Future Housing Situation...

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Butters, Apr 3, 2007.

  1. Butters

    Butters Senior Member

    Okay so, I know this is far off and everything, but what the hell. I'm bored, its kinda fun to talk about, and I really am curious on people's thoughts. So the girlfriend and I are extremely serious, and we both know for sure that we're each the ones that the other wants to be with for good (trust me, we're waaaaaaay past that "honeymoon stage" and we're able to definetly tell now that we're perfect together). So, she and I talk a lot about our future, and the main thing both of us are sure of is that when we graduate from college (which is now less than a year away) we want our own place and everything. Which by that time we'd both be 22, which definetly isn't "too early" for that.

    So, we think we want to start with an apartment for maybe a year, and then get a home of some kind. Thats when the bigger decision starts. I'm from a big city, and I've always lived in large neighborhoods with houses planted right next to each other, and she's from a VERY small town, and is used to living in a house on acres and acres of land, out in the middle of nowhere. Her parents have told her that they would be perfectly willing to give us a few acres on their plot of land for us to have a house (since they really seem to like me a lot). This would be really nice, because its really pretty where she lives, and they have a cool pond and everything. However, we would then be living next to her parents (we'd be right across the pond). What do you all think would be the best? I'm just curious, because I can see advantages and disadvantages to each... Any thoughts? And don't give me that "its so far off, dont think about all this yet" crap, hahaha. Just let me have my fun. :)
     
  2. BraveSirRubin

    BraveSirRubin Members

    Depends... how much do you like her parents? How intruding are they?

    I think that having free land and so is still a good place to start off of... you can make some money while living there and then eventually move into your own place... it also depends on what you want to do work-wise after college. Maybe an apartment in the city would be better for you because it'd be closer to work... lots of factors to consider.
     
  3. Butters

    Butters Senior Member

    Yea, I didn't say everything in my first post because I didnt want it too long so that people wouldn't bother to read it...

    I love her family. I have a lot of fun being around them, and they seem to really like me.

    Work-wise, I'm studying Mass Communications and Visual Communications, so I may get into advertising or video/photogrpahy work. She is going to be a teacher, probably 2nd grade.

    Where she lives is "in the middle of nowhere" but still not bad. Its a 30 minute drive to a major city, where I would probably get a job, which actually isn't nearly as bad as what my dad does now (he drives almost 50 minuts each way to get to work every morning).

    My main concerns are that I'm not used to living like that at all. I live in a suburban neighborhood with a tiny piece of lawn, and she lives on acreage in a modular home (not a trailor, people always think of trailors when you say modular). So basically what I'm wondering is what do you think of that idea. My parents don't really agree with it because they don't want me out in the country. I'm just worried about how awkward it would be living so close to her parents... I don't want that to doom the relationship or anything...
     
  4. If you get along well with her family, why not? Especially if they are willing to give you land! my bf and i are the same way, he likes to be in the middle of nowhere, I like to be around people and houses and activity. I have actually suggested this same idea to him because his dad passed away not long ago and his mom is living by herself in a decent sized house with a decent bit of land. The house definitely needs to be fixed up and he suggested helping to pay for it and move in with her, and I love his mom, but I am not ready to live in a house with her, especially because she smokes in the house and stuff, ANYWAY, I suggested maybe we build a house on the same property. I think it is a great idea, especially if you get along well with her family.
     
  5. Butters

    Butters Senior Member

    So you don't think that would be bad for the relationship or anything? Her still being so close to her family... and me being far away from mine?
     
  6. I suppose it could be, if she becomes or is dependant on her family too much, or if they decide to come over too much, things like that. There is always a down side to it, but you figure it's gonna be your first house, and you're gonna need help, so it's going to be nice to have someone there all the time. I think it would work out really well with my bf's mom because she is a very keeps-to-herself kind of person, and she would absolutely give us our own space. but if her mom is like the mom on "Everybody Loves Raymond" or something, then it could turn into a problem...
     
  7. Butters

    Butters Senior Member

    I see what you mean... Well her mom seems to be a healthy mix. She keeps to herself sometimes, and wants to be around others sometimes. Her dad is a loner, very nice guy, but very quiet and almost always wants to keep to himself. Its her I'm more worried about. She is VERY attached to her family, and she also has a 2 year old brother, who she always constantly has to be around... But then again, you make a good point. It will be our first house, and some help definetly wouldn't hurt. And I suppose we could always save up money, and move somewhere else after a while. But then again, her family would then be left with an empty house on their property....
     
  8. stinkfoot

    stinkfoot truth

    If kids are anywhere in your plans having her mom might not be a bad idea as that could work to lift a huge burden from your shoulders.

    Sounds like you and your GF have much to negotiate...

    Cultivate a closer friendship with her parents. Work on the reclusive puzzle that is her dad. Take him into confidence on a few things. Ask advice... demonstrate that you value their friendship.
     
  9. Butters

    Butters Senior Member

    Kids are definetly in our plans, not for a few years of course, but we both are family people, and we'd love to have kids.

    Her dad will actually voluntarily talk to me, which, according to her, has never really happened before. Its just kind of hard on me, because her and her whole family are more country folk and I'm a city boy. Its just a big change for me.
     
  10. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

    personally id be the most worried about getting a job that isnt a really long commute away. but lots of folks live in a tiny town up north and ddrive into th ecity im in to work so its not exactly unheard of. just expect your gas expenses to go up, your ability to just do things on the spur of hte moment to go down (you cant just walk over to ao coffee shop with your friends) and, well, feeling a bit isolated. ive lived on an acreage before and its beautiful but really isolating somehow, at least for me it was. im a city girl and i like hanging out with my friends or being able to walk over to a coffee shop when the mood strikes me.

    i think as long as you arent living in the parents house itll be fine in that respect. you can always go hide in your house if you need to, yknow? way less of a problem than if you were to live in teh same house as them
     
  11. BraveSirRubin

    BraveSirRubin Members

    If your main concern in not being used to live in a rural area, then honestly... don't worry about it... I'm sure that you will love it.
     
  12. Butters

    Butters Senior Member

    Yea, you may be right. I mean, I'm a city boy, but also, I've always been kind of an isolated person as is. I've never really felt the need to leave the house all the time and go do things. So not living 2 minutes from a coffee shop and stuff like that, really won't bother me so much. Because even when I'm close to those places, I don't go anyway.
     
  13. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

    Living right across from the in laws?

    Oh hell no. :H
     
  14. Butters

    Butters Senior Member

    Hahaha, well I can see how that could be bad... but I actually do really like these in-laws, so it wouldn't be too bad for me. We've talked more about this, and it seems like it may be the most cost efficient route for us to take. She swears that we won't be around her family everyday, and living out in the country could actually be really nice. Its beautiful there at night, I've never before been able to see all the stars in the sky, but I can there. Home-wise, we're looking into modulars. They're a lot cheaper than building a "regular" house, and are actually really nice.
     

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