My poet lover-person and I have come to an understanding -- we want space, and all that kind of thing, and then we might try again as "just friends." But meanwhile, I have all these warm cuddly feelings ... a wanderlust ... and know that spending time all alone will slowly drive me crazy. I have had ideas about hooking up with a fuck-buddy from old days and taking a road trip ... then coming back here with all that love and tenderness shit out of my system. Barring that, I will find another casual lover, and go from there. Do you think it is a good idea to "get it out of my system" this way, as long as the other party is just looking for a little no-strings fun and is up for it?
my advice would be please yourself for a little while until you know you are over your friend, but thats just me, sometimes we say we are through with someone but our feelings go deeper than we want to admit to ourselves, and I ruined a perfectly salvageable relationship BECAUSE I did what you are speaking of, and I was honest and told her about it.. BIG mistake for me... good luck... hope this advice helps...
As long as the other person involved knows you aren't looking for anything serious, I see nothing wrong with it.
Thank you ... I have convinced myself after only a day that I am over it -- I still have this crazy desire to talk to him, and in fact tried it over AOL, but he will not reciprocate and therefore I feel quite well. (Once someone refuses to talk to me, it is pretty much closure.) But yet of course I fear that I am not totally "over it" ... more than likely I am not. (I cannot even bring myself to go to the grocery store, because it is in his neighborhood.) If I saw him again, even and especially by random chance, I fear that it would all come back (if only for a little while, until I could convince myself to forget it). As far as salvaging our relationship ... I doubt it. We are barely friends at this point and he does not want me as a lover anymore, so there is no point in him speaking to me again -- and I accept that. We had a long discussion last night in which he said some bullshit about only wanting a few weeks away, but (partially because he is compulsively unreliable) I do not buy that. Even if he does decide to "be more casually involved" with me in a few weeks or months, I don't think I want that, for the simple reason that I do not want to galvanize myself only to be ripped open again so soon. I have a lot of bitter regrets and a lot of sweet memories. But hopefully I am becoming hardened to them, and by the time he next contacts me I will be completely immune.
