----- Original Message ----- >>>> >>>>Apparently going around NY at the moment. 1st is a girl's apology email >>>>for cheating on some bloke. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd to his >>>>entire address book. He makes some excellent points. >>>> >>>> >>>>Brad, >>>> >>>>It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel >>>>like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am >>>>truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people >>>>in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I >>>>would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or >>>>anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us >>>>had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you >>>>being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly >>>>words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking >>>>that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just >>>>went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny >>>>yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I >>>>can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you >>>>meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know >>>>that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is >>>>something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and >>>>stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I >>>>can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to >>>>say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't reflect that, and >>>>you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate >>>>feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I >>>>am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what >>>>happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just >>>>about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there >>>>with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in >>>>the world to rewind and fix it. >>>> >>>>I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you >>>>won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for >>>>getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at >>>>your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be >>>>great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel >>>>like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was >>>>not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really >>>>don't think I can handle that. >>>> >>>> >>>>I am so sorry. >>>> >>>> >>>>Elizabeth >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>RESPONSE: >>>> >>>> >>>>Dear Elizabeth, >>>> >>>> >>>>Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for >>>>"Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about". >>>> >>>>You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to >>>>carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of >>>>whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes >>>>while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you >>>>ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is >>>>grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar. >>>> >>>>To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and >>>>degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour >>>>span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k >>>>him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care >>>>less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world >>>>revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly >>>>Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to >>>>consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news >>>>for you is that my friends >>>>don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average >>>>run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as >>>>your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty >>>>hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my >>>>place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up >>>>tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning >>>>commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a >>>>hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that >>>>when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top >>>>of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our >>>>heads off about the time it happened. >>>> >>>>By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you >>>>really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. >>>>Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like >>>>watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know. >>>> >>>>PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email. >>>> >>>>Talk to you never, >>>>Brad >>>> >>>>Ouch.... >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> _____ >>>> >>>>The information transmitted in this message and its attachments (if any) >>>>is intended only for the person or entity to which it is addressed. >>>> >>>>The message may contain confidential and/or privileged material. Any >>>>review, retransmission, dissemination or other use of, or taking of any >>>>action in reliance upon this information, by persons or entities other >>>>than the intended recipient is prohibited. >>>> >>>>If you have received this in error, please contact the sender and delete >>>>this e-mail and associated material from any computer. >>>> >>>>The intended recipient of this e-mail may only use, reproduce, disclose >>>>or distribute the information contained in this e-mail and any attached >>>>files, with the permission of the sender. >>>> >>>>This message has been scanned for viruses with Symantec Scan Engine and >>>>cleared by MailMarshal. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> _____ >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> _____ >>>> >>>>Message protected by MailGuard: e-mail anti-virus, anti-spam and content >>>>filtering. >>>>http://www.mailguard.com.au/mg >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>********************************************************************** ** >>>>********************************************** >>>> >>>>This e-mail is the property of Oakley Inc. It is intended only for the >>>>person or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information >>>>that is privileged, confidential, or otherwise protected from >>>>disclosure. Distribution or copying of this e-mail, or the information >>>>contained >>>>herein, to anyone other than the intended recipient is prohibited. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>********************************************************************** >>>>This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential >>>>and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to >>>>whom they are addressed. If you have received this email >>>>in error please notify the sender. >>>> >>>>This footnote also confirms that this email message has >>>>been swept for the presence of computer viruses. >>>>**********************************************************************
Blind carbon-copied....Meaning he knew who he was sending this to (all 100 people besides the girl) but she had no clue until he told her.
