Gender equality

I am writing a 12 page paper for my sociology class that covers many issues, mostly about symbolic interactionism. But my last two pages deal with gender inequaility and is where I insert a lot of my opinions. here are the last two pages, tell me what you think folks. It is me looking at gender inequality through the eyes is a SI. Its a work in progress and help would be appreciated:



Society is constantly being recreated through person to person interactions and

negations of meanings. Through interactions with others, we create new values, morals and

ethics. When we meet someone new, we alter our own perception so it either fits in with that persons ideas

or change our ideas so that they refute that persons. While social interactions are formed by a persons

unique perceptions, beliefs and attitudes, they can always be shaped and are constantly being

evaluated by that person. Change is always possible and if someone doesn’t like societies current

state, you can work hard to change it by speaking to the masses in a way they will understand. If

a female with a loud enough voice makes enough noise and is in the right position, she can

change the social equality today. It will likely be a female in a minority position however. Many

of the most powerful positions are taken by males. But those few women in the government,

business, management and leadership positions have the resources to make their voices heard to

the masses, but again, are in the minority.

Examples of even one person making a difference can be seen in the classrooms across

the nation. One teacher imparts their wisdom onto classes with 10 or 20 or more kids. In

universities, that number can reach the hundreds. Women are already making a difference in

many of these classrooms across the world. May their objectives combine into one common goal

among the many woman teachers? That goal being to add gender equality issues into their

curriculum. To teach kids to treat each gender the same and work towards equality. This may

hold true too, considering most females teachers are in the lower grades and will get many of

Americas young, impressionable children. By the time boys and girls reach high school and

especially college, they will be armed with the idea to treat each gender equally. It will be a slow

process at first, like all major social changes are, but ideas spread rather quickly and within a

generation, we may see smaller gaps between genders in almost every respect. More women

will hold management and government positions that were once dominated by men because

of teachers placing an emphasis on gender equality at a young age.

In our generation alone we are learning a lot about what females are capable of. Females

are winning presidential elections in third world countries, dunking basketballs in college and

redefining women’s health care. Judging by these select few physical and mental

accomplishments, women are capable of even more. The overall confidence of the female

population will increase as younger girls start to see what their older counterparts are capable of.

It will be a social norm for females to achieve just as much as males because of this. When

older women are on display front and center, younger girls will see this and strive towards

similar goals. Also, the advancement in equality for women will lead many women to want to

be the first of "something" in any given field. So we may see the first woman president within

the next half century.

The gap between genders is a shortening gap and one that is accelerating. Just to think,

60 years ago, most American females were housewives or secretaries. Most women didn’t have

much to aspire to. But as roles have been changing, the possibilities have expanded as well.

So fast in fact, that it’s hard to see when the vast amount of women left their house tending

behind and entered the workforce in great numbers (or maybe I’m to young). But the time

in which this happened was evident after the hundreds of years of holding the same general

roles. Maybe females such as Rosa Parks are to be commended for their bold behaviors.

Standing up for herself made national headlines and empowered many woman to do the same.

That general feeling of empowerment may be at the route of such amazing advancements as

of late.

 

YOu like to do that dont you mike...think of yoruself as a woman and play the victem then as you are the victem play a man roll and dogg on women your so weird

 

get some books by bell hooks and stephen steinberg the ethnic myth is a good one the thoughts they provkes can help you right a great ppaper for soc

 

oh wow YES excellent advice. bell hooks is amazing.

 

so what do you guys think of my writing? lacking anything?

thanks for the suggestions though!

 

so are you proposing that women's rights are first taught to gradeschool kids? cause that's awesome. equal coverage. the plight of the lowell mill worker in history class, not just the name of the towns governer for example. or are you talking about making womens/gender studies a core class?

if it's the first, i think it needs to go beyond just equal coverage at this point.
what about everyone whose past that age? if the kids are being taught one thing in school, but their parents are like, "bah that's crap, go help your mom in the kitchen," then it might not be as affective. or if girls are told in sex ed that they dont have to be skinny, blonde, and plastic to be worthy of love... but then the media tells them that they do indeed have to be, what then? i wonder who kids are going to listen to. i'm not saying gender equality should be left out of school, or isn't worth it, don't get me wrong... rather, it needs to go beyond the schools. what about the kids who slip through because they go to private schools or are home schooled, and thus don't get the message? we need to make changes in lots of places. what about the parents? and more positive depictions of women on tv, that bolster the claims the teaches put forth in the classroom.

if it's the latter, making women's studies a core class, than that would be a bit better, in my opinion. 'cause then it not only teaches the history and psychology and everything else, it also teaches the kids how to identify the mixed messages that are being exposed to them. right now, that's what people need more. they don't see the unbalance. they don't understand what wo/men mean when they say things are not equal. since it would be targeting the youth, they would need the approach that leads them to "open their eyes" more than their posterity would. assuming these kids don't promote hatred or espose sexist images/ideas, the kids that come after them might thrive best in the first way, above.

