Hello again. I know i've posted before about my problems, and you're probably getting sick of hearing it... but this one seems to remain the most constant, and i think a lot of other problems stem from it. I'm a little embarassed about this one, i think. But it's bothered me to no end for the longest time, and i want to do something about it. I get the most extreme seperation anxiety i have ever seen, and it usually occurs for just one person. It used to be a specific friend, and now it's my boyfriend. I love him to death, and i honestly believe that he loves me, and i trust him. It's not a trust issue. It's just that almost every time we aren't talking, say, every two hours if we aren't in school, i want to talk to him or be with him. If i can't, i am inconcolible (sorry, can't spell). I am in an absolute panic and it will not be put right until i can talk to him or see him again. It's just that, i feel so comfortable and just... well... GOOD around him that nothing feels anywhere near as good. And i'm just laying here, now, thinking that i'd rather waste away then spend another second without him. And every time i hear something that sounds remotely like a ringtone, my heart leaps. This causes the most extreme depression i have ever felt. Thinking back, almost all of my depressive episodes or anxiety attacks have been caused by things like this.It's not as if this only happens sometimes... i feel it almost everyday. For example, we talked at 5 today for about 20 minutes. We have not talked since then, and in my head he's lying dead somewhere or he's just decided not to love me anymore (even though i KNOW neither of these make sense at all). I cannot be comforted at all and i'll just sit here on edge, completely unproductive, until we can talk again. Can anyone at all relate? I feel so childish, or overbearing, but i really can't help it. I can't bring myself to even stand up or turn on the tv... and if i did, it wouldn't help.
fucking my boyfriend lives a two hour train ride away from me ....i can sooo relate and it sucks it feels like theres something ripped out of me everytime i have to leave him cause i know im not going to see him for a while....and its not a trust issue at all im not paranoid i just want to be with him at all times i get to see him on 420 and i havnt seen him since april 3rd.....fucking im going insane
I wasnt surprised to see you are a water sign (Cancer) Oh....I am a Scorpio and have suffered from this a lot in the past...I am a lot older now and so have done some healing work around it... Its the need to merge with another.....we often have problems separating ourselves from the other person. This is what the soulmate thing is often about.......finding our other half.... Painful, heartwrenching and very very draining... I have been married three times...I always thought i had met the one and didnt realise life was trying to tell me to connect first with myself... .....so I trained to be a healer and focused on helping others to try and balance things out a little.... ...maybe you go and talk with a healer about how you feel....its very difficult girl.....i know how you feel... I am the most romantic and loving of women, but have never felt that amount of love returned to me.....
