Evolving from Bisexual to Gay...

Discussion in 'Other Sex Discussions' started by LowHangers, May 16, 2022.

  1. LowHangers

    LowHangers Members

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    My wife and I have had discussions lately since my recent engagement with Tom the other day. He and I have been "Suck-Buds" for 12 years now but the other day we engaged ourselves into a more passionate level while showering before our regular oral exchanges. I even whispered "I Love You" in his ear which I've never done with any man. I think my days of being bisexual have evolved into more of a gay relationship with him. I've always had more sex with him versus my wife or his wife. I still enjoy sex with both of our wives, but I am feeling I reached a point where I desire him more than either of our wives. I don't see this as a bad thing, and my wife whom I love dearly has stated she understands why I would feel this way.

    Has this happened to others out here?
     
    thepapasmurph likes this.
  2. BiGuySW

    BiGuySW Members

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    Not with me, and I think I know why.

    Early on in life I decided that if I had both male and female characteristics, perhaps other people did also. What a revelation, especially in a culture that thinks men are totally different from women, and that you must be either one or the other and nothing in between.

    So then, as I had relationships with people along the entire gender spectrum, I found that almost all of them had the same basic needs. I continue to choose my sensual and affectionate relationships based on personality, not on what I consider to be a false male-female choice. I can only maintain a long-term relationship based on love and mutual respect, not on sex alone. Those long-term respectful relationships are the best, no matter how a person describes their gender.
     
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  3. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Members

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    I wrote this elsewhere, so it's a repeat - but you have allowed yourself to develop a strong bond with Tom over the years. I am sure that he has always been more than just a blow n go, but you are friends, and you have a relationship with him, his wife and your wife - you all appear to know one another. I don't see how you can engage in 69 with the same man for all those years and develop a love for the man. Yeah, you seem to have held back for a long time in expressing it - but that moment that you kissed him, it rocked you, and him, too. And it was reciprocated, and it meant something. I don't know that you can necessarily say you are evolving into a more gay thing... It appears the idea of kissing a man has been off your radar until now. I doubt very highly that it now means you want to explore with other guys - maybe you do... I'd sooner capture it as a new level of intimacy with Tom and it is very good. Enjoy it and let it flow. I am glad your wife is so understanding. Kissing, for some, is a very personal thing, a very intimate thing, and should not be done unless there are feelings behind it. That could have bothered your wife, and might bother Tom's, if he tells her. I sure hope not. I think it is wonderful that you have had this long term relationship with him. I'm curious where it will lead and what else will you discover.
     
  4. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Members

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    By the way, I began to accept my bisexuality when I was in my early 20s. I enjoyed a lot of sex with guys back then, but I also had girlfriends... I began to consider coming out as gay and told some friends. It was received well considering it was back in the early 80s. But, as time went on, I became depressed and decided being gay was not what I wanted out of life - so in my naivety, I decided to go straight, get married, not tell my wife about my past, and I went deep into an evangelical movement... funny thing, God never answered my prayer to cure this other side of me... and after my kids were grown up, and my marriage began to change, and my sexual relationship with my wife evaporated, I started to explore craigslist for quick sexual release. Again, I began depressed, and thought of taking my life over this sexual identification I was struggling with. It wasn't until I was 50 years old that things changed for the better - I finally realized the cultish environment of the Christian church was destroying me. I accepted that it was OK that I am attracted to men, and I came to finally accept that I am a gay leaning bisexual man. Unfortunately, this truth has caused a lot of pain for my wife, who is a conservative person who never waivers from her religious beliefs, and it was difficult for my children, too. Things are improving in my family and I am doing pretty well. But, I have to say, it sure would be wonderful to me if I had a good friend like Tom. I am at peace and that's what counts the most.
     
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  5. Si69

    Si69 Senior Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Has this happened to others out here?

    Yeah, happening with me I reckon......and not uncommon I think.

    Simon :)
     
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  6. LowHangers

    LowHangers Members

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    I'm not shocked by what took place and how I felt. He and I have been close for 12 years now sucking each other off 2-3 times a week so I guess it was bound to happen. I just never expected such an emotional, arousing sensation when engaged in passionate kissing with him. I'm sure it's going to change how we interact from now on. I'm planning on discussing the matter and situation with my wife and would like him to discuss it with his wife as well.
     
  7. Windman

    Windman Members

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    For me its difficult to separate sex from any emotion at all. I didn't gravitate toward sex with men until my 40’s. And even then only dabbled, and it was difficult for me to to reconcile my Christianity with the very strong desires I have had most of my adult life.my story is very similar to Papa’s. It seems the more I get into the weeds of biblical translations and understanding them the less I seem to know. The Christian church has shot it’s self in the foot with the characterization of sexuality as black and white when it seems in the world we live in is far from it.
    So at this point, this side of me is hidden from view of others that would not accept it and only is visible to those I choose.
     
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  8. topper

    topper Member

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    If your wives are cool with you guys having fun with each other, why open that can of worms?Do you think your wife would feel differently watching you passionetly kissing him? While they might find it hot and exciting that you both are sexually Bi/gay. The emotional aspect of kissing is a different story. My wife told me that she didn't have any problem with us sucking and fucking each other, but she would feel different watching us kiss. For us, at our age, its just sexual, not emotional
     
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  9. Dude111

    Dude111 An Awesome Dude HipForums Supporter

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    I wonder if thier wives are as open as they are :)
     

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