falling in love the right way (for me)

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by solargarlic, Jan 19, 2005.

  1. solargarlic

    solargarlic Member

    This is a long post, but I'm sure some of you romantics will read it. I'm just being open...

    I'm seventeen years old and have had a handful of serious relationships throughout high school. I first "fell in love" my freshman year and dated that girl for about ten months. At the time, I really thought it was the real thing, but looking back, we were just young and fragile. After that relationship, I had a couple more where I thought I was in love. I had been put in a state of mind where all serious relationships were the real deal. In time, they all ended, mostly in the same way. Two of the three relationships I speak of ended because of sex. I was young and we felt it was the best way to express ourselves. Eventually, the sex became polluted. As our relationships dwindled, sex became a tool to keep us going. Our love was clearly fading, yet we still had sex to somehow save that loss. I feel bad grouping the two relationships together, but I want to get to my point. Up until now, I feel I have gone about love in the wrong way. I let sex become a tool and ruin the beauty of our emotions. I have always moved too quickly in a sexual manner, causing me to miss the real meaning of my and my partner's love. About five months after my last relationship, I met a girl at a concert that revived the feeling I get in my gut when I'm around a special girl. I found out that she was a year older than me and would be going to school 2 hours away in the fall. We exchanged numbers and the next day I left for Coventry. I experienced car trouble on my way home from the festival and missed seeing her again before she went to school. Normally, I would just forget about it, but this girl gave me the butterflies like no one else. So I pursued. I talked to her a lot through e-mail and found out she was like me in more ways than not. We learned a lot about each other while she was at school and my excitement grew. I soon found out though that she had a boyfriend. Not just a regular boyfriend, but one she had been dating for about a year and was really into. I was obviously bummed, but really dug the conversations we were having so I hung in there as a friend. Months went by, we saw each other every now and then, and had great times together. It all seemed like a healthy friendship and I really enjoyed that. I really connected with this girl and she made me feel great. I kept seeing her when I could and the friend thing kept going until about two nights ago. I was over at her house watching a few movies. When we were in the car going to rent, she casually mentioned her boyfriend Kevin as her ex-boyfriend Kevin. I didn't say anything unusual in response, but my heart jumped. I had really forgotten about her as a significant other because of her relationship and was simply digging our friendship. This news, though, made me feel great (sorry kevin). We went back to her house and finished up some movies. As I was leaving, she walked me out to my car because her mom was watching us inside. I hugged her goodbye and soonafter, we locked lips. Before reaaally kissing her, I clarified that Kevin wasn't her boyfriend to make sure it was all cool. Let me tell you, it was the most amazing kiss of my life. This was a situation where one of my dreams actually came true and I couldn't have picked a better dream. We made plans for her to come to my hockey game (which was tonight) and that would be the last time I'd see her before she goes back to school. We rode to the game together with my little sister in the car. She hung with my little sister during the game, but after the game, my dad took my sister home. So I drove the girl that gives me butterflies home and once again we were alone at my car. We kissed again and I told her I'd come visit soon. She smiled beautifully and I hugged her tighter. I really dig this girl! I drove the rest of the way home with that great feeling in my gut and the thought of good times around the bend (going on a tangent: sci encore at nye of this song was sweet). I have never before fell in love with a girl so slowly. I haven't once thought about her sexually and I've been crazy about her since August. This time the love is really pure. We both want to know each other and the conversation is never dull. We kissed to express ourselves, but it was slow, lovely kissing and not fast, horny kissing. I have never appreciated a kiss more than hers. So far, this is what I view as falling in love the right way (uncorrupted, slow, pure, effortlessly). Nothing in our relationship has been forced. Neither of us are in a hurry because the magic is there and it's not fading. Anyway, this post is pretty long already so I'm going to cut it off so people might actually read it. As things develop, I'll drop a few posts to share my experience. I guess this saying explains why I'm telling you all anyway, "I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!" And I bid you goodnight :)
  2. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

    i'm happy for you :) really really happy!
  3. missfontella

    missfontella Mama of Da Assassins


    I'm soo happy for you. And you are right, that is how it is supposed to be. I wish you both all the happiness you can stand!
  4. whispers

    whispers sweet and sour

    please...........next time not so many words

    oh yah....good for you
  5. solargarlic

    solargarlic Member

    Sorry about the length. I didn't really have time to edit because I'm working on a school project. Thanks a lot for the good vibes, guys. ((((Gouda vibes)))) for you all too :)
  6. torz

