So I think I've found her, the next female I so want to express myself with on a sexual endeavour. She's only a couple of months new to my town and she co owns a coffee shop with her husband. They are Italian, good speaking English. I first saw her when I came back from holiday at the new cafe. It's a lot closer to our house than the other shop and with her, the eye candy is just a lot better. I've gotten her year of birth which puts her at about 45/46 years old. Three children, married. I have bought coffee from her every day for two weeks. At first our conversations were general pleasantries, but after the attraction set in with me, I started to get to know her a lot more. She knows I'm with a female and this doesn't phase her, and that feels good. In fact she's quite curious about us. Everything about her ticks my boxes. At heart she still seems 15, I can see she's loving person and has great relationships with her family, almost too close with her children for ive seen nothing like this before but am aware the family in Italian culture means a lot more than it does elsewhere. So after a week and a half a decided to blurt out "oh we only come here to see you." we got an invite to Christmas party for this and we went along earlier this evening. She seemed very enthusiastic when we arrives, hugs, cheek kisses and my favourite flirtatious characteristic, the hand holding. We engaged in conversations but she had a lot of family with her but we periodically checked in with her several times of the course of the evening. Then I asked if she'd like to go out for a couple of quiet drinks. She checked with hubby and came back with good news, we were leaving. At the wine cafe we spoke for a good hour just about ourselves and I made sure I asked lots of questions about her, I made it all about her really. My partner sat with smiles and eagerness to learn more. then that time of the night came, her hubby had phoned and was about to pick her up. She asked us what was on our agenda. My girl quickly rushed up on my side, I assume grinned and winked and then bit me on the cheek. Wifey giggled and muttered something like "yes I think my other half be thinking the same". Well I wasn't going to press the topic, this is married woman I have here, I don't know what to do. Every thing we did according to my past was a signal of interest. The invites, the hand holding, the giggles and winks and then even the acknowledgement that we were all about to go home and have fun with our partners. So I am not quite sure where anyone stands other than I'm becoming increasingly anxious and my loins ache for her. So what's the best way to coerce a married woman and does it sound like I even have a shot? My main fear would be she simply feels chuffed that there's at least one girl in a same sex relationship that admires her. And I'm all fine for the friendship, but it's been feeling like it could be a little more. And I'm nervous.
This is where we differ (apart from you having an innie, me having an outtie ) I dont go near the married ones Not out of respect for marriage or anything, just cos its ewww But I'm sure this one knows what you want by the way you look at her
I would come straight out and ask her if she's ever been with another woman and if she would be interested. Do it very calmly, as if you have those conversations every day. If she doesn't give much of a response, don't push it. If she hasn't indulged her bicuriosity before, she may need some time to think it over. If she says no, change the subject and show no reaction in front of her. If she indicates serious interest, explain that your partner is okay with casual adventures like this, and ask if her husband feels the same. Most guys don't count a lesbian affair as cheating, and many think it's cool and exciting. I haven't seen this woman or read her expressions and body language. When I can do it in person, my success rate in reading these things is around 80%. The key to success is speaking to her in a way that doesn't come across as creepy, weird, pushy, stalkerish, overly romantic, etc. Just the truth. Excessive drama scares people. As a fan of American football, you'll get this analogy: Legendary coach Vince Lombardi used to tell his players, "When you get to the end zone, act like you've been there before."
Karen J has some good advice. You don't want negative energy, do this honestly and pragmatically. Don't leave people in the cold. It's not wise to see heaven through one eye.
Thank you Karen. if anyone was going to reply I was hoping it'd be you. Yes I agree with all that and I am playing it smooth I'm just waiting for the perfect opportunity when I sense it. I don't get why it's so bad to other people though it's just another woman. at least I know where she stands.. married. Which doesn't mean as much as its meant to these days lol and since she's Italian she could be very loyal, but I sense something from this one. And I think her being married is even more attractive to me, that's she's services elsewhere and I might just to have fun. And he seems really nice etc. but I don't know where he stands so yeah I'm going to have to ask her.
Well, like I've said before, he's going to have to be a perfect 10/10 for me to go down that route. And I've never found a 10/10 just yet. Though apart of why I'm going for married women right now is if it can happen, then she's already got a trusting partner to do this with, if I'm enclined to go down that route, then half the work is already done for me. but I'm more than happy if he just watches, away over there somewhere on a chair in the corner. oh yes, he's going to have win me over.
Oh yeah, over the past week I've been really getting ontop of my fantasy wife here and happy to say that over the weekend we were able to have a courtship. I'm really happy about it too, and so is she. So she's had an affair of sorts. "Complicated". Now I said I wasn't pushing anything but she said it was her choice, and that was that. Not going to post details or anything, just it's done now. Just gone go sit in the corner here, wait for the hate mails.
I'm on a highway to the fun zone, she's playing the dangerous game. My miss is fine with me because she gets enjoyment and entertainment too. Anyway she's mid 40s, I'm sure she's old enough to make her own decisions, I was just very proud to be apart of it. What we shared was romantic and beautiful and everything is what I expected. Waiting it out damn near 6 months obviously helped that though. It wasn't just a quick lets do this, there was 6 months of anticipation in both of us. So what we shared was quite deliberate. And I've seen her twice since. So everything is fine between us. Which is the best thing. BTW, we aren't paying for coffee anymore.
Yes I agree with Karen everything should be out in the open. But I think you should at least give it a try or forever be longing and regretting what could have been. Yes she could be a loyal Italian wife, or she could be a vivacious Italian lover with the temptation to be hetero- flexible. She could be in an open relationship when I attended university I had a female teacher that was married, but I went and seen her everyday. She also was married but I couldn't resist her. She was fire and I wanted to be burned. So I tempted fate and she ended up being in a swinger type of relationship so her husband was ok with it. I only found all of the out under the guise of horse-back riding lessons. Until she realized I knew how to ride a horse. Well anyway I am getting off topic I would slowly start hinting and question if she's into swinging or open relations. I wouldn't be forthcoming about I would slip it conversation in here or there. Good Luck
