i've been in a commited relationship for a year now and me and my boyfriend are in love. ive always had a high sex drive and he was a virgin until me. we have sex on a regular basis, in the beginning of our relationship we would do everything for each other and he would make sure i was as sexually pleased as he was, recently hes slowed down on giving me oral sex, fingering me, even getting me off, in fact it doesnt take him very long to cum anymore but in the beginning he could last for 2-3 hours now he cant even last for more than 20-30 minutes. weve had long talks bout this and he cant explain why hes not pleasing me like he used to but he gets really frustrated and discouraged to the point where he gives up cuz i cant cum anymore (becuz im not used to cumming anymore and i feel unconfident in myself since this whole ordeal began). so now since all of this its kinda put a damper on our sex life totally, weve agreed to not have sex so no one gets disappointed and he can have a chance to "rediscover" me (meaning to freaking start to like to please me again...wtf). im getting really frustrated about this that my sex drive is now suffering. now i pretty much dont want sex until he initaties it (which is rare) can anyone help me out please....whats his deal can something change?
I wish i could help you more, i care how my girlfriend feels, and i did have a bit of a slump but i dont know what fixed it. Do you do any positions where your in controll and doing the work, like cowgirl? no wait, im thinking like the problem is that hes too tired not that he doesnt care. This is a tough one. heres a little advice, dont tiptoe around issues, this doesnt work on many guys, saying what you mean is the only thing that might work, i hate it when my girlfriend tries to reterm stuff so to get what she wants without telling me. Just tell him that hes not giving you enough loving and he doesnt seem to care if you feel good, stay calm and talk about it. It works out well with us when she tells me the truth and i her.
Oh it's rough. I feel like I'm in a simular situation. Except that he's still got sex drive. I dunno, our sex life is different. I never want it nearly as much. I used shove him on the bed three times a day, now he's lucky if it's three times a week. I have a harder time reaching orgasm. I want to try new things. I'd love it if we had sex in different places, but my bf is really shy.
Communication is key to understanding. If two people are having a problem, how can it be solved if those people aretalking about it? If you are talking, you need to talk more. If you are not happy, you aren't going to get there by just waiting for the problem to pass. Sit him down and talk to him, and keep doing it until you come to a settlement. If he isn't patient enough to deal, he doesn't deserve someone as good as you.
