Gender differences in sex addiction (Please note that this is an assignment for the Sexology class that I'm currently following, Assignment 1 - A contribution to the public. Your input will be greatly appreciated as this post will be evaluated by my professors. Unfortunately I am restricted to 500 words so it may seem like I'm not doing much explaining but would love to discuss it further - so please comment and ask any questions you'd like) I would like to address the issues that sex addiction is often not considered a ‘real’ mental disorder and why I think the DSM – 5 should recognize it as such, by focusing on female sex addiction. When people hear about sex addiction, they tend to restrict it to intercourse; but what they don’t know is that sex addicts are hooked not just on the act itself, which often is just a small part of the addiction, but the aspects surrounding it—the planning, fantasizing, anticipation, excitement, even the shame, guilt, and that there is a continual obsession to “do better.” Excessive sex is not a problem as long as the behavior is not compulsive and/or it does not interfere with a person’s life. So the key word here is “compulsive behavior”. The source the addiction for both genders comes from a difficulty in regulating emotions, specifically negative affect, which makes people act out sexually. Like with any other addiction, the person is looking for a ‘fix’; sex becomes then a source of validation, attention, love – which eventually leads to unhealthy sexual patterns. I think recognizing that females are just as likely as men to suffer from the disorder is strong grounds for the case of sex addiction as a mental disorder. When men act out, they often blame the hormones, young age or simply “being a man”. Then how do we explain a similar pattern in female behavior? Even though clinicians recognize that females can suffer from sex addiction, female addicts are much more difficult to identify because there is a strong interrelationship between love and sex: women tend to become sex and love addicts, while most men – just sex addicts. Socially, from an early age women are trained to become codependent, they are told to be cooperative, submissive and quiet. These feelings of codependency may be perceived as weakness and vulnerability (the negative affects I mentioned earlier), causing them to act out obsessively and compulsively. And here is where the interrelationship between love and sex comes to play; a woman seeks a partner to depend on and when that need is not satisfied, she will act out either on her partner (by compulsively engaging in excessive sex) or seek multiple partners outside her relationship, in the same manner as when she’s single. The interesting thing is that women who become sex addicts seem to go against the cultural norms by acting out sexually. For men it is different, because men are brought up to be competitive and independent, they are held responsible and that puts a lot of pressure on them, which in turn can bring a strong sense of entitlement. So what happens when that is taken to extreme is that men develop a lower ability for intimacy and expressing feelings and end up sexualizing and objectifying women in the process. DSM does not recognize it as an illness because of lack of research and evidence but the problem with research in sex addiction is that women are underrepresented and underreported, because not only female sex addiction is difficult to detect but there is a strong stigma around women and sex.
So what you are implying is: If you can't have sex then you cannot be a sex addict (which is true). But then you conclude that because someone cannot be a sex addict then sex addiction does not exist. How is that valid?
You're assignment is to make a contribution to the public. And you are asking for our feedback. I read a lot of jargon in the OP. I don't understand a lot of it, but that's because I'm the public, not a specialist, so I can't be expected to understand what "co-dependent" means. (Other than as buzz word for 12 step programs. "If you are an addict's co-dependant, we can fix you. Just sign up .....") If you want me to understand why being raised to be codependent leads women to become addicts you'll need to explain to me what each of those terms means. In common english, not socio-psych speak. (And explain why (if its true) that "being raised to" is more effective on girls than it is on boys.) Similarly, if you want me to understand the difference between "sex addict" and "real horny" and "slut", you'll have to explain that. And other jargon. Contributions to the public need to use different vocabulary than an assignment you would hand into your teacher.
Hi Mike! Thank you for your feedback. Unfortunately I was restricted to only 500 words for the post so I found it quite difficult to make my point. But I'd love to explain more First, co-dependency occurs when there is an excessive dependence on a partner (see oriental cultures). But I did not state that women who are raised to excessively rely on their partner become addicts, rather that being raised in this manner creates the environment for developing negative feelings, such as feelings of weakness, vulnerability, even worthlessness; which in turn could possibly lead women to act out compulsively - in order to avoid dealing with those feelings. (And explain why (if its true) that "being raised to" is more effective on girls than it is on boys.) - Not sure what you meant there. But I did state that men are raised to be independent and competitive, to be the main "breadwinners" which puts a lot of pressure on them, which in turn creates stress, anxiety. And the mechanism for compulsive behavior is similar to that of women, when men experience negative feelings, they may end up acting out compulsively. The difference is that men tend to develop a lower ability for intimacy and expressing feelings (because they are told to stay strong, keep a straight face, never look weak etc.) and then they could end up sexualizing and objectifying women. So men=sex addicts, Women=love/sex addicts. Regarding the difference between excessive horniness and disorder, the extent to which it impairs daily social functioning plays an important role. According to the DSM, hypersexual disorder is defined: as a repetitive and intense preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges, and behaviors, leading to adverse consequences and clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. One defining feature of the proposed disorder includes multiple unsuccessful attempts to control or diminish the amount of time an individual engages in sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior in response to dysphoric mood states or stressful life events. Other definitions: Compulsive behavior=a very strong urge to do something.
