G-Force Movie Blurb by Shale August 1, 2009 Today's movie was pretty much decided by the weather. With thunderstorms and summer showers until afternoon, I ventured out on my bike when it finally broke and got to the Cinema just as G-Force was starting. Not my first pick but a movie I had thought about seeing if for nothing more than the 3-D. I haven't been to a 3-D movie since they had the blue and red cardboard glasses. The glasses I got today are plastic and have normal-looking lenses - just polarized differently to give the 3-D effect. There was even a cartoon entro explaining to the kids to put on their glasses. Of course without them you saw a blurred image. Well the movie was a Disney CGI with animated and live characters. I am really impressed at the artwork that goes into these things, especially the realism of the anthropomorphised guinea pigs. I am also impressed with the 3-D effects, which seem much improved over the old color glasses days. Some of the action really appears to be taking place in the seats right in front of you and on several occasions I heard the kids in the theater go "Whoa!" (BTW, saw trailers in 3-D today. Coming up from Disney is a live/animated remake of A Christmas Carol and Alice in Wonderland. Gonna see 'em) So, here is the story of this PG rated movie. The government is sponsoring this program that uses genetically enhanced animals for spy missions. They are outfitted with electronics that let them talk to humans, so you get these cute guinea pigs doing their cute stuff, while also doing all the action required to keep the kids in the theater happy. The program funding is being threatened by a new boss in the FBI so Ben (Zach Galifianakis) their leader has them infiltrate the tech industrialist, Saber (Bill Nighy) and find out what his plan is (world destruction of course). The guinea pig team led by Darwin (voiced by Sam Rockwell) and comprised of Juarez (Penelope Cruz) and Blaster (Tracy Morgan) manage to pull off their mission with the inside help of a tech savvy mole, Spreckels (voiced by Nicolas Cage). Blaster and Juarez on a Mission Improbable Spreckels Working Underground Of course the G-men still shut down G-force and confiscate all the equipment and would have gotten the guinea pigs and mole had they not used their talents to escape. However, they end up captives in a pet store for more adventure. The memorable line of this movie is in the pet store when Blaster gets picked up by human buyers and wants to know how to get away. The mice in the next cage yell "Poop in his hand! Poop in his hand! (A little inside humor for all us kids who've kept rodents as pets). Finally, the G-Force gets away and rejoins Ben to go after Saber again and yeah, there is lots of animated and 3-D action literally jumping off the screen at you. There is a big battle at the end, using all our G-Force heroes to finally put down the robotic world threat started by Saber. Darwin on Wheels I enjoyed the movie, but probably because I was looking at the CGI, the art and enjoying the 3-D effects. Only about a quarter of the reviewers on Rottentomatoes gave this move a "Fresh" score. Here are excerpts of some of their criticisms. ------------------------ Unimaginatively, boringly bland without much to make you excited or angry about seeing it. - Willie Waffle ------------------------ If you know a 7-year-old who's still angry he wasn't allowed to see Transformers, G-Force is sure to make him feel better. But other than him, it's hard to say who this abrasive comedy is meant to charm. - Elizabeth Weitzman ------------------------ Pointing out G-Force’s plot holes would be redundant; it’s more hole than plot, and more videogame commercial and exhausted-old-trope clearinghouse than film. - Tasha Robinson ------------------------ Without a strong villain, a charismatic hero or a clear quest, it's all just a pointless frenzy, an exercise in going nowhere fast. A bit like a hamster on a wheel. - Stella Papamichael ------------------------ Do what you must to ensure that somebody else ferries your kids to this dud. Thank me later. - Gary Thompson ------------------------ Again, I fault those reviewers for not getting it. When I went to this matinee there were mostly little pre-teen kids. In fact, I had to get into my tolerant, grampa mode not to be annoyed at the comments and exclamations of the kids around me. I criticize the critics for not realizing for whom this movie was made. What does an 8-year-old care about plot holes, clear quests, charismatic heroes or strong villains. "Pointless Frenzy?" Yeah, that works! It works for an 8-year-old and sometimes works for me, especially in 3-D.
