for you pothead guys, am i doing something wrong?

okay so, there is this one guy that is my pretty good friend. i have been in love with him for about three years now, and i would give anything to just be with him. but i'm really frustrated, because he is not interested in me, at all. we share alot of the same interests. we listen to the same music, do the same drugs, and we have a lot to talk about. i dont understand what i am doing wrong. so for all of you pothead guys out there, that i seem to find myself REALLY attracted to, what do you look for in a girl? i consider myself a huge hippie, pretty smart, a big pothead, and im not all that ugly. i wonder if its just because i'm shy, or maybe he just doesnt want our relationship to be anything more than it is right now? but yeah, i'd love some advice from whoever has it.

peace
erin

 

he probably isn't attracted to you simply because he doesn't feel it. there's nothing you're "doing wrong." people are attracted to who they're attracted to, and they don't know why. you can't help who you like and who you don't like. it has nothing to do with anything you're doing. just be yourself and one day you'll meet someone who is a good match for who you are. asking what you're doing wrong then modifying your behavior just to catch a man is no way to live life...you're only 15, anyway. you have your whole life to worry about dating and guys, so enjoy your freedom now. i am in an amazing relationship with my fiance, but i know that even like 2 years ago i wouldn't have wanted to settle down. now i have met the man of my dreams, my other half, and we are ready to live our lives together forever. you'll date plenty of losers before that happens...hehe...i know i did, and so did he. but like i said, attraction has nothing to do with what you are doing. your pothead guys who you tend to be attracted to could start liking girls who are cheerleaders and listen to shitty pop music and don't do any drugs...life is weird like that. just be yourself and don't worry about it. you're young, dammit enjoy your youth.

*hugs*

amy

p.s. pothead guys who are your age usually don't want to date girls, anyway...they really just want to smoke a bunch of pot. don't worry, they grow out of it...usually. if you're 20 and this same boy is still in his parents' basement getting blazed...RUN! hehehehehe...i'm joking, of course, but i'm also pretty serious too...all my stoner guy friends in high school grew out of it later in life, and the ones who didn't still either live with their parents, or their parents just pay for everything (rent, school, etc...)

 

I started smoking just after I turned 16, and girls were still always the first thing on my mind. Has he told you he isn't interested? Perhaps you're both too shy to show any sign of affection. If that isn't the case, I would guess he likes somebody else, or maybe he finds it hard to think of you as anything other than a friend.

 

I know how you feel, believe me. I am in love with a girl that I used to be with, but she just left me for her ex.I still love her and tell her that everyday. I still do allthe things I did for her before, in the hope that one day she will be back. I plan on waiting as long as it takes. You have two choices here.Before taking either, make sure he knows how you feel about him. If he does, then you can tell him and remind him of it and hope and pray and probably be miserable; the othr choice would be to leave things as they stand. If he knows and isn't interested, then if you are happy being only friends, leave it only at that and don't show any towards him that a friend wouldn't. You will still probably be miserable, but you have to figure out for yourself what to do.

 

I have been smokin bud for as long as I can remember. Potheads don't always think about too many things except pot. Pot is pretty much the main thing on my mine when I get up and until I go to bed. This is probably why my marriage failed, and I am highly anti-social. However, potheads are people too and they do need love. Does he truely know how you feel about him? Perhaps you should find a time when he isn't stoned to talk to him. ( I assume that he smokes a lot of pot, you said pothead. I consider myself a pothead and I smoke pretty much all day long. ) Other than that, I am a pothead, so don't rely on my advice too much.

 

3 years? Damn kid... You were 12... Its a prolonged crush, love is a strong ass word. Anyway... Yeah as said hes probably just not intrested or doesnt like you... you could always ask him, but thats hyper psychotic right?

 

We don't tend to be too picky... guess I like smart, cute girls who don't freak out at pot or eclectic music.

 

Yeah really, why do guys always have to be the one to take the initiative in a relationship? If you want him so bad, then why don't you just ask him how he feels about you.

 

Patchiouli I wish I could find myself a girl that was into good music and smoking, haha I've lost loads of girfriends for being a smoker.

 

Baby Sister? You're TOO young to be worrid about stuff like that. Get your education child! (Good LORD! I've become my Father!)
For Real? Move on! You have better things to do in life! Like, Go to the mall!

 

I agree with Matt. You're 15. You'll meet tons of guys that are into you in your lifetime. Don't sweat this one. Just appreciate him as a friend. You can't make someone like you more than they do.

 

lol, DudeinVegas, I've dated pretty much non-stop since I was 13 and I'm very well educated. It doesn't take much time to pick up a book on a subject and read it for 2 hours every night. A relationship doesn't have to take over all your time, and really, if it does, there's something very creepy and clingy about both of the people involved, with the exception, ofcourse, of maybe the first 2 months where you're obsessed with each other. I don't care how much I love a girl, I can't be with her every minute. This is why marriage fails. That and the fact that it's an out-dated institution. It did well when you got married at 14 and died at 25 or 30. People just weren't meant to be with each other for 40+ years. Any couple who does make it any further than that and are still happy together have the secret that we mere "mortals" shall never have.

Anyway, on to the original poster. If you talk to the guy about your feelings you risk ruining your relationship with him on a plutonic level. If you don't talk to him about it, however, you risk going insane wondering how he feels about you. You have to measure and find which is more important, finding out if he cares the same for you and risking ackwardness or a possible failure of the relationship, or not talk to him about it at all and risk being forced to deal with your own questions of what could have been. Really I don't think anyone on a message board can make this choice for you.

Anyway, I've been smoking since I was 13 and pot has been pretty much my everything since then, but a girl, if one so happens to enter my life by chance and if I love her is on the same level, parallel to, but never exceeding mary jane. That may seem pathetic, but I know where I stand with Marijuana and I know where she'll be when my relationship is over... right there in my droor.

 

I once had to chose between a girl friend of three years, and weed. I sure do miss that girl... ~lmao~