Because I wish I would. To me life is meaningless, I have no future. I'm smart, IQ of 130, I just don't have the motivation. I have no friends, no job, I dropped out of school. No one ywants me around, everyone thinks I'm weird. No one understands me, people just think they can do whatever they want to me, like they can use me and then throw me away when they're done. Have you ever just wanted to kill them? Well I have, I just don't have it in me to kill another person. I just feel I'm doomed to fail, there is no use in going on. I want to die, I want to die so that I can be happy.
When people are nice to me it feels so weird. I'm not used to it, I appreciate it and all but it's so rare that it just feels so alien to me.
That's kind of how I feel except I don't know what my IQ is, but for now I'm just trying to make the best of this horrid existence.
"Who made this mistake? Why am I in this world? Why am I living this life? Why am I trapped in this body? On this plane of existence?" "You're in school, dummy, why don't you try taking the curriculum?"
"This is the strangest life I've ever known" Been there, done that... But for some reason I'm still here.
So did you ever watch the movie? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zexCVdpQtcM"]Harold & Maude - The end of the E-Type - YouTube
IQ of 130 is quite high, near genius. You may be able to use that brain of yours to make your life better. You have some gifts, maybe you can use them to everyone's benefit. I've posted some advice for dealing with depression on this forum a bunch of times. http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showpost.php?p=7212185&postcount=22 Many smart people have trouble making connections to other people, dealing with assholes, and finding meaning in life. You're certainly not alone. The basic self-help methods in the link could benefit you a lot in the long run. If you really feel on the verge of an attempt, you might want to get on anti-depressants now. Limiting your exposure to assholes and increasing your exposure to nice people would probably help a lot. Where do you live now? Do you have any options to live elsewhere? Could you stay with relatives some place else?
yea i know what you mean.. I go through stages where i get really depressed but like bbad said they pass... come and go.... i have learned to work through my depression and have beenable to gain better control over it. I found things to occupy my mind and silent ways to let things out when i don't have someone to talk to.. You don't need a lot of friends to be happy but i am sure you have atleast a few... If not then you should get out and meet people.. or go out and meeet better people.. theres good people out there you just have to find them.. go get your G.E.D.... I am just now getting mine and i am so happy for myself.. you should do the same.. Only YOU can improve YOUR life.. no one else can... Its all one step at a time..
All the time. There's not a day goes by when I don't wish that I'll just go to sleep and never wake up again...
I Remember Quite Clearly, My Mother Saying To Me, That She Thought The Only Reason The Dear Lord Put Me On This Earth, Was To Disrupt The Harmony Of Other Peoples Lives.... And We All Know, Mothers Never Make Mistakes, Right....?? Cheers Glen.
Not even I'm that bitter to wish to do that... My mother has made loads of mistakes, and the biggest one, was having me. lol
You sound perfectly healthy to me. What healthy person would want to participate in this pointless mess of a consumer/producer based society? I think it's the opposite - you've got to be smart to even get to the point of wanting to reject it all, throw away all that shit that is put onto you and you had no part of and want no part of. Only thing that's kept me alive is reading some of the greatest writers who have said the same thing, and who I admire greatly.
Aww, wish I could give you a hug. I used to think like that but I'm a lot more optimistic now. I feel for you :/
*huge hugs* Always. I hate being alive. I hate being me. I have no hope that tomorrow will be any different or better than today. Hell, I'm not even sure I should change, so many factors inside me and outside terrify me. But I'm still breathing. If not for myself, then for the 1 or 2 people in my life I don't want to hurt. It can be unbearable when you don't feel any reason to continue, but if you don't know, then just try looking for one. There are definitely people around that will support and guide you while you look, like on this thread for example! or if you just want to vent we are here too. PM me or us any time
Hmm, maybe you're not as weird as you think you are dazedgatsby...it could be worse, you could have been one of the zombified robotic greatgasby clones that are aspirational careerists. Now, those people are really weird...