First Time Having Sex.....And I'm Scared...

I'm a senior in high school, and have been in a relationship with this girl who's a sophomore. We love each other, very much so. Please, don't doubt me when I say that just because I'm "young" or something. We are both mature past our years.

Anyway, we have admitted to each other we want to have sex. We've tried to make plans before, but each time they fell through for some reason or another. This time, though, they aren't going to fall through. We've worked it out perfectly to where we can have an entire night alone without anyone asking questions. But...you see.....even though she's younger than me by a year and a half, she's been with guys and girls, had sex with both genders, and knows way more about this than I do. I'm still a virgin, but....I want her to be my first. Of this, I am absolutely positive. I dunno why, I just know.

I'm scared...well, scared isn't the word. But....I can't think of a word for it. She likes to run things by me before doing thing (she says she respects me too much to risk doing something I don't like), and she's ran her idea for the entire night by me. It sounded....amazing. But, she'd be the one doing everything. Which, I'm perfectly fine with, I'm more submissive and she's more dominant. But....what should I expect? I know it's probably going to hurt...penetration, I mean. Fingering and oral sex have me....concerned. I've never had the need to shave everything down there, but should I? How bad does being penetrated for the first time hurt? I mean, I like pain (yes, both of us are sorta kinky when it comes right down to it), but I've heard it hurts really bad...

Just, what should I expect? Please be kind. I just....I want to make this experience awesome for the both of us. And I don't want it to be screwed up simply because this is my first time ever doing anything like this. I'm excited, but I want it to be amazing for us both. Please help?

 

To be honest, the first time I had sex, I didn't bleed or 'get hurt'.. I must have either been born with no hymen or broke it somewhere else along the line doing something else, so I can't really answer that question for you, though I'm sure there are ladies here who can.

Also, sex shouldn't really be 'planned'.. that's just my opinion though.

But don't be so nervous! Everybody has sex for the first time. If she's respectful of you and knows the ropes a bit more than you do, then she should have no problem working it out with you and showing you a bit around. You'll be okay!

As for shaving, just ask her what she likes. Personally, I prefer my women to be trimmed and my men to be just a bit trimmed, so it's all down to what you favor personally.

 

When someone says that; it means they aren't quite as mature as they think.
When someone hears that; they roll their eyes without fail.
Just a tip.

Some people like shaved, some people don't. It might be better to ask her if you don't have a preference for how to keep it.
Either way, trimming it will probably make you feel sexier and will most probably be appreciated.

Your mental state has a lot to do with how much pain you feel down there. Relaxing will definitely help; music can be really great to help relax, but I'm sure she'll do her best to get you feeling good.

But everyone has a different experience when it comes to that - some girls have used tampons, masturbated enough, or are plastered enough that they feel little to no pain or discomfort.

 

If you have a bad time it's her fault, not yours! (; An experienced lover should know how to make their partner feel comfortable if they know it's your first time. Just know that there may be some sounds, smells, or feelings that you're not used to - but none of it will be out of the ordinary. Remember that sex (penetration or no penetration) is a sweaty, wet, primal thing - it's not clean or proper like in the movies by any means. If it's bad - you just gotta keep on practicing!

I agree with duck about the music - it really does help.

 

It's not that it's planned, but, well, she's open about being lesbian. I, on the other hand, come from a religious family who just found out about me and her, and that was by accident. So, anything we do has to planned to some extent, what with actually getting time alone.

Tampons have always freaked me out, so I've never used them. Which is one reason I'm mildly scared (still not the right word). Nothing has ever been inside me. Not saying I don't want her to be my first, because I really do, but it's still sort of...unnerving? Something like that.

As for the immaturity comment, yeah, I know. But, it's become routine almost. Adults, at least where I live, look down on teenage love. We're told you don't fall in love, but you choose to love. And that all relationships in high school are pointless. So, that was just my defensive side coming out.

 

Plans don't work. Plans never work! Planning sex just creates awkward tensions between the two. Let it come naturally. Or just do it. Right now. Go on. ... Gooo ooonnn.

 

I only ever run into ageism on here, and it's always hippies, which is ridiculously ironic. Must suck.



