dumbest agruments about pregnancy and kids...

ok, if I had to make a list of the stupidest agruments people have with family, friends, and strangers over kids in general, this would top it. This happened back at easter, but it keeps coming up, and I had to share.
we went over to my mom's for easter supper, where my grandparents were also over. My mom had basted the turkey in about 4 cups of wine, poured it into the gravy and on top of that, gave me a glass of wine. I looked at her and said, "you've got to be kidding me..."
she was like, "nothing is wrong with drinking while you're pregnant."
I was dumbfounded! Then her mom pipes in (my oma) and says, "yeah, that's true. I drank a beer and clamato every day when I was pregnant."
Then my mom says, "I drank wine all the time when I was pregnant with you, and you turned out fine."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could not believe this! So she keeps trying to push the wine on me, and I'm trying to stress to her that there's not a single amount of proof as to what the safe amount of liquor is when you're pregnant, if any.
THEN, she says, "There's no ancohol in wine."
K, my mom is not a dumb woman...but this is SERIOUSLY stupid.
I even had the bio instructor at the college I go to, and she works at, tell her everything I had. I was hoping from an "educated" person's point of view (my family has this thing for not believing a word I say because I don't have a university education yet; I'm just a dumb kid), and she still said that he was wrong!

LOL, so if anyone else has some dorky stories to share, be it about pregnancy, kids, or just parenting in general, I'd love to hear them! As frustrating as this has been around my family, I cannot stop laughing my ass off about how dumb of an argument this has been!

 

it is proven that one glass of wine or a beer a day is safe after the first trimester

 

Oh hon, I've got a set of moms like that too! And it's always over the STUPIDEST things too!

The one that springs to mind easiest was while my son was teething. My MIL kept telling us that we should let him gnaw on chicken bones. CHICKEN BONES!!! You know, after someone else has chewed all the meat off & before any sort of cleaning, that nasty thing that chokes pets?!? She swore that's what she used for her kids. My husband actually caught her doing this with my son once - at 8 months old (he still wasn't even eating baby cereals so this was massive) and he nearly took her head off.

I still gag thinking about it. So nope, you're not the only one! ((((((hugs!!!))))))
love,
mom

 

and where is your source to proove that?
I'd like to meet the immoral mothers and doctors who tested and prooved that there's a safe amount of ancohol to drink when you're pregnant.
I've know WAY too many people with fetal ancohol syndrome to believe that.

 

yeah im curious about that too - but since I never foun any proof that it was ok I stayed away from it entirely. I would love to see a source... I've heard that in other countries they regularly drink a glass of wine a day during pregnancy without any negative effects .. but i don't know how true that is.

 

Alcohol is poison period! If you'd ever had a hangover, that is just proof, imagine what a baby would feel. My mom also drank constantly when she was pg with me, but this was the 70s and she didn't know she was pregnant until March and I was born in June. I feel that I am very lucky to be okay, but I spent a lot of my childhood sick. Maybe it was because of alcohol, maybe not. But I wouldn't risk it with an unborn baby. It is only 9 months, if I can give up weed for that time (that's huge if you know me), I think a mother can forgo a drink for that time.

My family has stopped giving me advice. They used to bug me about giving newborns juice and cereal at like one month old. Oh, and my mom insists that babies need water, so she was giving her spoonfuls behind my back! They stopped telling me these things when they saw my 6 month old very chubby happy baby that had only had breastmilk! They do look at me strange when they see my babies in cloth diapers and no Gerbers LOL.

 

i seen proof of it watching a video of a slide show. Made everyone cry. babies weighing in at 10 ozs 15 ozs brains shrivelled up like prunes and being compared to "normal" ppl brains how they function in today's world because of alohol. I had to leave .


We had so many boxes of kleenex around handing them out even the guys were crying.
Babies can either get FAS or FASE fetal alcohol syndrome effect (shows no igns effects, the eyes arn't like they look like down syndrome), but the brain is damaged.

FAS is full blowns symptoms the brain is damaged like a prune. They had a conference in T.O. several researchers and neuro specialists were revealing why how when ans where this can all take place at what age your child might have signs.

