again...she was sweet but we just didn't have the mind thing going).

 

she moved on a long time ago, you need to do the same. Get a grip and get on with your life. If she comes back to you now, it will only be a rebound relationship for her, and nothing that will last the test of time.

 

i've tried that to be honest, hasnt worked

 

I wrote this awhile back from my own experiences. I try and follow it myself but like everyone else on here I'm still learning and growing.
I just took a chance on a new relationship and was so wrong about who I THOUGHT that person was. Who she was and what she claimed she was all about ended up as two different people.
But I think every relationship we do walk away with some good things aside from our heart being broken again.
I don't judge the success of a relationship by the length of it anymore and I just take any of the emotions now and pump it into my Art.
Also-I think the more we do get our hearts broken the more they can also open. This is long but well worth the read.
Peace The Wiz

Soul Mates?
Humanity as a race is going through a major transition at this time. This results in changes both physical, emotional and spiritual.

Often when we are making these changes, we attract someone to help us through this phase of our experience here. This person the Transition Person.

Usually this person does not remain in our lives, or live up to fantasies we may have created about them, but they do serve a purpose in helping us move on and into a new space.

The Transition Person can be a friend, lover, or both.

Here is an example...You are in a bad marriage or relationship. You know you need to move on, but as with most people you don't want to move forward until someone new has come into your life. Many people hate living alone. [Remember that in most separations - one partner has found someone new while the other is mortally wounded!]

Enter the Transition Person. That person is someone you have attracted to help you move on. Now comes the sticky part...Often you think you have attracted that person as your life long soul mate. Wrong! Usually that is not the case. That person lives out whatever karma they have to help you move on...then moves out of your life. Your soul is confused. But you have to understand their role in your life and accept it - allowing time for your soul to heal from the issues of both relationships.

Always keep this in mind when dealing with any relationship - either both of you want the relationship - or you don't! That's it. If one of you is ambivalent - it will end. Don't push the energies.

If you are waiting for the Transition Person to return - Give it up!! If that person was supposed to be in your life they would be there! That's it! No excuses today! Look at your relationship!

You and your partner or ex-partner are either on the 'same page' or you are not!

The Transition Person can also be there to help you when you relocate as your soul tells you a move is needed. Most people move to places where they know other people, if moving alone. The Transition Person can be that person, but may move out of your life after helping you relocate. The karma is over. You are on your own. That is what this game is about anyway!

We all attract Transition People at one time or another. They just seem to show up in our lives as if by synchronicity. With this person - watch your heart and do not fall in love easily. Most likely you will get hurt.

In Metaphysics the Transition Person is the one who helps you 'wake up' to the greater reality of the universe - and to healing whatever issues you have been dealing with. This too is a person you can get very friendly with...but beware ...do not fall in love as now you are dealing not just be 3D stuff but with spiritual as well. Falling in love with a metaphysical partner then loosing them, can be the most destructive of all especially as you are building a new YOU. You can become way to co-depending on Transitional People at that time - as healers, teachers, authors, etc. I have learned how quickly people in this field become lovers - which has also been my own experience. We meet - begin a transition - spend time together - quickly feel we are in love. As metaphysics is an ongoing journey into awareness - one partner soon moves on. Metaphysical people are free spirits who experience many people, places, and things.As humans we are not created to be monogamous. That is a social condition - but there are variations on all themes - as karmic bonds can create long relationships.

If you are ready to make change in your life...look for the Transition Person you will now bring in for you to experience with. They can be fun. You really can enjoy the time if you don't allow yourself to get too co-dependent on them and allow them to move on when one or both of you are ready.

Honor what you and the Transition Person have shared, then move on.

It is almost Fall - a time of transition and

graduation to things that will help your soul grow.

Your Transition Person may be about to knock on your door.

Please be there to open it, and don't be afraid.


Go with the flow....of creation....your creation! Trust it!



