here are two more new poem...ive broken my writers block . well all comments and critiques are welcomed. A GOOD CHANGE I let my content kill the darkness held within the depths of my soul, leaving it pure as the new fallen snow. Starting as a small speck of light and happiness, it spreads consuming all I believe to be real making my heart to beat to a different rhythm of speed and sound. The soul I now possess contains both happy and sad, contradicting one another to make a beautiful connection that cannot be described by mere words. BE MY ESCAPE Take my hand and lead me to a place I've never seen, a place of beauty and passion, with our love poured upon these silk sheets. Take me to the moon and beyond, where we can run and dance upon the stars, with our souls poured onthe these planets. It doesnt matter where you take me. You are always the escape artist of my reality, making my mind slip, fast and hard my thoughts crash and nothing but me and you matters. You are the escape of reality.
Nice. I like the first two lines of " A Good Change" they speak volumes. Something about the words "mere" and "mortal" at the end though, you could say those words actually go together too well because they end up being together so often that just putting them together produces a slight sense of triteness. It's kind of like "fire" and "desire". That's an easy mistake to make for someone your age though because you haven't been exposed yet to enough stuff to know what's too done. If you need to, I think you could just drop the word "mortal" and not really lose content. Just thoughts.
