Finding out you have sister / brother you never knew about before

What would you do if you were told you have another brother / sister that was kept secret from you by your parents or someone else & you given the chance to met them?
Has it happened to you & how did you react & did you met them?

 

Well I have a brother and a sister I have never met. I had to agree not to contact them. I was shown a photograph of them when I was told of this information. Strange as may seem I have never wanted to see them, but I feel I have come across my brother by accident. This was when I was living for a short time in the town where my mother lived (I have only met my mother once and after this). I was on my way to the bus terminal to catch a bus back to Wellington walking a long the footpath and I came across someone walking towards me (not unusual). As we got closer I started to think you look familiar, then it dawned on me that I was looking at myself and crossed the road. What I should have said who are you. He was slightly younger than me. How's that for a weird experience.

 

I was 17 when I found out I was adopted and that I had another sister (a total of four and no brothers), for the first year or so I was in denial, I eventually accepted it and the reasons why I was adopted.

But the knowledge that I had another sister, a twin no less, was to me shocking like I said I was in denial also I went a little moody and grumpy. But during my denial faze I hurt my twin sister. So the moral of the story don't get angry look into the reasons why you had a secret sibling then pass a informed and well thought out judgement. My twin sister is my best friend now but I will always have this guilt that I hurt her in my denial faze.

Thanks

Mark

 

My brother fell out of my mother's skeleton closet last year.
He's a few years older than me. (44ish?)
It was weird finding out but not really shocking.
We get a long really well.

 

With families as shattered as they are in modern society, and 30% of children being born out-of-wedlock (70% of black kids) it's not unusual (any more) for family situations to be TOTALLY fxxked up. Siblings nobody knows about, kids by another mother, complete families and half-siblings nobody knew about, it's a total clusterfxxk. Don't feel bad. Society is coming apart like a cheap suit because of people's lack of good judgment and the moral fabric of society just being in tatters. How more screwed up can things get, I wonder? And I'm as bad as anybody else, I'm not saying I am any better. My life is a shambles disaster too. All we can do is try to be better.

 

I think honesty with the children as early (& naturally, very carefully & gently) as possible, so there are no bombshells later in their lives saves a lot of confusion, & it's old news, not shocking new scandal for the adults concerned. It's not a crime to have a child with more than one person, just a bit untidy maybe.. many adults feel they'll lose control with their children if they don't present a squeaky clean history, but children don't judge you if they grow up without being judged..

 

Easy to say, but people's behavior DOES MATTER, and it is especially important if their poor decisions negatively affect others, such as a parent that cheats or has kids nobody knows about, etc. People in a position of responsibility (like parents, or bankers, or judges, or CEO's) have a MORAL RESPONSIBILITY to behave properly. We can't just say, "Oh, he destroyed his marriage and divorced his wife and left fatherless children all over the state, but don't judge him." People's behavior MATTERS. Their carelessness and irresponsibility hurts other people. This is something I know quite a bit about, both as the victim of other people's reckless behavior and also contemplating my own reckless and irresponsible behavior. Life has rules. If we break them, somebody gets hurt.

 

Not long ago, my father told me he had an affair while my mother was pregnant with me and that woman had a son who was my age. He thought that son could be his.

I didn't say much, but I didn't like it. It hurt me. The thing that hurt me was the lack of empathy from the part of my father. Towards my mother, at the time, and towards myself, now.

If the man is really my half brother, I don't care. I don't need to know him. If we ever meet, I'll treat him well, like any stranger I meet. Whatever happened, it's not his fault, but I won't love him due to some genetic thing.

The only people I feel obliged to love are my parents.

 

I found out I have another sister, but then when talking with my dad's side I found out I have a major shit load of half brothers & sisters. I'm like "DAMN!"