Ever told you don't know "Jack"???

Discussion in 'Old Hippies' started by teepi, Jan 30, 2005.

  1. teepi

    teepi living my dream

    Do You Know "Jack Shitt"?

    Who is Jack Schitt?

    For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parent's objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

    After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

    Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
  2. shaggie

    shaggie Senior Member

    Maybe I missed it, but I can't believe they left out Tuff Schitt.

    I know a guy named Bob Shinola who looks just like Jack Schitt. When others mistake him for Schitt, I tell them they don't know Schitt from Shinola.
  3. teepi

    teepi living my dream


    You're right Shaggie....Tuff Schitt IS missing....
    Last I heard, he was going around acting like a big bully, got the shit beat out of him, and hasn't been heard from since.
  4. shaggie

    shaggie Senior Member

    I'm going to get in trouble if I keep talking like this.
  5. Sus

    Sus Hip Forums Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Got beat up, eh??? Sounds pretty schitt-y to me....
  6. jesikhaviolet

    jesikhaviolet Member

    sus - someone's gonna cry soon because of that awful pun = P
    no hard feelings
  7. poor_old_dad

    poor_old_dad Senior Member

    Dear, sweet lady, Teepi;

    Could you please send this information to the White House. I feel the current occupant doesn't know "
    Jack Schitt". In fact, doesn't know Schitt at all.

  8. clockworkorangeagain

    clockworkorangeagain femme fatale

    haha im so glad i am familiar with the shits now! umm...excuse me
  9. shaggie

    shaggie Senior Member

    Forget the White House. Forward it to the Crawford ranch. That's where he is anyway.

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