THE INTERIM LOVER



You wish to end a bad relationship with a spouse / lover. You have put up with all sorts of abuse and unhappiness but have stayed with that person because: you were afraid to be alone
felt comfortable enough to stick it out
couldn't imagine --or feel worthy of--a good partner
financial or family obligations
kept saying you would leave but didn't have the guts to do it!
You were waiting for another person to come along first.

Enter the Interim Lover! You sense the karma between you the moment you meet and a strong attraction. They have everything your partner lacks and most of all understands you - you are on the same frequency.

The connection is strong. You think about this person constantly - and they feel the connection - as if you tune into each other's thoughts. You see soul connection! You connect with each other's thoughts and energies.

Sometimes this can become an obsessive pattern.

You call, email, make plans, laugh, share your lives, have great sex!

You finally leave your first relationship as it no longer works for a 'happily ever after' with the new partner. With all of the "perfect ingredients" you think nothing but blissful thoughts. You never stop to think that the universe has brought this person into your life just to help you get away from the first partner.

Suddenly the "bubble is burst"! The fantasy stops. Reality Check.

Obsession - High maintenance as you try everything you can to get the energies back to where they were. Perhaps the partner disappoints you and decides to move in another direction. Perhaps the partner said they would leave their partner for you - then decides that they cannot leave or once they have left - being alone and free is more suited to their needs than being with you.

You are crushed! You question what went wrong and why. You must now come to an understanding as to why that person came into your life in the first place - how they helped you grow, experience, and move forward - and that no one is here to bring you the happiness you must find for yourself on your 3D journey into awareness.

You must now seek your personal power and continue the journey that was given to you when you first attracted the Interim Lover. How have you grown from the experience? Are you upset because you did not get what you want or expected? How long did you really feel the Interim Lover could maintain this experience while dealing with their own issues? Can you get past the anger? Doesn't everybody after a period of time?

After a bad relationship ends you must find out who you have become and what you have learned. You are not the same person you were when you first started the initial relationship. You have grown in both relationships and reality now takes on a new frequency for you.

If you feel you need professional help from a therapist -seek this out. Spiritual counselors can also give guidance - as can a good psychic reading. Friends and family may help - if you are willing to listen.

You wonder about the fantasy about eternal love and romance and whether it will ever find you.

You may feel alone and depressed. This is better than giving your personal power away.

Please do not return to your original partner in desperation or out of fear of being alone. Being alone is a time of growth. You do not have to feel lonely. This is your journey - use it wisely.

 

Do people forget why someone is an ex?

As for dating someone else to make sure you are "the one" ummmm....I would have to say that since she married someone else you have the answer. What makes you think that you are "the one" now when you weren't 4 years ago? That is a serious question....what has changed in her life so much that you are now the person she wants to be with?

Personally I would not want someone back that had to date other people to verify my place in their life. That is my opinion.....but if you feel like this is something that you have to do, then do it. The only person that knows is you, the rest of us just have opinions based on what you write. This is one of those questions that will get negative responses because most of us have tried to date an ex and it was a bad idea....but if you think it will work more power to ya!

 

Well said and so true.
Recycle cans and stuff not people.

 

Used to think that my ex was excellent & exciting but he got a little extreme...so he will stay an ex.
A few times after I divorced him we got back together, but it never works out....yeah the kids had 2 parents in the same house, but mabe the family is just more dysfunctional with us under the same roof then when we are in different states.

 

A little extreme sounds like bad shit.
Glad your healing. Peace

 

Well said and i realize that you're probably right, but its easier said than done moving on from your first love thats all also considering any pain i had gone through in the last 7 years she was there for me even in the last 4 years when i've contacted her she was there for me and now more than ever i may need her cause i could have something fatal in my foot, at least thats the impression my doctors have given me without saying too much before they are 100% sure so my attitude about getting my ex back has intensivified in the last 48 hours or so, shes been there in some of my hard times and i'm positive she'd be there for me now, if its not fatal though i'd like the situation to bring us closer together...but i'm not sure how she feels about me really anymore...i dunno thats just my thoughts for the morning lol its 4:23 and i'm on little sleep cause i've been worried about a lot of things tonight.....