I dont know how these work for women but when a man gets horny, he simply masturbates, then that sexual wish is gone for few hours. When that comes, I masturbate. I masturbate 4 times a day myself. Sex is a luxury for a lot of men. Since we are not women, we can't have sex when we want, unlike women. There are escort websites, which are crawling with trans women. Brothels are safer since they are under the control of goverment but a lot of places dont have brothels.
The topic of my discussion is Sex Addiction as a disorder, which is a compulsive sexual behavior. What you are referring to is sexual desire, which by the way works exactly the same for both genders - yes, women can get just as horny as men do. But no, women usually do not have sex whenever they want, as much as you'd like to think that, and as an attractive young female, I am the living proof of that
It is crawling with hungry men outside. Lol. I havent seen any woman myself in my life who is hungry for sex. No woman is desperate for sex. Lol.
I am self diagnosed as addicted to sex. Mildly by the results of the online testing but addicted none the less. I found quizzes and tests online and anonymously answered the questions. There were several tests I took again and again. It took a little doing to honestly answer these questions. Knowing I remained anonymous helped but I still had issues admitting to the correct answers of some of the questions. One question really hit home. “Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?” The answer was a strong yes. That doesn't make me addicted but when answering many other questions positively the results determined an addiction was present. DSM-5 does not recognize addictions to sex or the elements that surround it. Being addicted to pornography is a sex addiction. Unable to control masturbation desires not unlike desires for an alcoholic beverage is a sex addiction. There are many other scenarios to point to sex addiction but again none are recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. That doesn't mean the association is correct. The human mind is a very complex organ. The human intelligence is miles ahead of any other living creature in our environment. Yet there are some who are unable to control the mind and overcome the urges that trigger the need to participate in something that satisfies the impulse. Is there a difference between male and females with sex addiction? I believe there is. It has to do with hormones secreted within the body. Women have a different hormone production that influences their desire for sex. Can a woman be addicted to sex the same as a man? In their own way they can. As the OP pointed out women tend to become sex and love addicts. Women by nature have giving and nurturing qualities that are stronger than men. My question for the OP is do women, much less everyone, have to orgasm to be addicted to sex? Or is the knowledge that they have made their mate happy enough? I think if she is addicted to that feeling she will seek out as many partners as she can in order to sate the addiction. The trouble is she cannot get the addiction sated and under control. I know a woman who I feel is addicted to having sex but not orgasm. When we get together she is solely concentrated on my pleasure and if I orgasm she is sated, albeit for a short time before she needs another partner to give herself to. She is sated knowing what she does for or to a man that gives him pleasure. If she sees her partner is enjoying sex with her the addiction is fulfilled. Like an alcoholic who does not need to get drunk to satisfy the addiction, a sex addict may not need to orgasm to satisfy the addiction.
Being restricted to 500 words does not justify your lack of focus. It requires you to demonstrate a clarity and conciseness that is lacking from your posting. This statement has been variously attributed to Pearl S. Buck, Benjamin Disraeli, Abraham Lincoln, and Blaise Paschal: "I would have written you a shorter letter, but I didn't have time." Reflect on that. It will serve you well in your studies and later professionally. In 500 words, you can identify the bare bones of arguments in favor of your proposition, but you cannot possibly make the arguments - you will convince no one. PIck one area of argument, and make the argument. What you have done is throw everything at the wall and hope that something will stick. My recommendation is that you address the four elements needed to create a body of empirical evidence in support of your proposition, and those elements are well established in the field. Gaming Disorder wasn't included in the appendix of the DSM-5 until the four pillars of empirical evidence were established, and it remains a somewhat controversial inclusion anyway. Still, you want your pet addiction added without any of the four pillars having been demonstrated. It isn't going to happen, and you give no credible reason why it should. You would do better to present a whole new framework for the entirety of the DSM than to ask for a giant exception in the face of opposition that is better founded than your own argument is, which is what you are doing. If you continue down the path you are on, eliminate all sexist generalizations from your proposal. You have included several stark and glaring ones. They don't strengthen your argument; they weaken it considerably. My own recommendation is that you not attempt to create artificial distinctions between male and female in what is behavioral science. Leave such distinctions to the physical sciences and to medical fields such as gynecologic oncology and urology, not to behavioral science unless it involves a behavior related to biological sex and the observable distinctions between individuals who are 46,XX and 46, XY. Eliminate most of your own personal opinions, other than in the statement of proposition. Give your paper a critical reading. The sentence that begins with "Excessive sex is not a problem..." is nonsensical. If it doesn't interfere with a person's life, and if it isn't a problem, then it isn't excessive.