I really would recommend to you that you should expect pain, but keep an open mind as to how much or little.
Worrying about it too much is just going to make it worse; and remember, if it is too uncomfortable, you can always have her stop and try again once you calm down some, or she gets you more riled up

 

i really want do my first time sex..hehehehehe

 

GamingGal, perhaps slow down a tiny bit and only make plans to enjoy each other's company that night that you will have to yourselves. There are so many ways -- hold each other, snuggle, be naked, whatever feels good. You are nervous, especially about possible pain of penetration. I would suggest, maybe don't do that now? Unless things naturally develop so. I always slap my partner if they touch me before I'm sufficiently aroused Because if you're not, it tends to hurt more than give you pleasure. Take it slow - painfully slow - the good pain way.

I'm sure you know but sex doesn't equal 'penetration'. I don't really like to get anything in there, it just doesn't do much for me. Don't overemphasize the penetration aspect in your head I mean, maybe I'm missing something but that's what attracts me about lesbian love making in the first place. Hope it's not too much info here but I pretty much only come when there specifically isn't anything in me at all.

First and foremost, COMMUNICATE with your girlfriend openly while with her intimately <3 She'll appreciate it a whole lot most likely. My 2c.

 

Planning sex is never a good idea. Though, I realize it can be tough when you're in high school.

It's also not a good idea to expect one person to do all the "work" just because they have more experience.

It seems like you and your girl communicate well enough that you should be able to bring up the subject of shaving with her.

This is the part that concerns me the most about your situation. You mean to tell me that as a senior in high school you have not explored yourself down there? Never masturbated or anything? If that is the case, doing everything and anything in one night is not going to be appropriate for you. Start slow. In fact, you should play around with yourself first so you're not so scared and distracted. It really doesn't hurt that much if you are aroused properly.

It seems like you are putting waaaaayyyyy too much pressure on yourself to get things right. The thing is with sex, sometimes things go wrong and are painfully awkward.

Don't go too fast!

 

Hun, I know what you mean by being certain that you want her to be the first. You prolly should shave though, or ask her what she'd be more comfortable with. After all, sex is a sharing experience. I planned out my first time with the man I have loved since I was 13. 5 Years later, he took my virginity. I always knew he'd be the one, I just always knew. Good luck!!

 

I figure I'm a little late in posting, but I figure I might as well post something for the sake of those who are reading this thread to get an answer the same question.

I had never used a tampon or even masturbated before my first time. I actually wasn't capable of getting myself to put anything into my vagina until after my first time. Everyone tends to say that your first time hurts, but it's important to remember that most peoples' first times were with men. I don't have personal experience with penises, but I know that they are wider than a finger. This I think is one of the bonuses to loosing your virginity to a woman: you can start small, and work your way up.

Even though I'm a tiny person who had a tiny vagina that had never been touched by anything, my first time was completely painless. I think the thing that allowed it to be so was that the situation felt completely right. If you are worried about pain, if you aren't comfortable enough with your partner, if your heart isn't in it, if you feel shameful, if you're paranoid about someone walking in, or if your in any sort of emotional state where you're not allowing yourself to be fully aroused, I assume it will probably hurt. But if you really truly want it, it will be fine. Even if it does hurt, it's been my experience that when pain does occur during sex, if you are aroused enough, it really doesn't matter.

Of course, the reason I didn't experience any pain could also be because I've been a fairly avid cyclist since an early age, and so my hymen could very well have been torn well before I even knew what a hymen was. I also may not have had a hymen to begin with, which is something that happens in some women. But even so, I don't think the experience will be so painful that it will tarnish the experience, unless you happen to have a very big hymen. In my opinion, the most enjoyable and stimulating sex is actually the sex that involves some amount of pain.

 

Penetration didn't hurt for me the first time, I felt so lucky haha.

I wish I had a girl like you though -.-

 

I'll admit right now. I have no idea what anyone else in here has said because i don't have the attention span for it.

My first time, was on my birthday and we were interrupted by my best friend. Luckily she knocked first. Actually, it was more of an introduction than a first time. After that, she pretty much knew i wanted to be with her and she accepted my introduction. Neither one of us had ever been with another girl physically and she had pretty much just come out.

What I have to say is, stop worrying about whether it is perfect or not. My ex and i were in love from the moment we met. She knew what she liked but i didn't. We were all over the place just trying. And we tried as much as possible. So don't worry about things going wrong the first time or not umm... getting it done. When she broke my hymen i only felt a slight pain but i didn't realize it was because she broke it. When i broke hers, she didn't feel a thing. And both were bloody times. But it didn't happen the first time.

Sorry.