 

Well as an update i'm fine but scares like that really put things into perspective and i dont hthink i was overreacting at all and still want more than ever to be with my ex....but i emailed her again about my situation and if she doesnt get back to me shes obviously not wanting to help me through the times i thought she was so thats her choice

 

Do you really want someone who is only there for you because they feel sorry that your foot is dying? The way I see it is you are obsessing over this person and you have not yet even attempted to move on in a healthy way. Do what you want to try to get this person "back", but first of all, you never really had them to begin with, and second of all, I can only see this ending badly.

 

You haven't heard fromh her in about 10 months, I think tha'ts a sign, if shewasinterested in you she would have gotten back to you a longtime ago...

 

Funny thing you say that because as i was going out today, she sent me a reply to the email i sent her just 3 days ago, my usual emails are just rambling about my life blah blah blah.....its almost as if she knows she wont reply to them right away but in this email she explained why that was...

Hey Jordy, long time no talkie. I have been very busy as well. Thank you for the b-day present that was very sweet.. My life has also been hetic and just crazy crazy. as you know I left Kurt overa year ago now. we are divorced, he thought for guys made better lovers than girls I guess. Well that and he thought he had to prove how strong he was by testing it on me... Anyways I moved back home to indiana last november, but i decided o come back out to colorado this april. One of my best friends we are as close as you and I were . His name is david, he's my savior. He was my bestfriend for about 2 years. never would have thought more about it. but he got me through ALOT of hard times with kurt and my family.. He's like you in a lot of ways in the fact that he's just like me.. I can't say i regret anything that has happened to me or the decisons i have made. being with kurt and then having to leave has been the best experience i could have asked for. i t made me realize i don't HAVE to have anybody. I do better on my own . But you know me,i love to have that companion, that person that you come home to, that one who's there to listen to your good news everyday and your bitching.. And like I said David has been that now for about 11 months. He's been a great blessing in my life. He treats me like princess, I've never been treated so good, i didn't know feeling this happy and this good even existed. I also have grown up alot. Life is the best teaching tool there is... I am glad to hear your doing well. But at the same time sorry to hear your going through alot of hard times. I wish i was there to comfort you some. I know it must be hard not knowing exactly what kind of infection it is, and wondering is the worst thing you can do, your imagination will run wild if you let it But so far every thing with me is going great. I had a mazda rx8. the best looking car ever but the worst running! after the divorce i got rid of it and got Brand new 2006 nissan Xtrera bright yellow/. i looooooooove it. i go 4 wheeling and take it up tp the mountains andstuff. itrs a great car.well SUV.. I I still have my babies. Ecko is now over a year and we just got Dino. (I'm adding this these are cats or bearded dragons i forget which and i'll add more later they are not children she is not a mother) He's a cutie little baby i will send you some pictures. I also had a great B-day. David took me to a mountain resort for 2 days and just spoiled the shit out of me.. I Lovvve sports bikes and david is giving me his once he gets a new one. So he bought me a new helmet. i love it and the whle king of queens series. we had a great time. it was the best B-day ever...Also i am still working at Sam's club but only part time now. David and I opened up a Hookah lounge. its the Bomb! we have been open a monmth and already are slamed ever night. so hopefully next year i'll be rich hahaha.. well thats about it new in my life. i hope to hear from you soon. I wish you the best! Luv ya\

Love always Nomie


I've highlighted alot of the important parts or that i thought were important......does it sound like she wants me to possibly visit her in your guys opinion? I had no idea about her ex husband.....he was more messed up than i ever thought...and he's safer in iraq if thats where he still is...he better not even come close to trying to find me after what i just read...i was afraid he may try and hurt her if she tried leaving him

I dont know about the hooka lounge part.......sounds odd if you ask me, she seems like part owner that gets drunk all the time every night? or the other assumption is well...i dont wanna even think what the other clear assumption would be...just hope thats not the case...do people think this email sounds genuinely hearted? i havent responded quite yet to her email as i only got it about 4 hours ago but plan to as soon as i know what i'm going to say....this is alot to take in for me...well let me know what you guys think and btw Nomie is her nickname
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