Fuck Buddy Unsure

So I've been seeing this guy for 9 months we are not in a relationship but we have had sex a few times well maybe more then a few at first I used to stay over I even spent Christmas eve with him. He has been up front and told me he isn't ready for a relationship. I left for a while then he contacted me again and I went and saw him at first I hated him but then I thought maybe just sex with him will be okay. He thinks about himself he constantly talks about himself and sometimes I look at him and think you are so boring why would I want to date you. Then I think yeap its okay to just be fuck buddies and I'm totally fine with that. Sometimes I really enjoy being around him we laugh have a good time the sex is amazing which is probably why we both keep running back to each other I asked him why cant he just leave me alone find someone else and he says I'm a really top chick that I make him laugh and he enjoys my company. See the problem is when I'm not around him I don't think about him I continue on with my life as normal its when we get together and days after my feelings get all court up in the moment and I want more.. How do you walk away when you really enjoy the things the guy does offer you. how do I just enjoy the sex for what it is and not think stupid. Am i fooling myself.. I know its not all him as I run to him too and I answer the phone I know if I just cut him out my life I wouldn't feel like this but I cant I want him in my life. Its bloody stupid hes only in my life for a few hours at a time why am I doing this to myself.

 

I have had a similar relationship with a few. It took the right person to make you forget the rest. Some might say to be strong and walk away but those hurtful relationships fill a need like an addiction. Fortunately for me one person lost interest and the other moved away but both messed up my head for years and i had way too much sex fir too long with both.

 

Lust can be a pretty strong emotion, it can even have us believing that it is love or that lust has grown into love.

Think how you would feel if for some reason sex was no longer part of the relationship, would you still want to be with him ? If not, then it is only lust.

 

View sex as light entertainment ....... like reading a book ....... watching a movie ...... having a few drinks.
Forget your bogus Christian 'love' standards.

 

Can't have your cake and eat it too.

 

why does it matter if he's in your life for that short period and not any longer? Does it hurt that he doesn't want a relationship when you are with him? If so, does that hurt more than the pleasure you get out of it? Since you keep going back, I'd imagine the pleasure outweighs the pain.

 

I dont know to tell you the truth its not like we keep in contact as we only speak when we want to hook up. it used to hurt me that he didnt but now i dont really care well I thought I didnt care I enjoy being around him i just wish I could just see him for what it truly is a booty call and leave it at that. the pleasure does outweigh the pain

 

i wish I could see it like that cause I know I dont love him

 

I know if he was to leave I was be sad but as normal get over it. Well if sex wasnt apart I dont think we would still see each other to tell you the truth

 

that is so very true he is giving me the things I long for but I know I want to be loved but I know he wont give it too me. It is messing up my head Im a strong woman but sometimes it gets to me and I wanna walk away but dont

 

if the pleasure outweighs the pain, then there's no need to walk away, unless you are passing up on another fuck buddy relationship where the pleasure to pain ratio is even better.

 

Sex and non-intimacy can make bad bed partners- no pun intended.

from experience, I can tell you that in this arrangement that one ends up in love, and of course pissed off because it is no longer reciprocated.
The other doesn't give a damn.

I have been on both ends of this table. When I was a teen I had an "affair"(?) with a woman 12 or 13 years older than me. She wanted more than an affair, I didn't at the time.
Later I learned from my friends that she did this with them too.

My other deal in this was the opposite. My female friend would go out drinking with her very un-happily married friend. Then her friend always wanted to come see me after the bars
had closed. I would be asleep since I worked day shift, she would come and get me all hot and bothered, then leave. naturally I wasn't happy, but her ego was.

That's why I liked the first one, it boosted my ego. In my opinion this ends up being what we really crave with a sex buddy. It's not our intention, but...

 

You should be glad you are only in this situation for months. I was stuck for years. You grow feelings and habits with someone like a security sex blanket that you know is not godd for you yet have no real reason to throw away

 

I think girl #2 fits my ideal. She just wants an ego boost, I'm just in it for the experience with someone else. Maybe that's my own ego boost? So she leaves happy. I leave happy. Errybody happy.

What you don't want is a FB that's likely to grow feelings for you, so you don't want one of them FB to begin with.

It's like swinging. Ain't no point in doing it or attempting it if your partner isn't willing, you need the right communication and commitment. No different to hooking up with someone for casual sex. Yeah sure one night stand who cares altogether? But a continuous sexual relarionship, best get it out in the open right quick. Like a bandaid! Right off!! Let 'em know, ay, I'm in this for the pussy.

 

Both of my problems started when i was young and continued through my twenties. Think thats why we are supposed to wait till later for sex. The mental consequences are everlasting especially when you are young

 

its just business- hes just a douche bag you want to fuck .u prob u dont want a relationship with him because hes retarded. so your just fuck buddies

 

He's probably got huge muscles though! Women love that!

C/S,
Rev J

 

Oh no way far from it he is more the normal guy with a gut hahaha i like my men with some cushion hahahaha

 

you know what I think I totally agree with you

 

Read some of Undefeateds other posts/threads. Maybe then you'll get the joke.

C/S,
Rev J