Friend has exhibitionist tendencies at nude beach

Hi, this is my 1st post, but I thought this would be an appropriate place to share my experience. I'm a 33 year old female and have enjoyed going to nude beaches and nudist resorts for several years. Over the last couple years, I have become really good friends with a male co-worker (it's totally platonic). During the early part of our friendship, I had tried to get him to go to the nude beach with me, but he admitted he was too shy and/or nervous to do it. But this summer he finally tagged along and now he's not only into it, but he's gotten to the point where he has exhibitionist tendencies and has in my opinion gone a little bit overboard on some occasions. He's a great friend and an awesome person to hang out with, but his behavior sort of rubs me the wrong way. I'd be happy to go into more details if anyone wishes.
Thanks,
Tina

 

Hi Tina. I don't think it's necessary to go into what your friend is doing. The point is that you find it embarrassing and inappropriate. Tell him that his behavior makes you uncomfortable, and tell him why. If he can't behave himself, you'll have to go without him.

 

It sounds like there is an issue of lack of maturity at play, literally. You need to tell him that a naturist is enjoying the freedom of being nude and the pleasure is NOT sexual, just natural. He may be more at home in a swingers club than at a naturist resort. Let him know you are uncomfortable with his actions and that if he continues, it will damage your personal and professional relationship. You assumed the responsibility to a degree by encouraging him to go nude. Obviously, he went on a course not of your choosing and now must be corrected. Be serious, firm and polite.

 

Oh, he knows I object to it. I've tried the "don't say anything" technique as well as the "in your face" technique to see if he'll stop and neither have any effect. It's something I'm willing to tolerate, as he's a great companion in all other regards.

 

It's affected the type of beaches/resorts we go to, as if we go somewhere together, I prefer places where there aren't many people around. While he does have exhibitionist tendencies, neither of us have ever had anyone raise a complaint. And I might want to add that his exhibitionist tendencies aren't overtly sexual - it's more like he just wants to show himself off and be seen.

 

ever been to red white n blue beach?

 

Yes, when I was living in Northern California, I went there periodically. But the last few times I've been back, I noticed it was closed. It makes me wonder if it would be OK to hike across the fields and access it by going down the cliffs.

 

If someone's behaviour upsets you, tell them. If they persist, perhaps time to end going with him to the beach. The same would apply in a clothed situation.

 

I doubt that, it is private property
I had no idea it was closed
That is one of the most beautiful beaches
Bummer

 

Sorry to hear that! Me and my GF go to nude beaches as often as we can, and have a couple of friends who will go with is... so far nothing like that has happened to us.

 

just talk to him about it, and if needed just dont attend the nude beaches with him

 

It's no longer much of an issue. He and I went to the nude beach last weekend and he's calmed down quite a bit. I don't mind his walking around with an erection, but when he flaunts in front of others - that really bothered me.
~Tina

 

It's very much a matter of degree. By the standards of society at large, anyone who goes to a nude beach is an "exhibitionist". Then on my local beach, it's generally not considered acceptable to walk around with a stiffie, whether you're "flaunting" it or not. But I've found from discussions on this and other boards that some folk don't have a problem with that.

 

Good to see that sense prevailed.

 

Okay, I'm intrigued. What, exactly, do these exhibitionistic tendencies consist of? Judging from your posts, which I love, you're no shrinking violet yourself. If this guy is embarassing you, he must be doing something pretty bad. Is he, God forbid, waving anything stiff in anyone's face?

 

He wasn't quite that bad, but when he'd get hard, he'd go around and socialize like he wouldn't do if he wasn't hard. Because he's shy by nature, I got the sense that he was doing this only to show himself off. But since I first started this thread, he and I have been back to the nude beach and he's much better behaved.

 

That's good to hear. I can't believe he didn't notice the negative feedback his brazenness must have drawn. If anyone with a hard-on tried chatting me or my girlfriend up, I'd give him a dirty look at the very least.

 

I am not sure how you would ask this but why dont you tell him to jerk off before you leave for the beach (or even do it behind a dune while no-one is in the area. It would reduce his 'drive'. I have occasionally done this, (in my early days) as it takes the sexual edge off nudity.

 

Some of my nudist guy friends do this. Personally, I prefer that my guy friends just keep an erection all the time, as I think a man with an erection is a much more delightful sight than a man without one. Just my opinion.

 

I am a man I think indeed a man looks better with an erection also it feels great to have one on a nudist beach. I wouldn't pose around with it well maybe on a quite beach and if I see more men doing it