Familial Issues

Discussion in 'All in the Family' started by Ziggy Azura, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. Ziggy Azura

    Ziggy Azura Member

    So I decided to turn to the people that understand me, Hippies like you and I.

    So here's the problem. I am currently 17, 18 in 4 months or so, so I live with my parents. They, being the epitome of consumerism, expect me to live life in their footsteps and go to an ivy league college to become a doctor or lawyer. They want me to have a job that consumes my life so I can have lots of MONEY so I can buy lots of THINGS to make me HAPPY.

    I am living in that life with them. I dont like it. Personally I like a spiritual, peaceful, free, simple life over the consumer, chaotic, complex that society expects you to follow. I plan to go to liberal arts school and see where life takes me from there. My parents are not taking my decisions too well. They discriminate me against my spiritualism and life style choices. They take, not material possessions, but my freedom to go to my favorite coffee shop or play my Guitar, Didgeridoo, and Djembe. They have even threatened to cut my hair.

    I dont know what to do. They have restricted my rights like a boa constrictor choking its prey. I wish to live a free and peaceful life but I dont even get to meditate in my current living conditions.

    PS. Can't move out because I dont have my greencard and cant make money to rent. Also I dont have the cash to move back to Canada.

    Suggestions on how to deal with my parents? I just want the ability to do things I want. Should I wait till I move out and just express myself at school and suppress it at home? Should I rebel and express my beliefs? Help?
  2. freeinalaska

    freeinalaska Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Not much you can do. You aren't going to change your parents. The best thing you can do is be true to yourself. You don't have much more time until you can make your own life descisions and when that time comes I suggest you move on. While they might be wrapped in consumerism they probably want what's best for you, it's just their view differs so greatly from yours.

    That's probably not much help, but I've been there too, many years ago.
  3. raz5

    raz5 زینب

    if your parents are very strict, i think that since you are going to be eighteen in a few months you should wait and try and explain to them you don't like the life they live and you are happy with less materialistic things; especially because they threaten you with things like going to a coffee shop and how you look. if you do say something to them now, it's against the law for them to kick you out and you could always rebel if they say you can't do this you have to do this blahblah.
    see, i'm 17 also but my parents respect my choices with things. my father is a well established guy, has been through a lot, and my mother was a hippie and understands what i like to an extent. it took me a while to get them to accept my life, but explaining things to them and them noticing what makes me happy makes them happy.
  4. Wiseman

    Wiseman Senior Member

    Yeah, I'm in a position a lot like yours. I think you may just kinda have to suck it up and deal with it. That's what I've accepted. I mean, there's no use in doing something that you'll really regret now, seeing as you're almost out on your own now. Just wait it out, and that's the best I can give you. Sorry :/
  5. Ziggy Azura

    Ziggy Azura Member

    The sad thing is that all I can do is wait it out or get kicked out.
  6. Wiseman

    Wiseman Senior Member

    Yeah, I know. I'm in the exact same position as you. Just keep practicing your instruments so when you get out, you have something to impress the ladies with ;)
  7. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    I feel you, Ziggy. I grew up with controlling parents too. I hate to say it, but sometimes you're just powerless and you just have to wait it out. Chin up, life gets better at some point even if it's down the road a bit. Just don't let them kill your spirit.
  8. Ziggy Azura

    Ziggy Azura Member

    Thanks you guys :)
    Your support means alot.
  9. Wiseman

    Wiseman Senior Member

    Yup, and if you ever need anyone to talk to, hit me up. I'm here for you all :)
  10. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    I think you should stop whining.
    You complain that your parents are too strict and controlling. Are they putting a roof over your head? Food in your stomach? Clothes on your back? I assume the answer is yes, since you don't have a job....Their house, their rules.
    Bitching isn't helping your situation in the least. Your parents want a good life for you....or what they feel would be a good life for you. If they didn't act that way, you would have to worry....
    Just deal, or get out. Don't you have friends? You can't live with them?
  11. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    Sometimes parents are wrong. No one said evil, just wrong.
    I'm curious Moon FLower: What were your parents like?
  12. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    I don't really see where that is your business. Or, where it pertains to this thread. Thanks. :)
    My opinion stands.
  13. Therese Aline

    Therese Aline Slave to the man

    I didn't mean to insult you, was just asking because you seem like someone that had good parents, which means you may not relate. Yes, they feed him. But they punish him for things that aren't wrong, and with methods that hurt instead of teach. That seems to be what they're going for here: low blows that manipulate him into submission, instead of actively trying to teach him something, which is what punishment is for. A child should feel protected by their parents, not trapped. He feels trapped, I'd say that means there's a problem.
  14. freeinalaska

    freeinalaska Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    In general I agree, but I do know that almost all teens feel maybe not trapped, but at least restricted and repressed by their parents at some point. Almost all kids at the cusp of becoming adults feel that they should have all the freedom to do an act as they please. Of course many parents have trouble letting go, but I feel most teens think that they are much older, mature and responsible than they are.

    Of course many parents try to dictate who their kids become, but even if you give them the freedom to be themselves there is always some issue that leaves them felling cheated and repressed.

    I have four kids that are between the ages on 17 and 22 and, even though I made it a point to let them all become themselves and not what I wanted them to be, they all have felt cheated in some way, at some point by us parents. It's alway something.....they weren't allowed to go to somewhere...the weren't provided with cell phones...their hippie ass dad embarrassed them by picking them up from the 7th grade dance in his beat up, dead sticker covered truck. Whatever.

    Bottom line is that parents are all somewhat controlling because that's their job and many parents go overboard by trying to control a kids beliefs and philosophies, or by not letting go soon enough. But I gotta admit, also, that teenagers can be real pain in the ass whiners.
  15. Ziggy Azura

    Ziggy Azura Member

    I'm sorry if I came off as a whiner. I usually am not. I also am not saying that their capitalistic, consumerist, social darwinian ways are wrong. They work for them. All I was saying is that they try to make me more like them, conformity instead of individuality. I'm just not a fan of that.
  16. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    Meh....feeling trapped is something all 17-18 years old feel. You want out, but can't get out....blah, blah, blah.
    You can't support yourself, which probably makes them feel you're not responsible. You don't need a green card to do odd jobs. ;)
    Maybe if you contributed, or at least took some responsibility for yourself, they may chill out.
    I'm sure you ag it on. As do most angsty teens. So, chill, they'll chill. If not, you'll be in for more 'mistreatment'.
  17. Humminbird

    Humminbird Member

    Speaking of jobs... maybe that coffee shop you like so much needs help! Maybe too that would get you to Canada or get you that liberal arts degree you want.

    Don't bite the hand that feeds ya man! Learn to deal with it best ya can. It's called GROWING UP. :D
  18. Sprout420

    Sprout420 Member

    so because a person provides you with money they should control your life and your very person. that sounds a little skewed to me
  19. Quite

    Quite Member

    Yes, well, you too will be part of our capitalist society in the near future. I can see that you haven't the courage to leave your home and establish a commune of sorts in the jungle, as your Hippie ancestors would have.

    The Queen wouldnt allow such an abuse of the freedom she allows you to occur, in any case.
  20. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    I take it you haven't heard that saying "Don't bite the hand that feeds you"?;)

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