I believe is not necessary to orgasm to be an addict. In fact, many men and women state that they don't even enjoy the sex but they still feel compelled to do it. The addiction can be anything sex related - seducing, pleasing, planning and preparing and so on. For a healthy person, sex is about pleasure and the relationship. For addicts, sex is a means to satisfy emotional needs or to cope with difficult emotions. For your friend, a possible explanation is that she wants to please because of some underlying fear or insecurities - if she doesn't do a good job in bed he will leave. But if she does a good job, then she doesn't have to worry about it. And at some point it becomes an addiction even if she doesn't consciously perceive her own fears.
[QUOTE="LoanaM, post: 8601940, member: 313489"...DSM does not recognize it as an illness because of lack of research and evidence but the problem with research in sex addiction is that women are underrepresented and underreported, because not only female sex addiction is difficult to detect but there is a strong stigma around women and sex.[/QUOTE] I'm not too sure I agree it's an illness. I think people can get addicted to many different things that gives them pleasure. I'm just guessing that if you REALLY love music a lot you can probably get addicted to wanting to listen to it every day, but I wouldn't consider that a disease. But sex addiction is a real addiction, just like addictions to drugs and alcohol. It can really consume you if you are not careful.
With the risk of sounding overly critical: "I'm just guessing that if you REALLY love music a lot you can probably get addicted to wanting to listen to it every day, but I wouldn't consider that a disease" --> That's NOT how addiction works. Also, you first say that you're not too sure you agree it's an illness then you state that sex addiction is a 'real addiction', which is quite contradictory, since addiction is an illness (of the mind).
Types of addiction: Alcohol Addiction. Drug Addiction. Prescription Drug Addiction. Gambling Addiction. Eating Disorders. Gaming Addiction. Pornography Addiction. ............................. I agree sex addiction is definitely an addiction. I'm just not sure all of the above, including sexual addiction, are "diseases". Not that it matters. Because disease or not its a terrible thing to have.
I did not say that it is a disease but an illness (disorder). And all addictions are in the mind, regardless of the object of the addiction.
Loana, would you classify a sex worker as being addicted to sex? Anyone who has employment that focuses on sex seems likely they would have to enjoy providing for a client if they remained in the business for long term. The ratio between male and female working in the sex business is heavily tilted towards women. Would you consider them to be addicted? Or would it be about the level of income they can achieve that drives them to work in the business. How well she treats clients increases income as she will have returning clients and referrals. If she does a good job word spreads and her income is sustained. Not all sex work is illegal. Pornography actors, strippers, magazine centerfolds and nude models have little or no legal issues. Escorts, street walkers, even masseuses and some activities a stripper may do have legal implications. It is risky as legalities play a role in the level of what a sex worker can provide but the reward matches the risk. Could they be addicted to the risk of selling their body? Could they be addicted to the attention the client gives them and not the sex they have? What drives women to become sex workers? Especially those who are not being forced to provide for a client.
I live in Amsterdam and as you may know, prostitution is legal here and they're quite open about it. I know some people in the business and they all do it for the money. Except for one girl who is a sex and love addict but she only does it once in a while - she would start browsing sexjobs.nl and get in contact with loads of men. But as soon as she encounters 'danger' (there's always some weirdo who either gets aggressive or obsessive) she stops. It's like a wake up call for her, she says. A reason to set her priorities straight. So once in a while she relapses but as soon as she's reminded of the risks, she stops. So people are quite different - some might really enjoy danger while for others it's a warning sign. Some might enjoy the feeling they get when they make someone happy, others completely objectify the client. I'm sure there's a few sex addicts in prostitution as well. Could they be addicted to the attention the client gives them and not the sex they have? That is quite possible. It could also be the feeling of novelty and uncertainty that turns them on - they never know who the client will be, what will he want, what will happen. As for regular clients, a lot of sex workers develop a closer relationship with them, even to the point where the man even falls in love. What drives women to become sex workers? I think the possibility of a high income is very tempting to people with low self esteem and self-destructive behaviors. We had a lecture on sex workers and from what I remember, most sex workers are under-educated, come from a low income family, some are drug addicts and that's how they end up selling their body. The topic sex addiction was not discussed though.
