family members driving me insine

Hey everyone,


I have been off the site for a while, just got too busy with life, but today am back, feeling so low, and this is the only place I feel I can turn to.
We are having problems here at home, and I really do not know what to do. My family moved out to BC a few years back. During this time, extended family came to visit us – and eventually, 2 of our nephews decided to come out and join us. I was so stoked when I first found out they are coming, as we missed having family around. They have been living here for 3 months now, and I think I am ready to move away. They are at our place all the time, and I have not had a moment with my family since. Here is my situation.
They do love us so much, and came here to be with us. They always are cool to us, but they have some traits that are just driving me nuts.
First off, they do not understand that everyone has a life, they show up here, band on the door anytime they want. They then come in, and stay till were passing out tired on the couch. They only seem to “talk” they do not listen, nor do we seem to connect at all. It’s always about their life, their plans, what they are doing, and if we try to say anything – i.e. we were having a discussion about my dad passing away – they sat there, said ‘yea yea, then started talking about their weekend plans”. These guys are just somewhere else.
To add to the above, these kids are – racist, thoughtless, and rude to people. They will make racist comments in public till my face is red, they are rude to people – we set them up with our mechanics, took them to our favorite restaurants, and found that they now caused fights with the people we knew from these places. They are so snobby with people – and they are always talking about inappropriate things with our kids…. (i.e. joking around about drugs, and things –with kids who are way too young for this stuff).
I know normally we would talk to people like this – but talking to these guys – we just hit wall. I’m ready to move away…
Anyhow, thanks guys, just venting… have any of you had to deal with a family member that – let’s just say – loves you, and in return, you can’t stand them anymore?

 

Sounds like part of the problem is communication and assertiveness on your part. You have a right to express what you think and feel. I think it's a mistake to just get resentful and not say anything.

You can put your foot down about how they behave, and how long they are welcome to stay with you. You're probably used to being very polite with family members, but you have to be willing to change your behaviors and stand up for yourself if you don't want this to continue.

If you don't feel comfortable confronting them face-to-face, you could try writing a letter.

hope that this all works out!

 

You are correct but also at the same time incorrect. They sound like very prideful arrogant people, they would probably laugh at him. I certainly wouldnt go that route, the outcome could be exponentially WORSE, You honestly need to just gtfo or deal with it, sorry i feel sorry for you man. You cant reason with people like that, i have family like that trust me i know, they wont change for you.

 

Ah family, can't live with em', can't kill em' and feed them to pigs and sell the pigs at a local market...