 

about writing style

I question the use of "we"... unless this is a fairly informal paper, don't use "we" or "I" or "us". Contractions should also be eliminated, but I think I only saw one. Don't use brackets unless you absolutely have to.


this sentence - "When we meet someone new, we alter our own perception so it either fits in with that persons ideas

or change our ideas so that they refute that persons." should be clarified, because I don't really know what you're trying to say with it. Perceptions weren't talked about at all prevoiusly, and aren't really mentioned much afterwards. how do we change, do we really change with every single person we meet?


"It will likely be a female in a minority position however" too short of a sentence, I think... you can probably add it to another sentence or expand on it, like giving a reason why. Reasons make profs happy

oh, and one thing I learned in English class - use "it" as little as possible. Try to always refer to what "it" is.... "it could use improvement" vs "the company's website could use improvement". It's just a way to clarify things


Don't use questions in an essay, they only weaken your argument and make it seem like you're less sure of what you're saying. Make strong statements and back it up with evidence.


Don't limit yourself to America! This is a worldwide issue with global implications

" "something" " - no! give an example. First researcher, first woman to find a new treatment for cancer, first astronomer. Define things, give examples - it always makes you sound like you really know what you're talking about.


"Just to think,

60 years ago, most American females were housewives or secretaries. Most women didn’t have

much to aspire to."

don't use Just to think, it sounds weak. I also disagree with you here... 50-60 years ago women were going crazy with how much stress they were under to have the perfect home. They aspired to be perfect in every way - perfectly clean house, perfect chef, perfect mother, etc. But hey, it's your essay

"(or maybe I’m to young)" like I said earlier, don't use "I" or brackets, but grammatically speaking that should be "too" not "to"

Lastly, explain people you refer too. I know the name Rosa Parks but I don't know what she's actually done. Don't assume that your person knows much. Define words, define people. Explain everything you say, don't just throw out a term and expect your reader to know what the hell you're talking about.




eheeehee.... editor from hell. None of that was meant to be mean, just constructive (hopefully)

 

I think gender equality is an issue way before grade school .Although you bring up some great idea/ issues I also agree with the poster above me's ideas on expanding yoru essay those were good ideas too. I think gender issues start when a child is concieved and there are pre concieved notiones about first if your having a boy or a girl and then once you know....how that child should be raised. For example...if you are having a boy and yoru mother in law says something like boys are like "this----" you should treat them like "this---" ( fill in the blank)...or the father of the boy or mother says he's / she's going to turn out like (blank) ...those preconcieved things we as adults put on children put gender equality at risk for that child. Or when you tell a boy not to cry be a "big boy" or only girls play with dolls...or that he can't like pink thats for girls.. your installing gender ideas into his head. Girls too...When you say don't play in that mud..or don't get dirty thats for boys...things like that...your putting gender rolls on them. Thing is kids are so genuinely human that they havent that notion that we are somehow different from each other unless you tell them that we are. People are born equal then seperated. some are seperated from equality before they are born...the dad that says Im goign to have a boy and hes going to be a football player like a real man... I say gender should not be an issue for any job. If you have the will to do something and the means of doing it ( legs hands mind energy) man or woman can do whatever each otehr do equaly as well. And that is what women have been showing for decades now..that we won't be supressed and degraded.

 

I agree with the above posters that you could nuance your arguments a bit more, and support them with concrete examples

All this paragraph is too vague to be part of a serious essay. What is "loud enough voice" ? it sounds kinda funny as a concept cause I picture this as Mariah Carey screaming her way through a song to bring about social change lol

This assertion needs to be supported with numbers and references.

There are too many emotions here and that's something that needs to be evacuated when writing an essay (even if you're giving your opinion) otherwise it sounds like you're a writing a "pamphlet". Stick to methodology and present both sides, while making it hard for anyone to guess which side you're on.

We have no idea if this is wishful thinking or if it can be proven scientifically.

Pamphlet alert ! Needs to be more rigourous.

Now you're displaying your psychic abilities to your teacher by predicting the future!

My comments are in good fun, but there's definitively room for improvement in your methodology.

 

I got an 89 on my last 12 page paper assignment. Where I lost some of my points (about 4 of them) was explaining gender inequaity through the eyes of a conflict theorist. I may have made the same mistakes above as I did on that 89 paper. But the rest of my paper, in both instances, is very soild.

I'll admit, I just declared sociology last semester (I am a sophomore) and have only taken intro. to soc prior to the two soc classes I am taking this semester, Cont. Soc Theory and Social Problems and Social Solutions (cross coultural perspective). I hope to develop my sological eye and hone my skills. After this semester I'll have three soc classes under my belt and I look foward to the Deviance course for next year (and maybe a Gender Roles class too).