Freaked out over roughness!

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Danielle, May 27, 2004.

  1. Danielle

    Danielle Member

    The other day my Fiance and i was in the mood we started 4-play as usual and all was good and i asked him to be alittle rough in which he did he slaps my ass and pinches and pulls hair and rough with kissin and stuff this time he slapped my breast kinda just playing and it didnt hurt me but red marks started showing up then welts and he really freaked out instant turn off he couldnt even get hard or any thing after that i think he almost cried cause he thought he really hurt me he said he felt guilty like he abused me even beat me even though it was a bit of a turn on for me. He felt ashamed i tried to reassure him that its what i wanted and he did nothing wrong but he still felt bad....Has this ever happend to any one else?
  2. meishka

    meishka Grease Munky

    not really. i was carefull with my ex cause she was a big cry baby. but now i have a few whips and paddle thingys. it fun being a sadist :)
  3. Spinner

    Spinner Member

    Being sadistic is cool!
    Now if I could only get somebody to be the masochist.
  4. DarkLunacy

    DarkLunacy Senior Member

    Have him try it where you cant get a good view. You really got welts?
  5. monosphere

    monosphere Holly's Hubby

    Some people just don't go for the sadist role. And there's nothing wrong with that. Just be glad that he thinks well enough of you to not want to give you any injuries. There are some guys out there who wouldn't give you that consideration.
  6. Turn the lights off so he can't see the welts.
  7. I'm sure it's happened to other people, but I think the important thing here is knowing that he respects you/cares for you enough that he was afraid he hurt you, and that he was sorry even if you assured him it was fine. I found that really sweet. :) Maybe the shock of it just scared him a bit, but I'm sure if you do some more reassuring [and also over time] he will see that you like it.
  8. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    I am a sub, who likes a bit of pain... Not too far into S&M, but a little bit...

    Anyways, I have found that a lot of guys think they will enjoy the Dom role, but when it comes down to it, the reality is hard to take.

    Men have been taught, in our modern society, that it's wrong to hurt women. And they feel bad when they do. Some guys just aren't wired for it...

    If I were in the position that you are, I would keep reassuring him that you enjoyed it and never ask him to do it, again. I have learned that it is better to give my man blanket permission "To be rough whenever you feel like it, you don't need to ask me, ever, just do it." That way, he can do it at his own pace, if he desires so. He's never as rough as I want him to be, but I don't want to traumatize him. And I think his mental health is more important than me getting my kink on. :)
  9. Jimmie

    Jimmie Member

    its part of all people . do what ever makes you happy .once two people are on the same trip .PEACE LOL.
  10. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    that is more than being a little rough. wanting him to pull your hair is a little much. I am all for just being taken but I thing I would have incredibly hurt feelings if someone pulled my hair. I don't know? I think it is a good thing that he felt bad.
  11. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    Yes actually my ex slapped my ass and dragged his nails down my back while we were doing it doggy and when he saw the blood trickle down from my back he went soft and started to cry cuz he thought that he hurt my. I reassured him that it was a turn on and that the only time it hurts is when i say ow and stop. but he still felt bad so i told him to hit my ass as ahrd as he can so that i can show him how much pain i can take. my ass was black and blue and i did not say ow or stop once. so that kind of made him feel better.
  12. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    That's happened to me a bit too... my ex once squeezed my breasts so hard I had little bruises where the tips of his fingers were, but it was one of the most pleasurable experiences I've had. My current beau isn't quite as rough as I like... I love getting my butt slapped, my hair pulled a little bit (especially in doggy, to pull my head up)... it so turns me on. And I'll let him know when it hurts in a bad way for sure, he just doesn't like going very far in that direction. I certainly wont' force him too, but I wish he would, heh.
  13. psilonaut

    psilonaut Mushroom Muncher

    In the heat of the moment I like a bit of pain. Giving an receiving, but I always feel bad aftwerwards so I always follow up with plenty of cuddling and soft kisses :)
  14. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

    yeah i get bruises a lot but the guys never stay around to notice

    i like my luv marks tho
  15. Aw your fiance is a sweety lol... Guys being rough is sexy and a turn on, but sometimes guys don't like it. Tell him to be rough with you, and then you could be rough with him, this way it is fair lol.
  16. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    I think I just fell in love with you.

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