Discussion in 'Poetry' started by winston Smiths Diary, Jan 29, 2005.

  1. I floated by on a cloud,

    I saw you there in a crowd,

    I wished I could be with you,

    But as you see, I cant,


    I hear you ask me,

    I am the spirit of the day,

    I am always there in every way,

    I long to be on the inside,

    I am sick of being on the outside,

    I look at thee, you dont see me,


    If only you could see me,

    If only I could be,

    like you.

    This is one of the first poems I wrote when I was 19, its always been my favourite, Please tell me what you think, even if you dont like it!

    If people like it, I will be pleased to post more of my poetry and storys!
  2. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    i'm in a delicate state today meep! :( *cries* anyhoo, that's off my chest...(lol random)

    your poem-i liked very much. it had a kinda light edge to it. i imagined the character as an angel undercover kind of. alone and isolated. hum. wanted to fit in i guess. i liked the shortness of it :D
  3. Hey thanks, thats amaizing, thats what I was thinking as I wrote it!
  4. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

    crumbs! that's tres cool:p

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice