'Gay' as a Derogatory Term

I know that is has become second nature to some people, and they don't mean it to be offensive... But IT IS. And every time I hear someone say it or post it I cringe.

It's become much more common than other derogatory terms or racial slurs, to the point when people use it and you speak out on it they get upset at you for even being offended. Just recently here on hipforums, I spoke out to someone about referring to something as 'gay' and I was told to shut the fuck up and then neg repped and called a fag in the title of the neg rep. He apologized later, but only after he found out I was actually gay and not some bleeding heart liberal. I mean WTF?!?!

I feel like here of all places that it would be a bit more progressive and that I wouldn't have to worry about such a thing, but that's just not so... I mean it's just that acceptable in our society today... it's like taking a breath!

This is a word that has somehow went from meaning joyous and happy to a word that describes a homosexual... And since it's used to describe a homosexual, it's now used as labeling all things negative.

I know that since to most people that use it this way it has become like second nature, that it's not that easy to erase from there vocabulary... but if you claim to be a human with strong values of love and peace then you should not be using it and every effort to stop using the word as a derogatory term should be made.

 

shut up faggot.. I think thats more powerful..

gay holds no power behind it.. everyone is gay btw..

 

I hate it that the word has been usurped by it's now accepted homosexual connotation. It's hard to find an appropriate replacement of the original meaning.

 

good point...

'faggot' is just as popular as 'gay' when it comes to derogatory terms...

Shit like this burns me even more...

 

You mean carefree and happy?

Cause smiley faces have way more right to be offended than homos :afro:

 

my grandmother used the word gay to refer to cute clothing

incidentally I think the gay community would embrace her as a fag hag if she had been born a few generations later

 

Interesting that I can make two similar posts on this just hours apart in different threads. In another thread I said that gay was already a proper word. It means happy, festive. I have a ton of music from before the 70's wherein the word was used prolifically in lyrics, no doubt due to its great rhyme-ability. Then it was taken from us when the community misappropriated it for the purpose of changing its meaning to 'homosexual'. Now, all those great songs are confusing to new listeners and the word can no longer be used properly.

It's easy to understand the strategy, though. Prior to the misappropriation, other words were used commonly to address homosexual people. Queer was the most common one, and fruit was also widely used. The community must have rightly felt that if those words could be misappropriated for derisive purposes (by the majority), then they were fully justified in changing a word of their choosing that would, therefore, be considered acceptable to them.

And they were justified. But I've always wished they had chosen a different one. I've really regretted the loss of such a usable word (in lyrics) and I'm reminded of that every time I hear or sing one of those songs.

But the absconding of the word is what has sown the seeds of its derisive use now. The homosexual community has been so successful at virtually eliminating queer, fruit, fairy, gearbox - all of which they hated - with their own preference, gay, that it has gained near-universal usage and has therefore become, for some, a word of derision now. This is because, like it or not, most people don't relate very well to homosexuality. Still, I believe that tolerance is ever-growing. Progress is being made constantly. When I was a teenager homosexuality was punishable by imprisonment (irony anyone?) and this is hard to believe now. It shows just how much progress has been made.

There's something else to keep in mind. When people say 'that's gay' as a derisive term it's not really meant as derision of a sex proclivity - it's meant to indicate that they find the thing being commented upom to be effeminate in nature. Homosexuality is only insulted by way of association, not necesarily by intention. Gay is, after all, one of the more effeminate sounding synonyms for happy - and was even before it was adopted by the community.

It's a double-edged sword sometimes, getting what you want.

 

Gay people who get offended when you say "that's so gay" are sooooooo gay.

I am a gay man who calls things gay when referring to homos AND when something is stupid. Come on guys, its like black people saying nigga. Just embrace it

 

Everything that's derided as "gay" is because it's effeminate? That is not true in the slightest. "Gay" is used by some people to negatively describe anything. More often than not, the thing in question has nothing to do with homosexuality, let alone being effeminate. Though "gay" and "effeminate" are very often classed as one and the same thing by most people. So I suppose something derided as "gay" is also being derided as "effeminate" by association. But that doesn't mean that whatever it is actually is effeminate.

