What is it about new relationships or sex partners, or even just a little crush that makes it fizzle out? What makes us so into someone and crazy about them one minute, and then just sort of over it the next? I've been BOTH the one over it and the one on the receiving end of it who is left confused as to what happened. Anyone have a theory on this? Too much of a good thing? Just curious.
It's just the attitude. Once you've got what you wanted, well then, that's that. You've got it. On to the next is the mentality, really. And over time, if the sexual practices don't grow or change up, the same routine inevitably becomes tiresome and boring, you lose your spark. I think that could happen quicker too, than over time, if there's no progression in that area.
I don't think long term, successful relationships necessarily fizzle out, but they definitely do change. There is less and less mystery over time. My husband said it perfectly the other day, as he was helping me pull a very tight dress over my head. He started laughing very hard and said "This here is the difference between a marriage and a crush. With a crush, you only see the finished product. With a marriage, you see the whole process, from start to finish, and the mystery doesn't really exist anymore." None of that is important, though. If you want a relationship to last long term, without "fizzling out" per say, find someone who you are compatible with sexually, (who you can talk to about the utmost kinky things) and someone who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts.
From my experience it generally has to do with lusting after someone then eventually seeing them as a whole person and not just some hot mysterious crush. Anytime things have fizzled out for me it's because I saw a person the way I wanted to see them at first, then eventually I saw them as how they really are and realized we weren't compatible.
^ yup, pretty much that. they seem great at first when you just see their best side and fill in the blanks with what you want to see, and then you learn all the things about them that aren't so great and it's hard to be so excited about them. or if you're lucky, you learn the other things about them and they are still great. but that's obviously much less common.
To quote the groom at a wedding I was at recently, as he was speaking to his bride: "You love my faults. You love my faults so hard and whole heartedly" So yeah. I'm not saying if a man beats you up or treats you like shit that you should love him anyways. But no one is perfect, and maybe the imperfections are really what make a person beautiful and worth loving with all of your heart.
Lust is when you are attracted to the body - the package. Both parties have un, but there is nothing really emotional happening. You pick up your tent and move on. 1 Nite stands are the perfect example.
I'd say the fizzling out is pretty normal tbh! Example?My sister is currently married and also having an affair.She is in the final stages of ending her marriage of 36 yrs.She's met this guy who is 12 years younger,never been married,and can do no wrong in her eyes.He's telling her exactly what she wants to hear....."I'll run a bath for you after you've been at work,with candles blah blah blah"Yeah and how long does she think that level of attention will last?Her sex life with her husband ended years ago,and of course with her new beau they're at it like rabbits!Thats not going to last though.Sooner of later......it wanes off.The thing is though,things dont always stay the same,and the sooner people realise this,they'll probably be happier.You could keep moving on to the next person,then the next and guess what?It becomes the same old story.Same book just a different chapter. If you need to enhance your sex life with extra partners,watching porn,taking drugs,whatever....the problem is'nt with sex itself,its your attitude and expectations that need looking at more closely. When I was younger,I dated alot of guys.I used to think sex was one of the most important aspects of a relationship.Now older (and wiser )I know other aspects are way more important.Mutual respect,shared interests (Other than sex!!),spending quality time together.Sex is still fairly important but its not the highlight of our lives.
