How closely do you associate the concepts of intimacy and sex? If you make a difference what is it that keeps them separate? Is emotion an illusion/ delusion? If someone is triggering certain emotions in you by your interpretation of their gestures? (Basically being conned emotionally) what does that say about how we as humans react to perception vs. reality when it comes to emotions? Does that mean love and intimacy is a lie and that all there really is the actions we associate intimacy with?
I don't think emotion is an illusion or delusion, but I think we can be emotionally delusional. Why/when that happens, it can definitely be related to intimacy or sex and deception or assumptions/expectations gone wrong. I see intimacy and sex as two very different things. I think of intimacy as having a basis in the emotional. The emotional intimacy to be able to share space and share words(and the emotions that go along with them) in an unguarded fashion is what I think of when I think of intimacy. Sex can be a part of that intimate connection, but so can tons of other things. I think that you can't rely on gestures or assumptions to influence your emotions. I look for real words to be spoken and honesty and trust to be established before I find myself feeling any emotional intimacy towards a person, sex comes way later...or not at all. I also think you can have intimacy with people outside the concept of romantic relationships.
Intimacy is a mind thing. sex is about body parts. Probably you can't have real intimacy without some aspect of physical attraction, but you certainly can have rip-roaring sex without a hint of intimacy.
Love and intimacy are very real to me! Sex and intimacy do not have to go together, but for me in my experiences sex with intimacy is way better then without. In fact it is not even close.
Eeek! I couldnt do one without the other. If I am not attracted intimately already my pants wont come off and thats not saying I have to go after looks. Most of my men have been maybe average looking to others I would say. Many of them on the roughed out looking side of looks but thats what I like. A big grumpy looking teddy bear with a big heart. Most of them are the best lovers IMO. Its the ones that look like they came out of a magazine that I find hard to love because I would be afraid they are too full of themselves. My BF looks rough and rugged around the edges but under his big moustache I can make him smile and he admits being with me makes him smile. I love it when he gives me the stink eye about something I say or do. I tell him to shut the fuck up before he opens his mouth and he laughs.