Very very interesting and sad at the same time

 

Barefoot~ I'm sure you love them all (Mom, Grandmother and MIL), but I just have to say: Man! You have some seriously misinformed people to contend with! It must get so fustrating at times! But it's great that you ARE well informed, and that you stick to your guns. Sorry, I know this was ---->fftopic: But I had to say it. Anyway, back to topic, I've never thought it was ok to drink during pregnancy, but here's what a quick google turned up:
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/pregnancynutrition/3542.html
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/14332_1170.asp
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/women/pregnancy/fetal/068.html

 

"And some research has shown that expectant moms who have as little as one drink per week are more likely than nondrinkers to have children who later exhibit aggressive and delinquent behavior." <<<from the babycenter website, and was also repeated a few times on other sites
This really makes me wonder...both my sister and I have some major emotional problems. I think that the way we were raised has a lot to do with the issues I have now, but still, makes me wonder if any thing was caused from this.

yeah, my family is a pain. I think that a big part of it is that the things that are known now about kids, pregnancy, etc, was not even thought about back then. Like the argument that I have been having with my MIL about the circ issue. She refuses to believe that it's not less clean, that it doesn't cause cancer or UTIs, etc...
but this isn't a circ thread, lol...still something I'm a little aggrivated about.

 

I have worked in addictions for the ast nine years. I can tell you that I would work with a heroin addicted baby any day than to work with a FAS baby. The effects of heroin or cocaine can be outgrown for the most part. The effects of fetal alcohol are permanent life long problems that will never go away. No one knows how much alcohol is too much. No one knows how much damage is caused by the actual alcohol and how much is cause dby the cigarettes and other unhealthy behaviors that go right along with drinking. I know a child with permanent brain damage whose mother had one drink during her entire pregnancy. I also know babies whose mothers drank gallons a day every day and they have no problems at all. One is too much.

You're doing the right thing by sticking up for your baby.

Kathi

 

1/2 cup at most every once in a while of wine while pregnant will not harm the baby and is actually good for the mom. But it like all things while pregnant talk to your dr first.

 

That is coming from a DR. My sister just had a baby not even a month ago and her DR. told her that is she wanted a 1/2 cup of red wine with a meal would be fine every once in a while.
She also told her that problems arise when women drink on a regular basis more than three drinks at a time.

That is why I said that women should talk to their DR's first. They will give you the best and most knowledgeable advice. But I have heard that very small amounts is ok.

 

Personally, I hate any CIO (cry it out) advice that I get. My pediatritian recently gave me an info packet that said to let baby cry up to an HOUR! I couldn't believe it. An hour? If I cried for an hour it would leave me with terrible physical after-effects! I get a terrible headache after a menstrual-hormonal bawl (never lasting anything near an hour) so I can't imagine how much worse a baby would feel after being left an hour to cry! Sore throat, headache, muscle-aches, upset tummy, plus the mental trauma! Needless to say we are looking for another pediatrition - for that and other annoying reasons. Like they seem to think supplementing with forumla is the cure-all. Ugh...

 

just because it came from a doctor doesn't mean it should be followed. Lots of doctors are complete idiots
NO AMOUNT OF ANCOHOL IS SAFE

 

I am saying that I would follow it. But Dr's do tell women that it is ok. I have heard it from more than one pregnant woman that I know that they have been told similar things by their Dr's

 

Let me repeat myself. I have seen a case where the mother had ONE Glass of wine One time during her pregnancy and her baby was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. No one can tell you how much alcohol is too much for any one baby. The ONLY safe amount of alcohol todrink while you are pregnant is NONE.

I have personally had doctors prescribe medicine that when I got to the pharmacy I was told if I took it it could kill my baby. Doctors do not know nearly as much as they need to know about pregnancy and the effects of drugs on the baby.

Kathi

 

you seem to sound pretty confident of yourself here not to follow your own advice or be willing to give it out to other people

 

I'm just wondering about one thing...is it safe for me to still be smoking pot while pregnant..?
See, I have MS and was told that the amount of pain medication I have to take would KILL my baby, and the only other thing that kills my pain I get is a little bit of herb...I do live in an area where it's legal for medicanal uses FYI...
Just my sister-in-law says that it'll hurt my baby...but I think she's full of it and saying that because she doesn't like the face that me and my husband smoke in the first place...