    torz Member

    thats really sweet & i'm happy for you but next time space it out a bit, paragraphs, so its easier to follow
  7. lovely, thanks for sharing your story made me smile:)
  8. stuntdragon1

    stuntdragon1 Member

    yea man that's great...especially for a guy because we tend to get really impatient and want instant gratification. I'm in a relationship now after a very long wait..10 months...and it's the best I've ever had. So if she is worth the wait, as she was, you are in the good man.
  9. sugarmaggie

    sugarmaggie ~Green Eyed Devil~

    Awww..I love how you kept referring to her as "the girl who gave you butterflies". I wish you the best sweetie.
  10. shanique

    shanique Member

    What a lovely story... You are so in love :)
  11. theleprechuan

    theleprechuan Member

    i'm glad for you, this is also the way i think it should be.
    i have a similar relationship, my boyfriend and i met just a few weeks before he had to leave for college.
    the relationship goes slow, and the long distance can be very hard, but its definately worth it. :)
    at first we both had our doubts about it working, but its worked out way better then we ever imagined, now its been six months and we're more in love then ever.
    just to say, i'm happy for you and if you really love each other, the long distance will be much easier.
  12. NukeMoose

    NukeMoose Member

    What a great story. =) My girlfriend and I had the same type of slow, attraction building friendship and suddenly (as we both kinda knew and expected) got more and more serious. And it's great! Congrats man! Best of luck to both of you.
  13. Burbot

    Burbot Dig my burdei

    thunbs up to you and "Butterflies"
  14. Yay! You are awesome (all of you). It's the slow-built relationships that really last the longest. The woman I love and I have been friends since freshman year, and we are now in college. We've been slowly building up our relationship all this time, slowly getting to know each other, without any physical stuff. We've both had our experiences and made our own mistakes, and just a few weeks ago, we had our first kiss...and it was practically branded into memory. The wonderful thing about it, is that we already know each other so well that we can talk about anything at all and know that it will be alright. We know each other better than the backs of our hands, and we know the other is acting out of character. Four years as best friends and counting. All you have to do is keep it slow...just keep adding those bricks one by one and eventually you'll have The Great Wall of China. Sex can be a dangerous thing, don't tempt it, don't abuse it, but definately don't eternally abstain from it. There will be times when you wish that could be with her, rather than doing anything else at all, but life is as real as love is, and we all need to keep it up until we're dead, then you'll have all the time in the universe to laugh and talk and snuggle with eachother. For now, keep it real...just not so real that you lose eachother. The most important tip I can give you is to always be FULLY honest; no secrets, no lies, and no crying where she can't see you. Everything that you do, you must work through together, because who else would you rather solve your life problems with?

    Edit: Teasing is the best thing ever. I love being teased, and it makes things seem so much better when they finally happen. We teased each other for four years, and everything is like heaven now. Oh, and I 'm not talking about the lame messing up her hair and her slapping you in the face kind of thing. It's more like the stroking her ears and giving eskimo kisses kind of thing. And don't copy us!...those examples happened by accident with us...just gotta let things happen the way they do.
  15. dangermoose

    dangermoose Is a daddy

    oh so this is were you get your psycho babble 'we should wait' propaganda crap....i'll have none of this!!! i DEMAND the original poster make amends to his post or delete it entirely. we needn't pollute the minds of young women any more than they already are with falsifications in the ways of romance and love.
  16. peacelovebarefeet

    peacelovebarefeet BuRniN oNe...


    im in the EXACT same sort of relationship, aint it great!?
  17. Do you realize how deeply prejudice that statement is? You appear to imply that only straight people experience ramance and love. What about the homosexuals in this world? I bet you're not too worried about polluting their minds, are you? Your statement is was as much a flame against this thread as mine is against yours, lets let it end here and leave the thread open for the women whose minds are already "polluted," and the men, such as myself, who do the "pulluting." If you have a statement that can disprove the existence of love, feel free to share it, but until that time, leave us be while you go around fucking objects.
  18. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

    now which one is the REAL dangermoose....? you decide.... *twilight zone theme is audible in the background*
  19. aaaaaawww my little bro's in love :)
  20. white ginger

    white ginger Senior Member

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