This is an essay that I wrote, not quite poetry, but still Id like to share... Fantasy Love "Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." -Andy Warhol I found this quote, and it made me kind of sad……….is this true? Is it like Mikey said, that the reason I enjoy phone sex so much (even more so then the real thing) is because it is just a fantasy? Perhaps because the fantasy doesn’t get a chance to be awkward or unfulfilling………and if it did I would become disinterested….hmm, it’s definitely food for thought. If this is true, then I can understand why Mikey once said that maybe I would be disappointed if anything ever did actually happen between us……Or why he never let me lose it to him, but I am sure that there are exceptions in his theory of it never working out with the person that you lose it too. When, Much to my unbelief I actually did get a chance with him, it really wasn’t a disappointment at all………yes, there was a lot more that we could have done (and it was me who stopped it…..for unrelated reasons) but, I enjoyed everything that we did, it was really comfortable and familiar……….and I believe this was due to all the prior phone sex conversations. They really let us get to know each other………Now, I am sure this wouldn’t happen with just any phone sex line, or client. The element of friendship was always there, and that was what made it special.-(Perhaps proving my theory of how making love to a friend would be better then in the constraints of a relationship.) Phone sex for me has not only been a way to learn about people, but also for me to learn about myself. Not only through fantasy, but also conversations, I have opened myself up on a level that I find it hard to attain in person. These “people” have gotten to touch my inner most recesses, to know my every intimate thought……to know the “real” me and to experience me (in a way, that most people can’t) This may or may not discredit Mr. Warhol’s Quote…….. I tend to believe that through fantasy –reality can be better, and more fulfilling, I have had the fantasy first-them the meeting after and I find this works wonderfully. So in essence these very special men in my life brought out the best in me-and in return....I gave to them..... the best of myself. A.Milan 10/10/2004
Here is another..... “Free Love” “The idealistic concept embraced by the hippies that Love needn't be bound by convention. People are free to love whomever they please, whenever they please, wherever they please, without attachment or commitment. This was practiced by many hippies and helped spawn the Women's and Gay Liberation Movements.” This concept has been on my mind over the past couple of days since a conversation on astral projection and cheating while on another plane of consciousness ……….. Personally I do not consider it cheating if you are not in your physical body. (Perhaps I would have prior, but I have been giving such ideas quite a bit of thought lately.) Further more I have been pondering if falling in love with more then one person at a time would take away from the love that you feel for the first person. I do not believe that it would, for as no two people are the same-no two loves are the same either. Love is truly the most incredible emotion in the world, with an infinite number of forms………completely and totally immeasurable, but yet ever present. I can say that I try to genuinely love all people on some level………even if it ends up having me more confused then not. I am open to love-and all the drama that sometimes follows, however I believe that love should be an unrestrained, unrestricted, free flowing, ever changing bond between people-be it friends or lovers. With this insight, I tend to believe that in some situations, maybe things would work far better in life if people stayed great friends, loved and supported each other, took care of each other, yet did not limit their love to one person. I can’t help but wonder if an open love would be more lasting. I would rather have someone stay in my life long term because they want to be a part of it, then because of a vow taken, and I would rather have a mutual understanding then a piece of paper saying that someone is now my property. With the divorce rate on the incline, I sometimes think that perhaps the thought of marriage has become an outdated idea (although I would like to be married some day) I also wonder if people just don’t put enough importance on the bonds of marriage……… but yet I also wonder if it is the loss of options that make such a high percentage of marriages end. However while the thought of marriage can be frightening sometimes, the thought of being alone seems far worse to me. Sex…..sex is just the icing on the cake-really great, but not always necessary. 10/7/04 ~A.Milan~
