fake confessions!

when i was 14 i had the coolest dirtbike and i used to jump from one side of niagara falls to the other!

 

no helmet!

 

When I drive truck I like to shift gears with no hands!

 

Once I grew a pot plant that was so big I had to call High Top tree services to come over with their cherry picker and chain saws to harvest it for me. Cheers!

 

there was this one time, i found a car inside my room.. and then i decided to drive it to mexico, and then when i got to mexico, the mexicans were all like.. yo essay. where did you get that car? and i was like.. yo. i found it in my room. they were like.. yo dats bitchin' and i was like.. hell yeah. so then afterwards i decided that i wanted to fly to new zealand with the mexicans. so i flew my car all the way to newzealand. and we had a tea party with them newzealanders.. it was a lot of fun. i wish i could do this again sometime.

 

I have never left this planet.

 

Once well I was working as a Mexican policeman I hid 87 of my family members in a trunk of a car that could fly. They now live in New Zealand. Cheers!

 

I once killed a cop


wait nm i thought it said true confessions

 

I don't have a dead, half-eaten baby under the floorboards of my bedroom.

 

I have 6 nipples like a she-dog.

 

I only rock alive, half-eaten babies under floorboards ^_^

 

I think I’m ugly and stupid!

 

Sometimes I think people only like me because I am rich.

 

I Trimmed My Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush!!!!!!

 

Once I was walking down the street and saw E.T and we talked.... he was really nice..... and I adopted him as a pet.

 

i've been running three miles a night for a month now

 

Sometimes I hid in the bathroom and listing to country and western music.

 

Now that the wife and I are semi retired we are finding time do the things we didn’t have time to do before and we are thinking of doing a few new things to spice up our life. I suggested skydiving and that we try that crystal meth that we have heard about – she say’s she would rather have a new wardrobe. Any fake advice?

 

A few years ago I cloned myself so I could have some extra fun with the wife. Cheers!

 

I have been spending way too much money on pot. So I’m starting to think that I should just shoot my dealer so I won’t be able to buy pot next Saturday.

Cheers and happy weekend!