And it is not the same as black people refferring to themselves as niggas. Because a white person using that term for a black person would still be deemed a racist. "******" is not a widely accepted term for black people by most in society. It's still considered a racist term when white people use it. So the only way the term "gay" could be classed as similar, is if it was okay for gay people to use it in a derogatory way amongst themselves, but it becomes a homophobic term if used by heterosexuals.

 

i'm white and I use the word nigga, facetiously, in front of my white and black friends. I'm also straight and i use the adjective gay in front of my gay friends.

words come to life with intention.

 

i dont feel offended by the use of the word, but it does slightly irk me when someone uses it excessively and just for calling something stupid or uncool because i dont hear any other minority terms for calling something negative. simple enough right?

 

"yo man thats so slant eyed."
"i know, its so stupid, its fuckin nigga"

 

um ok well good point. if you're gonna use derogatory words, use em for all parties so the gays arent the only ones.
no one wants to be alone :sunny:

 

That is of course very true. But it still doesn't alter the fact, that to most people, a white person using the word ******, to describe a black person in any capacity, would be considered unacceptable and racist. I was merely pointing out that if most people consider ****** to be a racist term when used by whites (which is the case), why is it then that most of those same people would think it was okay for a heterosexual to use the word "gay" to describe anything that's wrong, or bad? When "gay" first started being used as term to describe anything negatively, it was certainly because homosexuals were seen as being wrong and bad. So although many people who use the word in a negative way now may not be directing their hate towards homosexuals, that is surely how the term first came to be used in that capacity.

Speaking of the term "fag-hag", which I myself have been called a couple of times, I find it pretty stupid. Cos it's as if it's seen as a bad thing for a woman to have friends who are gay men. And again, regardless of how the term is used by most now, it was originally invented as a derogatory term.

 

Did you really think I was saying 'everything'? Every case? Though it can also mean 'not cool' and/or 'ineffective', the effeminate connotation generally is the root. Effeminate is appreciated only in the sense that men are sexually or romantically attracted to women who display that traditional female 'soft' characterization. Other than in that, it's not appreciated (generally speaking).

 

The way you said it, made it sound like an absolute statement to me. I do totally agree that feminine traits in men are usually looked upon with scorn and derision. But that still doesn't mean that (in most cases anyway) the specific thing that is being described as "gay" in a negative way, is effeminate at all. Because in most cases it isn't.

Im thinking though that you may have meant that the word gay itself, when its used in a negative way, is reffering to being effeminate, rather than being homosexual. Though as I said before, to many people, a man being gay, is effeminate by default. In any case, its just as unacceptable to insult a man for being effeminate, as it is to insult him for being homosexual. Its no less discriminatory.

 

i agree.^^

really? i guess its just where you live. being a fag hag has absolute no negative connotation where i am. just means you got a bunch of gay guy friends, not necessarily all of your friends are gay guys. many people will agree that it's more of a silly term than a derogatory term.
the gay community has a ton of terms and labels. bears, twinks, cubs, chubs, chasers, otters, beards, panda bear, fag hag, goldilocks, hasbian, etc. if someone was called one of them they would most likely wouldn't mind because, they're more on the silly side and cuz it doesnt have a connotation because it's not associated with hate.

 

i probably shouldnt have used that term on here but I don't really think about things like that because I never come with the intention to offend anyone or refer to anyone in a derogative way. Words aren't a big deal to me in that sense. Of course, I also have a mouth any mother would love to wash out with soap, so ..:leaving:

 

this is some g-d damn motherfucking gay ass ****** shit, right here!!..

How do you take this sentence?.

Im 100% I used it while on the phone with Verizon wireless 2 days ago... connection problems.

Entirely pissed off about something- sounds like something Mel Gibson would say dont it?.

 

Im not saying I find the term offensive, or even that it's negative. lol (I actually dont have many gay guy friends, Ive been called it merely because I have male friends who are gay, and one of them is a close friend) I just stated that the term was originally meant to be derogatory. I did call the term "silly" rather than derogatory, because that's how I see it. Although as has been stated before, depending on the person using the term, and the intention behind it, the term can either be fun and harmless, or be discriminatory and hateful. Generally, Id laugh at being called a "fag hag", unless it was by someone who actually was homophobic.

Wow, I havent heard of any of those labels you've just mentioned. At least not in terms of people being gay.