Engy was unemployed, so waited in a lot of queues. Queing wasn't fun but it certainly wasnt a strain on engy's boredom threshold. This Queue was at Sainsbury's supermarket. Saturday....7.pm at the checkout. Suddenly he was far away and though consious of sainsburys he was also in the server room at Havappotech Ltd. Twenty tiles north, 14 tiles west 3 tiles north up lane 2 near the heat extractors then the manual safe. 20 left 12 right 4 left 15 right 8 left Not long to go now, just get these gardening gloves and a bottle of bleach It would be computer crime of the century it really would. TO BE CONTINUED..........
"ha ha ha, those dilbert characters crack me up", thought engy as he put the newspaper back into the plastic sainsburys bag. the loony toons theme began playing somewhere on the bus and after it played a couple of times someone behind him nudged Engy and said "Your phone is ringing". Engy remembered changing the ringer two days ago and hadnt had a call since. "Eng speaking, Oh hiya yeah I will be at your place in 12 hours", looks at his watch, "and 58 minutes and 30 seconds, yeah no its great I just bought some gardening gloves and some bleach, ha ha ha, yeah I like that, ok will do, but dont forget to call in at 7:30am okay, bye" It was raining outside the bus, Engy didnt want to get off but he had to. It was a 15 minute walk to his house at 14 Persimmons Street, but once there it was the start of the whole escapade. First kick off with beans and saussage on toast with a nice cup of char. Flicks on the tv, cooks dinner, watches coronation street. suddenly Engy remembers that he is meant to be doing some crime of the century at the data warehouse, but luckily the angel of fortune smiled and as he was preparing to rob the place. he accidentally clicked the remote when the bottle of bleach fell from the bag. It was the prize draw for the lottery. quickly he raced to the fridge to unclip his ticket they had already read out 4 numbers "12 - yeah 12, 26 yeah 26, 7 yeah 7 - shit , this cant be true its a joke isnt it, 16 yeah 16" and now the 5th numeb is 27 bla bla bla "ha 27 " Engy was now frantic, 5 numbers thats 10's of thousands isnt it 44 come on 44 come on YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! " the television was now all flashing lights and the presenter announced - tonights jackpot of 22 Million pounds will go to one luck winner Engy was scared shitless and kept looking at the ticket, it was beyond belief absolutely too much beyond belief, he owned 22 million pounds. it took an hour, and 1/4 bottle of whiskey to calm his nerves. His phone began to ring the person at the other end of the conversation sounded rather hostile. "where the fuck are you"? "I've decided I'm not going ahead with it man"? "Are you fucking stupid, now stop pratting about and get the fuck here like you were supposed to be 20 minutes ago" "Look you'll have to do it without me I just cant do this I really am not into it anymore" Engy put the phone down but it rang less than 30 seconds later "Look I dont know what the fuck you are playing at but I want that 3 million I want my 1 and a half milliondo you understand now get the fuck here or the next time i see you it will be with a fucking gun in my hand shooting at your fucking head now get the fuck here or I will send the dogs after you - get it you **** get your fucking arse here now" "Look we dont need to rob that place anymore, I'm not doing it and..." This time it was Vincent that had cut the call off Engy decided to leave the flat and making sure the ticket was safe in a zipper pocket of his coat he grabbed his wallet, passport, and keys and made his escape down the stairs. from under the stairwell behind him a vice said "Engy, my man", Engy froze mid step, it was Rabid Ali, A bengali hard man and from the sound of it he wasnt alone, "just off for a walk are we. Vincent said we were to follow you, make sure you arent colluding with the authorities. But then he phones not 5 minutes ago to say he wants to talk to you, and he's not a happy bunny" Engy wondered if he should run, but then turned around and noticed that Ali was pounding the palm of his hand with a lead cosh, and his sidekick, Pavan, a Indian hitman was also there and he was bound to be armed. Engy ran, and ran, finally bursting through the doors at the end of the corridor, the two heavies were behind him, and getting closer, It was pouring with rain but Engy hardly noticed this as he made his escape Suddenly as he neared St Kitts Road, he noticed an alley way leading to the back of the shops To be continued
When I saw the word "gun" mentioned in your work, I was tempted to do a Big Gun Johnson mini-episode, but I think that you're doing such a good job that it deserves applause. I haven't seen style like this since the early days of 2000AD, when I started my career by sweeping their offices.
Actually I make tea for the writers at Macmillan & co I got this story when I overheard two of them talking about this guy who worked over at 2000 AD .... oh hang on it was you ! hmmm ha ha ha - anyway no need to cause trouble by telling you what they said - needless to say I will punch them in the bollocks for you when I see them next
dood I think I saw all these characters in Starsky and Hutch - its totally fuckin loser gay writing sunshine - here let daddy show ya how !
Ronnie you troll tell me who you are ! HA HA HA I have sussed out that you are either Steve S, Vaughan G, or Graham S. ha ha ha you bastard it must be one of you as youre the only ones I told about hip forums. You nutter ! ha ha ha you'll get us both in trouble. damn I will phone you all on monday but its gonna be pretty embarrassing talkin to the wrong ones "Scooooter boy I am the face" - I just know its you, scooter boy ! Just fuckin wait till I check which personell were online over that proxy I go through - ha ha ha !
Do you know this twat, Sentient? I thought it was one of the Canadians in the UK forum, trying to offload the blame by saying it was me!!! Does this mean things can go back to normal now?
I think ronnies out of here - he posted in the smoke signals forum about his ip being banned and when I couldnt get in the other day I suddenly put 2 n 2 together - as I realised that people were saying I was him - its about a proxy that to work with hip now I have to use outside proxies till i fix it but dont worry theyre actually good friends but practical jokers know what i mean - in actual fact i think ronnie is two people I think its retribution for when I glued this guys stapler to his desk
I didn't realize people do this sort of thing in here. It's probably just a joke. Shame that you're paying for whoever Ron is though. I think whoever it is, if he or she or it is someone playing a prank, they should come clean about it. This has caused me severe stress and complexion on my skin. All my freckles are playing up, and my blonde locks are losing their shiny Robert Redford lustre.
