fuck the olympics ok???? how about the stoner olympics

Sooooo what sports do you think we should have???? What do you believe you would excel at???

HAHAH this could be good...... food vendors would make a killing

 

olympic food vendoring

 

haha^ i would do good in the 10 hour sleep race

 

100m joint relay, first team to smoke it all wins. hehe

 

who can smoke the most in a bong hit, who can smoke a blunt the fastest, who can eat the most weed brownies before puking balls, who can roll a blunt/joint the fastest or best. there is all kinds of shit you could do.

 

How bout. who can eat the most salty crackers before giving up from pasties

 

Haha this would be great.
I would dominate at... elaborate story telling or speed napping or tree climbing but I would fail very very badly at hacky sacking.

 

definitely baked gymnastics.. just get blazed and throw yourself around on some mats like a handicap

 

Hahaha. The saltine idea made my mouth literally hurt. That would take tremendous training

 

Joint rolling
Fan styled rolling
Largest hit from a 5'' glass pipe
Reddest eyes from a blunt
best microwave knowledge(with times)
best weed brownies
longest distance ran after a gram joint
fastest to deal an ounce on the streets

 

haha oh id totally kick all your asses

 

Or who could smoke the most dope consecutively


who could grow the best dope.... Guess they kinda got that already though


speaking of.... anybody ever go to the cannabis cup

 

someone is having a stoner olympics in Toronto not sure when but i seen it advertised on the hightimes website.

 

Im going to the stoner olympics in toronto... i just looked it up and bought tickets

 

Shit, I'd just be the guy that tests if all the marijuana is Olympic enough to be entered.


Or if there was a event . Who can get the most paranoid and come up with the craziest revelations, I'd beat bitches at that. lol

 

guitar hero

 

how about tree napping? i can do that. freaks a lot of people out ;Þ

or lego/ kinex build offs

or giggling

or being paranoid

or lighter flicking

or in the words of Shel Silverstein...

Now In the laid back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lived a girl named Pearly Sweetcake, you prob’ly knew her well.
She was stoned fifteen of her eighteen years and her story was widely told
That she could smoke 'em faster than anyone could roll.
Well Her legend finally reached New York, that Grove Street walk-up flat
Where dwelt The Calistoga Kid, a beatnik from the past
He been rolling dope since time began now he took a cultured toke
And said, “Jim, I can roll ‘em faster, Jim, than any chick can smoke!”

So a note gets sent to San Rafael, “For the Championship of the World
The Kid demands a smoke off!” "Well, bring him on!" says Pearl,
"I'll grind his fingers off his hands, he'll roll until he drops!"
Says Calistog, "I'll smoke that chick till she blows up and pops!”
So they rent out Yankee Stadium and the word is quickly spread
"Come one, come all, who walk or crawl, tickets – just two lids a head
And from every town and hamlet, over land and sea they speed
The world's greatest dopers, with the Worlds greatest weed
Hashishers from Morocco, hemp smokers from Peru
And the Shashnicks from Bagun who puff the deadly Pugaroo
And those who call it Light of Life and those that call it boo.

See the dealers and their ladies wearing turquoise, lace, and leather
See the narcos and the closet smokers puffin’ all together
From the teenies who smoke legal to the ones who've done some time
To the old man who smoked “reefer” back before it was a crime
And the grand old house that Ruth built is filled with the smoke and cries
Of fifty thousand screaming heads all stoned out of their minds.
And they play the national anthem and the crowd lets out a roar
As the spotlight hits The Kid and Pearl, ready for their smokin' war
At a table piled up high with grass, as high as a mountain peak
Just tops and buds of the rarest flowers, not one stem, branch or seed.

I mean a Maui Wowie, Panama Red , Acapulco Gold.
Kief from East Afghanistan and that rare Alaska Cold.
and theres Sticks from Thailand, Ganj from the Island, and Bangkok's Bloomin' Best.
And some of that wet imported shit that capsized off Key West.
Oaxacan tops and Kenya Bhang and Riviera Fleurs.
And that rare Manhatten Silver that grows down in the New York sewers.
And there's bubblin’ ice cold lemonade and sweet grapes by the bunches.
And there's Hershey’s bars, and Oreos, ‘case anybody gets the munchies.
And the Calistoga Kid, he smiles, and Pearly, she just grins.
And the drums roll low and the crowd yells “GO! GO GO!”
and the world’s first Smoke Off begins.

well the Kid flicks his fingers once and ZAP! that first joint’s rolled.
Pearl takes one toke with her famous lungs and WOOSH! that roach is cold.
Then The Kid he rolls his Super Bomb that would paralyze a moose.
And Pearl takes one mighty hit and SLURP! that bomb’ defused.
and Then he rolls three in just ten seconds and she smokes 'em up in nine,
And everybody sits back and says, "Hey, This just might take some time."
See the blur of flyin’ fingers, see the red coal burnin’ bright
As the night turns into mornin’ and the mornin’ fades to night
And the autumn turns to summer and a whole damn year is gone
But the two still sit on that roach-filled stage, smokin' and rollin' on
With tremblin’ hands he rolls his jays with fingers blue and stiff
She coughs and stares with bloodshot gaze, and puffs through blistered lips.
And as she reaches out her hand for another stick of gold
The Kid he gasps, "damn it, bitch, there's nothin' left to roll!"
"Nothin’ left to roll?", screams Pearl, "Is this some twisted joke?”
“I didn't come here to fuck around, man, I come here to SMOKE!"
And she reaches 'cross the table And grabs his bony sleeves
And crumbles his body between her hands like dried and brittle leaves
Flickin' out his teeth and bones like like useless stems and seeds
And then she rolls him in a Zig Zag and lights him like a roach.
And the fastest man with the fastest hands goes up in a puff of smoke.

In the laid-back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lives a girl named Pearly Sweetcake, you prob’ly know her well.
She’s been stoned twenty-one of her twenty-four years, and her story is still widely told. How she still can smoke them faster than any dude can roll
While off in New York City on a street that has no name.
There's the hands of the Calistoga Kid in the Viper Hall of Fame
And underneath his fingers there's a little golden scroll
That says, "Beware of Bein’ the Roller When There's Nothin’ Left to Roll."


place where you can listen to it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVfE_-ZJAxc

 

WHATT? I never knew Shel Silverstein wrote things like that! I've only read his childrens books! That poem/story is fantastic!!! Where is it from?

 

my fav. of your stories is this one...even though you took DXM


Lol reminds me of the time I took 1,000mg of DXM at a friends and got home just as it hit me. I busted though the front door and was falling all over the place and my moms like "wdf are you on? what did you take?"

Me: I fell
her: you hit your head? you must have a concusion we gotta gotot he hostpital
me: fuck, idk I fell.. from the towers.. fuck idk
her : *stares at me*
me : Shit, ok ok I remember now I took DXM"
her : Wdf you do that for?
Me: its ok I'll be alright *I then picked up our cat*
Me: Finally I cuaght the demon at last ahah!

lol that was fun.

 

from the album "Songs and Stories"

its been a favorite for a long time i edited it to the version i know and love.

i also like "I got stoned and i missed it" very stoner song