Future hope

So,I've posted on here before, I got some good advice and now I'd just like people's opinions on something else. Basically to sum it up I've been off and on for eight months with someone I think I could fall in love with. We're at differant points in our life right now and it seems like our timing's always off. I accept that it's something that really can't get serious right now but I would love to hear a ray of hope kind of story about people that took some time off and got back together. I've decided to move away in about five months and this fellow's talking about moving there in a year or so but I just feel kind of sad and I'm not really sure if it's all talk on his end. It's just frustrating because we're basically perfect in every way for each other but he's got a lot of issues from his past he needs to deal with first. I don't know, I just hope someone can give me a bit of a glimmer,thanks.

 

I'll be honest I believe that when people are on and off that it really can't work. There is no stability with the relationship and if you don't have that then you can't really built a stable relationship. Just because you think he is perfect in every way for you doesn't mean he is right for you. I don't mean to crush your hopes but this is just my belief.

 

I agree with the above poster.

I can see breaking up once...but over and over? That's just not a good relationship to begin with.

How old are ya'll, if you don't mind me asking.

 

Not young enough to base our inconsistancy on age. I'm 26 and he's 35.

 

It could actually be because there is such a jump in age. You two are in different stages of your lives.

 

Maybe, but it doesn't necessarily have to do with the age gap. I do agree with you when you say on and off relationships generally don't work, sophie, but the age gap sometimes makes the relationships better, cuz not everyone matures emotionally with the same rhythm (and some never do). Women tend to mature earlier than men, so such an age gap can actually be benefic if it levels both parts' emotional maturity.

marquis, even though you were looking for examples of successful relationships that started off the same shaky way as yours, remember you must be realistic (not optimistic nor pessimistic) about this, otherwise you might end up blinding yourself with denial, dear. I'm not saying there is no way it's going to work, but what sophie said is true: this things hardly ever end up well.
You don't have to wait for him indefinitely just cuz he has issues, especially when you have no idea if he'll overcome them or how long that would take him.

 

I don't mean that it is the age gap. It is just a possibility. Hell I'll agree that I definitely love a more mature man. But not all women are as mature or even in the same stages as an older man. That is all that I'm say.

I've been seeing a guy that is much older then me for four months and I like him cause he is more mature then the last guy I was with.

 

Amen to that! You and me both

 

If you are perfect in every way for one and other, then it is bound to work- even through some more stress situations. All you can do is cross your fingers and hope he isn't telling you lies regarding moving, but on the flip-side moving can be stressful and perhaps having this little time before he arrives may in fact help you settle into a new environment quicker.

For the record people, not all older men are anymore mature than us younger ones. In fact I know a few older guys who date younger girls, believing their 'stigma' of maturity helps them get their leg over on naive younger girls. Harsh words, and not true in all cases, but certainly in some.

 

And don't I know it?! lol And I'm a man!
Most men tend to mature late (thirties or more) and some don't even mature at all I'm 21 and yet to feel chemistry with a man under 30 cuz their maturity never match mine. But it ain't easy even with these.
Oh, fuck it. I should just get myself a chocolate dildo, stick to it and stop wasting my time on men :groupwave:

P.S: Shame that I can't teach a dildo to cuddle, grope and moan.

 

Haha at least you can find some comfort in a dildo. Lol I can't stand the things. Which is why I'm hoping it works out with this guy.