ex boyfriend problems, I know its long but plz help

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by shotzi520, Jan 6, 2005.

  1. shotzi520

    shotzi520 Member

    Me and my ex broke up a while back, we were together a long time, and I was truely blinded by love. My friends would tell me that I shouldn't be with him anymore because he treated me so bad and made me cry a lot, but of course I didn't want to believe everything they said about him, just because we did have good times together aswell. Well after awhile things started to get bad, he started acting real wierd, so I decided I would find out what was going on myself. Well I had no idea what I was in for. I found that he had been lying to me the entire time we were together. He continued using drugs, although he told me he wasn't. Then I got the worst, he had been cheating on me for almost a month. I had so much hate for him, so I thought that it would be easy to get over him. I've moved on, and been with this person for about 8 months, but yet I still find myself thinking about him. Just about a month ago, he showed up unexpectedly at my house. It was horrable, and was like everything I loved about him I was reminded of. He knew what showing up at my house would do to me, and he did it anyway. Ever since we broke up I have been a totally different person, I used to be such a happy person, and after the breakup, I have just been the depressed type of person.. Please can some one help me get this guy out of my head????
  2. I know how it goes hon, have had the same thing happen to me repeatedly.

    First off you have every right to still have feelings for him. You loved him and you will always have a little bit of love for him unless you end up completely hating him. No hate without loving the person first. And that is completely normal.

    Second of all, it will take a lot of time to get over him. Best thing to help the process along is to not dwell on the matter. Start replacing all the little things and places and activities that remind you of him. IF you have things of his or things that remind you of him put them away in a box and store the box away. Resist all urges to open the box til you feel you are completely over him. Talk to your friends about it. They'll understand and sometimes can be the greatest help. If he makes a habit of showing up like this, then tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that you would like it if he would leave you alone. When you get to the point you feel comfortable with him or being friends with him let him know you will call. We all need a healing period.

    If you ever need to talk about it, just PM me and I'll try to help however I can.
  3. shotzi520

    shotzi520 Member

    Thanx so much, yeah I really hate it when ex's try to come back into your life just to mess it up again. It makes me feel stupid to know that I didn't see what all he was doing behind my back. After we had broken up, he tried to get back with me, even though he was still with the other chic and knew that I knew what all he did. Guys are stupid sometimes, all they think about is sex, but I guess there's good ones and bad ones out there, it sucks that I always get mixed up with the bad ones though. But thanx for the advice, its idea to do all of that... I guess it just takes time...
  4. Don't feel stupid, we all get blinded by love now and again.
    And guys can suck
    That's why we date, to weed through the assholes and find the good men and hopefully finally find the best one for us.

    And yes, it does take time.

    And again, if you ever need to talk about it, just pm me.
  5. shotzi520

    shotzi520 Member

    k thanx so much :D
  6. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    What you need to try to do whenever you start thinking about this guy is remind yourself as to why you and him arent together anymore.

    - he's made you cry so much
    - he's lied to you
    -he's deceived you
    - he cheated on you
    -he lied about doing drugs
    who knows what else he kept from you while you two were togehter. Sure you were in love with this guy and it will take time to get over him but just remmeber that you are in a relationship with a guy this is truly better than he is. Also another way to get over your ex is to talk about your relationship with your current bf or with a friend and just talk about the good times and the bad times. Well with your depression all I can tell you istry and appreciate and look at what you have right now at this very moment. your out of a shitty relationship, your alive, your are with a new guy who is most likely 100 times better than your ex. I hope that i have some how helped you in a way.

    ~Fallen Fairy~
  7. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    you can't be friends with him, it never works out. one person still likes the other and it causes pain and you don't want to see him in pain no matter waht a jerk he was. Just tell him not to come by anymore, I sympathize my ex fiance's house is about four blocks from my moms i had to be very blunt
  8. MrRee

    MrRee Senior Member

    In order to find out what love is you first must find out what it isn't.

    Love & relationships is like riding a bicycle ~ you learn to stay on by falling off! But hurt from skinned knees lasts a while all the same.
    All you need do is remember the pain, cheating, lying, and ask yourself ~ "do I enjoy being lied to, cheated on, in heartbreak pain?" If the answer is "yes" ~ go right on back to him, he's sure to give you all you need!
    If the answer is "no", it's time you thought of him like yesterday's breakfast ~ just press the button, flush him away, walk into the next room of your life where the air is clean.

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