failures in life

I'm 46 years old and pretty much failed at everything in my life. I've lost more jobs than I care to think about. Never was in a bonafide romantic relationship (but have fooled around).

My success in life was going back to school as an adult and getting a baccalaureate degree with honors 10 years ago. However...I pretty much lost all my jobs after getting my degree as well. I've been unemployed for 2 years now.

In my last job, I was bullied by people I worked for. They finally fired me after unsuccessfully trying to get me to quit. I did well with half the tasks but not to their liking with the other half. Part of the problem was my doc put me on amphetamines that raised the anxiety I have. The malicious bosses I had enjoyed bullying and treating me like s***. I filed a grievance with the professional association, so they may get into trouble.

I should have quit way sooner as now I've been especially depressed for a few years (being treated but treatment not working). This depression has actually lowered my intelligence, I think. It'll go back up if I can get my spirits back up. I don't have any friends, although a part of me doesn't want any. Severe social anxiety is part of the reason.

The psychologist says this stuff stems from the abuses I took as a child/adolescent.

Sorry if my grammar isn't good. Not feeling too well.

 

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Cheers Glen.

 

Sorry about your luck man. But you're 46, not 86. You still have plenty of time to do the things you want, just need to make ultimate goals and a series of shorter goals in order to reach the ultimate goals.

And that includes systematically defeating the social anxiety. It can be done, believe me.

 

Welcome aboard Brian!
Let me think on your trials, bro.

 

When we look back at what we have done there can be may Negative aspects which have had a bearing on who, what and where we are today.
The MOST important thing is that we should (to coin a phrase,) "Never Give up, Never Surrender".
If the Past has Dark memories - we should I feel, not so much forget, nor indeed in some cases forgive, but not let them be such a burden that it stops us from living a Positive and enjoyable life (at whatever age!)

As "Deviate" states "You're 46, not 86. You still have plenty of time to do the things you want, just need to make ultimate goals and a series of shorter goals in order to reach the ultimate goals".

Keep a clear Focus, and be the Best you can - For YOURSELF - For we all deserve it

 

Listen to the lyrics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5PESJgUHx4&sns=em"]Rebelution - Courage To Grow - YouTube

 

someone has tied a cinderblock to my leg, thrown me in a shit river, and told me to swim.. pray to god I dont reach the shore line.

 

rebelution is awesome

make a list of things you love then explore every option possible to flip one or more of the items on that list into a way to make a career out of it

live well

 

:iagree:

 

You need to go out more.

Go bowling.

And go find websites where you can find call girls!! get some party goin and buy yourself a good night with a hottie! You deserve it!!

after that I recommend online dating.. lots of women hang out online who are your age. you just need to get yourself together.

and dont listen to bullies. Life is what you make it.

Do some exercise. that will help with depression and it will make you healthier and more attractive.

 

No friends? No style? No place to go?
You should go Juggalo.

 

I was in this sort of depression for a 1.5 yr time period. Very low self esteem, always looked at the ground and would shy away from people (not look them in the eyes).

A part of you knows you're worth "it" and deserving of good things. You need to let that part of you grow. Feed it. Feed it. Feed it.

You need to say GOOD things to yourself daily. It might sound silly, but the way we talk to ourselves has a huge impact on how we perceive ourselves and approach problems.

You are not less intelligent because your spirits are low. A person can be happy and confident - that doesn't mean they're a genius Likewise, you can be depressed - that doesn't mean you're less intelligent by any means.

 

Maybe you should try some coffee shop meetup groups.

 

ain't got cash, ain't got no style,ain't got no girl to make you smile. don't worry be happy

 

Brian, I thought about what you said, and I came up with this.

Shut the fuck up and get over it.

Brian, you make it sound like the rest of us have it made.

I have had so many crimes committed against me. I lost count.

I had girls hanging off of me like hair on a dog. Yet now I have been celibate for 14 years, and last date I had was in spring '06.

I have lived on the streets homeless with nothing but the clothes I was wearing and no transportation source.
Yet I have also lived in a sweet condominium that I owed outright along with a nice sports car and tricked out 4x4 truck and a few acres bordering some prime hunting territory.

I have been so poor that I wouldn't have a dime to my name for weeks on end.
And I had so much money that one night I literally covered my bed in $100 bills and still had plenty to spare (always wanted to do that).

You're only a failure if you say you're a failure. You only lose at the game of life when you say you lost. You haven't won or lost until the day you die. Until then the game is on, 24-7.

And I betcha if those psychologists really understood what psychology is, they'd quit.

I'm not saying this to be an asshole Brian, but you only feel that you've had it bad. You've had it easy compared to how some people have it. So get off your ass and keep on keeping on. You feel weary, I know. So do I. I am 100% physically disabled, and this spring I'm looking at starting a small business. I feel weary. I'm worn out, torn down, rode hard and put away wet. But I still keep on keeping on.

You have no choice but to do the same Brian. So either you do it voluntarily or life will force you to do it. One way or another Brian, and backing out isn't gonna work.

 

You just summed up my life, except, that I am still pretty Young. The world is full of arsholes, whom one must try to stay clear of, no matter what Controlling Society-Junkies say. History and News articles on the high Level of harm People do to each other just for the heck of it Show, that the human is a sadistic animal. The normal People stay clear of them. The rest become just like them.

 

I have no advice to give you. Depression and child abuse are too serious to think anything I say is gonna change it. But...cheer up!

 

sorry that you have gone through this, Brian.

You may be eligible for vocational rehabilitation services.

You may want to check out the book "Curing Depression Naturally with Chinese Medicine" by bob flaws.

Meditation, exercise, and dietary changes might help you a lot.

hope that things can get better soon!

 

Man i dont mean to sound like an asshole but i really feel like instead of trying to do something about it your having yourself a pity party.

First you need to find a job for the sole aspect of finding some peers. I would say get out and go somewhere but i know thats not something ide do by myself and its hard to meet people when you are alone. I dont care if its a good job or some shit job its just the easiest way to meet people your forced to be around daily.

Also bullies? I wasnt even aware bullying still existed outside of highschool.
I mean yeah every now and then i meet an asshole who might have different views from my own and says something to me but ill let him know thats his opinion. I have such little respect for narrow minded people who are set in their ways being the only way i could care less about anything coming out of mouth and neither should you.

You can be whoever you want to be. The only person who has the right to judge you and act like you should change is yourself.

 

Thank you everyone for your posts! I am very grateful.

@deviate: Yes, I'm 46, not 86. The social anxiety is entrenched but I'll keep plugging away.

@Billyx1120: Yes, never give up, never surrender. Thank you for your post.

@glendorf: Yes, I need to get out more. I need to exercise, drop some weight, and hit the personals.

@Logan 5: Thanks for your generous post. I think it was a good counterpoint to the compassion posts. I guess the bottom line is I need to keep plugging away...Your quote by the author is an example of one of the things bothering me in recent times. Society has gotten so screwed up. I think Mr. Thompson committed suicide partly due to what society has become and lost rights...If it's possible to become better physically, I'm praying for you. Good luck with your business venture.

@rak: I have a dark view on humans myself. I guess we can't let that get ourselves down.

@e7m8: Thank you for your compassion.

@Hipstudent: Yes, I need to get a job ASAP...Bullies do exist outside H.S. I noticed you're young. You'll see bullying in the future without physical threats.

All: Again, thank you!