fun with crisis line in time crisis

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by deleted, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    How to have fun with crisis line in time of crisis.. This is a real call.. :D

    CC, Crisis line..
    PC, Person calling..

    CC, Hello Crisis line.
    PC, I dont know what to do?

    CC, Do about what?
    PC, FOOD!!

    CC, you dont have any food?
    PC, Yes.

    CC, Where you calling from?
    PC, My house..

    CC, You dont have any food?
    PC, We did we ate it.

    CC, you cant get any more food, do you have money?
    PC, No I dont have money, havent had money in months, What little money I have I need to buy fuel.

    CC, Would you like a food bank number?
    PC, I called all the food banks in my area they have no food.

    CC Can you get to a hospital?
    PC, hospital will give me food?

    CC, yes, you can let them know your circumstances.
    PC, Im not sick.

    CC, you dont have to be sick.
    PC, I dont have money for hospital bills.

    CC, you can get help and medical assistance.
    PC, so I get a little meal and the hospital gets $1,500 from the government to give me a samich and check my blood pressure?

    CC. (quiet)
    PC, :toetap05:.. Hello..

    CC, yes..
    PC, Can I just get the $1,500.00 from the government and you get a jelly sammich

    CC, what?
    PC, I said. Can I just get the $1,500.00 the government would give the hospital for my medical assistance and you get the jelly sammich..

    CC, I dont think you can do that?
    PC, why not? I mean you dont do nothing for me and get a ton of cash, and Im still in a crisis. Give me the money theys is going to give you and Ill be on my merry way!!

    CC, What make you think they pay the hospital this money?
    PC, Ive seen what it cost fot emergency service, IMO.. .. Offer me little service and bill me thousands of dollars..

    CC, what can I do to help you today?
    PC, ..................Figure out how I get paid and you dont!!

    CC, how would we do that?
    PC, I dont know, you think your job is secure? I used to work in health care fool and now Im calliing you.

    CC, If you worked for health care how come your not working now?
    PC, WTF are you stupid, you live in that cubical with no access to TV or something?..

    CC, first, please watch your language, ok.
    PC, HAHAAHAH what ever...

    CC, I know its overwhelming, Im sure there some work out there for you if you look..
    PC, Nice, Wouldnt it be, If I hadnt lost my job, had my car repossed and Im stranded in the midldle of the woods about to eat my fucking dog cause we havent had food in weeks.. Cant go hunting cause bullets cost money.
    I cant even shoot myself..

    CC, would you like someone to come out to you, we can bring you some food, Maybe some mcdonalds and check and see if you need medical care..
    PC, MCdonalds!, you bring me macdonalds and youll need medical care!!

    CC, You dont eat mcdonalds.
    PC, no you can bring me some bullets and Ill shoot my own meal..

    CC, Sorry I dont think we can do that..
    PC, Why not?

    CC, I dont think we can give you bullets.
    PC, Ok give me money and ride me to wal mart..

    CC, Dont think we can do that either.
    PC, cant give me money?

    CC, I dont think we can give you money if you intended to buy bullets.
    PC, WAIT! Didnt you hear what i said? Im in the woods in the middle of nowhere..

    CC, Do you have neighboors?
    PC, NO!

    CC, Where are you located
    PC, (WOODs)..

    PC, My cell phones about to die..

    CC, Do you have a number where we can reach you back..
    PC, yes. (fake)

    CC, Can you tell me exactly what you need so so we can work on a plan before we call you back..
    PC, I need food, and some bullets..

    CC, Ok we will work on the food for you. ok.. youll be alright yes..
    PC, yes im cool, going to eat the dog.. :D
  2. mr.greenxxx

    mr.greenxxx Not an Average Bear

    hahahah :D

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