Floating*

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by winston Smiths Diary, Jan 29, 2005.

  1. I floated by on a cloud,

    I saw you there in a crowd,

    I wished I could be with you,

    But as you see, I cant,

    Why?

    I hear you ask me,

    I am the spirit of the day,

    I am always there in every way,

    I long to be on the inside,

    I am sick of being on the outside,

    I look at thee, you dont see me,

    Why?

    If only you could see me,

    If only I could be,

    like you.


    This is one of the first poems I wrote when I was 19, its always been my favourite, Please tell me what you think, even if you dont like it!

    If people like it, I will be pleased to post more of my poetry and storys!
     
  2. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    i'm in a delicate state today meep! :( *cries* anyhoo, that's off my chest...(lol random)

    your poem-i liked very much. it had a kinda light edge to it. i imagined the character as an angel undercover kind of. alone and isolated. hum. wanted to fit in i guess. i liked the shortness of it :D
     
  3. Hey thanks, thats amaizing, thats what I was thinking as I wrote it!
     
  4. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    crumbs! that's tres cool:p
     

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