Get that job-NOW!

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by scratcho, Feb 12, 2009.

  1. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Interview no-nos

    1.Don't piss in a potted plant if the interviewer leaves the room.May not be gone as long as is necessary.
    2.Don't repeat the questions.(Int:where was your last job?YOU:Where was YOUR last job?)
    3.Don't wiggle your eyebrows after you answer each question.
    4.Don't enter the interview room flapping your arms running bent over going"buck-buck-buck-buck.
    5.Don't wear your underpants on the outside of your clothing.
    6.If your interviewer is a woman,don't stare at her boobs for longer than a minute at a time while you answer her questions.
    7.It is advisable not to answer "FUCKANAY!"when asked if you plan on making a career there.
    8.If you MUST pass gas,say "excuse me" go to the farthest corner of the room,face the wall and let 'er rip.You may not believe me,but you won't be heard.
    9.Don't paint "eyeballs"on your eyelids in case you doze off when being questioned.They may notice.
    !0.If you are a female,don't wear a bra.Then every once in a while as the interview progresses--jerk your shirt up and down as quickly as possible---I mean REALLY,REALLY fast exposing your breasts for just a nano second.He,of course won't know what he has seen.This is called subliminal advertising.The interviewer won't know what hit him.You'll get the job.

    [​IMG]
    Anyone else come up with any?????
     
  2. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    i tend to get nervous before job interviews, so i typically calm myself down beforehand with a fifth of vodka and a couple xanybars.

    unfortunately, that has led to me breaking rule number one on your list...
     
  3. jerry420

    jerry420 Doctor of everything Lifetime Supporter

    ive been holding a seasonal job for 11 years now...i do alright...especially as of last year when i got promoted...
     
  4. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    C'mon Jerry--give me somethin'.
     
  5. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    he did, aren't you paying attention?

    clearly, you are supposed to go into the interview and say "i'm only available 6 months out of the year."
     
  6. Mr. Mojo Risin'

    Mr. Mojo Risin' Senior Member

  7. jerry420

    jerry420 Doctor of everything Lifetime Supporter

    actually...DICKHEAD!

    the snow is my bread and butter being as that job is at a local ski mountain...but being as ive had my fill of that medusian visage that is known as "fuck me sideways! Its so cold and desolate; I could hang myself!!!!" im inclined to leave town as soon as i can...and as we say in NY...go fuck your mother...
     
  8. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Oh yeah--I see what you mean.C'mon,let's have some more do's and don't..
     
  9. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    goodness... :eek:

    i'm honestly not sure if that was sarcasm or if i just got told off for making a joke in a joke thread...

    either way, i like. :cheers2:
     
  10. jerry420

    jerry420 Doctor of everything Lifetime Supporter

    nope, im pretty sure i told you to go fuck your mom;)
     
  11. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    We should leave your mom clear out of this.
     
  12. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    i'll have to try this in my next job interview.
     
  13. bluesafire

    bluesafire Senior Member

    you could ask them how they're qualified to be your employer..
     
  14. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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