Females perspective desired...

Discussion in 'True Love' started by shewillbloved, Jun 3, 2006.

  1. shewillbloved

    shewillbloved Member

    O what a beautiful place to come to for personal dilemma's. Funny how I somehow value the opinions of people I've never met and share my thought to them, rather than going to a close individual. That said, here is my issue.

    I've maintained a strong and very close friendship/relationship with this woman I love for the last 7 years. We met at 18 had a short relationship that was killed by distance and young age. Kept in touch repeatedly over the years seeing each other from time to time, recently have been spending a great deal of time visiting one another, Peru, Mexico, Chicago, every chance we've been able for the last 2 months. Needless to say, we've become closer than ever and have talked of things such as marriage, children, etc. I lost touch with her for a few years while she had a serious boyfriend of 3 years, he did not permit her to speak to me. That relationship has since ended with him but she still admits she is still in love with him, 3 months have passed since the breakup. Shes told me from the very beginning that she can not make a true commitment with me until she can honestly say she is not in love with him anymore. They havent seen each other in months but she will see him briefly next weekend, and has said he has aspirations to get back together. I feel very strongly about this girl and am thinking the best thing to do is to let her see where her heart lies and if its true, she will return. But on the contrary, how do I just sit back as my stomach eats itself away?

    Anyone been on either side of this situation?
  2. TheMechanic

    TheMechanic The chicken LUVER!

    I am not female, HOWEVER...

    Unfortunately, I have been on both sides, and no matter what you feel, the others persons feelings need to come before your own... If it is meant to be fate will make sure you are with her in the end... do NOT tell her she cant see him, and merely remind her, that friendship especially one as important as what you two share should never be stifled...

    I guess what I am trying to tell you, is try and show her what her ex did before, and that it was NOT his decision to make, thst she is her own person, and that anyone who tries to take away those liberties really does not LOVE the other person...

    I was the selfish PRICK in one of those relationships... and it ended up biting me in the ass... tolerance, and self-control will be your best bet in these tough times.. good luck!
  3. denimstar

    denimstar edge of darkness

    She needs to see this past BF & when she does may wonder to herself "what did I ever see in him"? It has to be over for her to move on. I wish you luck.
  4. Anastazija

    Anastazija Member

    You have to wait. She told you - she want to be honest with you and you should apriciate that! You can only wait and see what will happen. Good luck dude
  5. shewillbloved

    shewillbloved Member

    Beautiful advice, that really is the truth, thanks everyone.
  6. harshhookah

    harshhookah Member

    Go get that shit! 7 Long years you have been aspiring to be with her? Who else has done such? Don't sit back and let someone take your lost love away. Suprise her by showing up and tell her how bad you really want her. Then ask for a chance to prove yourself before she hooks up with mr x. Id venture to say most women want the man to come to them anyways.
  7. dances in pajamas

    dances in pajamas strange little girl

    Tell her how you genuinely feel. Face to face. Try to make her understand how long you've cared for her and what she means to you. And the whole "doesn't permit her to speak to you" thing? Bullshit. That's a big issue and a red flag. If her ex is that protective and controlling, I don't think his love for her is anything like yours.
  8. shewillbloved

    shewillbloved Member

    Shes well aware of how long I've card for her and my feelings and I'm well aware she loves me. I feel everything will work itself out in the end, if shes meant to be with me, she willl be. I think it is just hard for her to completely let go, 3 years is 3 years, living together, blah blah.....but she said it herself, the love she had for him was a crazy one, one that did not bring her peace. And that my friends is one of the best reasons to love someone.
  9. sniffmagikmarkrs

    sniffmagikmarkrs Senior Member

    well i had broken up with a boyfriend of 2 years that i loved very very much....3 months later, this wonderful new guy comes along. I start dating him and then i realize that i'm dating him for the wrong reason. The relationship was doomed from the start because i was dating him in hopes i would forget about my other relationship. the guy was amazing, but i just couldn't be with him because i wasn't ready. I think you need to give the girl the time she needs to get over this guy, trust me, when she's over him, it will be worth it

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