frustrated

why wont he make love to me? he'll fuck me, but he just wont make love to me......

 

hmmm.... can you be a bit more specific? Where does one draw the line between sex and lovemaking?

 

whats the difference in fuckin and making love? A cuddle after? What?

 

no, you have the wrong idea. what i mean to say is this: our sex consists of him pulling his penis out, and me spreading my legs. in--out. done. clean up. he wont touch me in an emotionally sexual way at all. he wont even kiss me on the lips, and definately not with tonge. he says it makes him feel guilty....

 

Honey, he's using you.....
What does he have to feel guilty about?

 

sex before marriage

 

Haha.

 

Let's see: Making love = Guilty, Just sex without even kissing or touching = Not guilty

Well that doesn't make sense at all. Have you talked to him about this? And what exactly is your relationship? Did he say he's in love with you?

 

He gets what he wants out of this even if he really does feel guilty (which I doubt!). But that's not fair to you. If he's that emotionally unattached now, it won't get any better. He needs to change or you need to get out now.

 

i've tried alot of times to talk to him about it. he doesnt get it. we've been together for a little over 2 years, and yes he does claim to be in love with me.

but i mean, its so degrading. like, we can only have sex when he wants to, and when we do have sex, he just lays on top and mushes into me. there's no emotional connection at all when we have sex, and it feels like im just fucking some random guy.

i really feel that he's not giving me what i need. every other aspect of the relationship is ok (we have our ups and downs), but this situation is very consistant. this is the first time in a long time that i've actually worried about our relationship, and i feel guilty that its over something like this, but i mean, a complete stranger could give me more feeling than this guy.

 

its over girl.

tell him to fuck off.

 

Fail. You can't change someone's feelings.

NOW, to the OP: Let me get this straight, he feels guilty for having sex before marriage?

 

What's the situation? How old are you two, and how did you meet?

 

if this is how it is at the two year mark... that this is how it will be forever.
so if ur not happy forget about him, there are many men that will make sweet sweet love with u.

otherwise you will just end up being unhappy and having an affair when ur married, and falling in love with somone else.

 

yep. he's a christian.

 

he's 21, im 20. we met through a friend, stayed friends for a while, then committed to a relationship. i love him, and i know he loves me, i wouldnt want to break up with him over this, because it would hurt us both so much. and it just seems like i would be breaking up with him over sex. is that wrong?

 

keep your legs crossed that will stop him from feelin guilty

 

Gah. Best of luck.

 

ok since u love each other so much, u need to acticly work on this sex thing. u have to teach him how u want him to fuck u. and tell him exactly how much it means to u.

its like if ur girlfriends fat, are u just gonna say nothing? honestly u have to help her out in a nice way to exercise and eat right. cause if ur boyfriend cant tell her, who can? RIGHT

 

You're doing the best you can. What more can you do that express to him in honest terms, how this is affecting you? What you are thinking?

His fear must be very deep rooted. To me, what he is doing, is backwards. If he is in love with you and wants to express that, he should be celebrating with more feeling and love.

It is degrading, you're right. If he won't try to put an effort in at all despite your communication, it might be time to take some sort of a breather. Good luck!