emphatuated with another girl... but im already in a serious relationship.. help!!!

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Fucking Tech, May 23, 2004.

  1. Fucking Tech

    Fucking Tech Member

    i guess i just need some advice or maybe reassurance that this is natural or something? this will probably turn into a novel and a half as i type... apologies in advance :)

    well... i've got this girlfriend, see. we've been dating for close to 8 months now and things are going really well. we've been good friends for over 2 years so we're pretty close i guess. we've got plans for backpacking through south america in september. i guess overall the relationship is awesome.

    now here's my dillemma. theres another girl, and it seems that i've fallen for her. this girl lives accross the border from me (in the USA) so we dont see eachother very often, only at hardcore shows once in a while and when we make plans to hang out. lately we've just really connected i guess. i bought some phone cards and we've been talking on the phone late into the night. we've both got feelings for eachother and have expressed such.
    the real shitty thing is that i dont want to like her, i dont want my liking her to fuck up my existing relationship, but at the same time i really wish we could be together. which is dumb because we would hardly ever see eachother and it would probably end up badly.
    i feel guilty when i get the 'butterflies' and that warm tingly 'in love' feeling whenever we talk, but rarely anymore with my girlfriend, although we have a very strong relationship.

    what does anyone reccomend i do to stop liking her? i think i should probably totally break off talkign to her too much but i really dont want to do that. has this happened to anyone before and if so, what did you do about it? any advice would be really apprectiated cus this is causing a big stupid division in my life and i dont want it to mess up the good things i have... aahh.
    thanks
     
  2. WayfaringStranger

    WayfaringStranger Corporate Slave #34

    crushes come and go, as do women. if youre happy in your relationship, dont do anything to fuck it up. you can enjoy having your crush with another person, just dont act on it. dont worry about things, and dont fuck up your happy relationship. as long as you stay in touch with the other girl, she's not going anywhere. but if you dont see a future in your present relationship, then ask your girlfriend for advice.
     
  3. shutterfly

    shutterfly Member

    Yea.. I get crushes on guys all the time and I'm in a knockout awesome relationship. It's a natural part of life. Just because you are committed to one does not mean you won't find another attractive. If you're committed to your current babe then don't fuck around with this other chick, and if you don't think you can be just friends with this other chick then you need to cut that tie. Or break up with your babe and then get with the other one. But remember.. you were once googly and butterflied over your current love too. Just because those googly feelings went away doesn't mean the love and googles aren't still there, it just means you've evolved to a different level with each other. If you get with this new chick those feelings will inevitably fade too and you may or may not evolve together. You could sacrifice a good thing for nothing. Besides.. there may be some rockiness in your relationship with the new chick because of the nature of the way you got together, you know.. with you already having a girlfriend. If you leave your babe for her she could feel you might do the same to her. You're in a tough spot. But seeing as I've been infatuated with other guys on many an occasion and those feelings have always passed I'd suggest you let this one pass naturally, for it will.. trust me. There's no need to fuck up a good thing if your already happy with what you've got.
     
  4. That was really well put. Exactly what I was going to say, only much better worded!
     
  5. shutterfly

    shutterfly Member

    Why thankee very much user friendly!
     

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