doesn't love me back :(

helloooo it's me beatlerific. haven't been on the forum in a couple of years but i'm back... with an issue.
i am in love with my boy, dave, and have been for quite some time now.
last may (2005), i made a HUGE mistake.. i will never live it down.
because of it, we broke up.
i am still in love with him even though we've been apart for some time.
i would still go see him, after the break up, and we'd usually end up having sex which for me was very special still. for him.. not so much.
he says he doesn't feel the same anymore and it hurts me SO much.
he still cares about me of course, but he doesn't know if he loves me.
i've been pining after him for a year, with no positive outcome...
in july (2006), however, he told me he really missed me and that we should try to hang out and see what happens.
well, we did hang out and most of these times, i was really drunk. i would usually just end up passing out on his bed.
he thinks i'm out of control and i need to get over him.
i try so hard to get over him but every boy i meet, i end up comparing to dave; no one is ever good enough. no one can compare to dave. EVER.
i can't get over him and it's been about a year since we broke up.
i'm hurting so badly... i want to move on but i simply can't.
i'm hoping that one day he will realize that we truly have something special but i just don't know if that will ever happen.
i feel terrible for what happened.. i lost his trust and respect.
i wish he could just move on and forgive me. i would never hurt him again.
all i think about are our special memories... being happy with each other.. being able to confide in each other.. just pure and simple love.
love is so very painful. it's never perfect. or at least that's how i feel.
i don't know what to do. it's making me miserable.
he says he needs "alot of space".. and now i'm in the same city as him, and it's harder than ever before.
i just don't know what to do anymore.
HELP. please. reach out and lend a helping hand to me.
sincerely, lovesick in chicago.

 

the earth is over populated with this things call humans = hint look for another dont waste time and time is something we humans have little in this miserable planet.

 

looking for someone, i have found, does not work. i think it's best when that someone comes to you in some way or another... in the mean time, however, that boy is all i think about. it's harder than it sounds. trust me.

 

HI...I been through the same thing...and was told the same thing Daves telling you, and I hate to say it, but he's not coming back. When someone says they need their space..it means they want you to leave them alone. I know it feels like your whole world has crashed...but once you finally tell yourself its over...it will eventually stop hurting, and you will be able to move foreward...Good luck !!!!

 

Hi, I remember you

Truth is, only time will tell if he loves you...there isn't any action you can take that will win him back. i would suggest staying in distant contact with him, not calling him a lot etc.

He will either fade from your mind, and when you are ready a new guy will appear...or maybe in a while you will start hanging out again, and can have a fresh start.

I don't know if you do this or not, but having continual heavy conversations with him will push him away further. I'd suggest taking a fresh look at this

 

but all the pictures, the laughter and the sadness...
it hurts so much.

no guy will ever compare.
and he hasn't found anyone else..
he says he needs time for himself.
do you think, if i gave him time, that if he really loved me, he would come back?
he almost did in july and that was only two months ago...
i'm trying so hard to be optimistic.

 

thanks so much guys. i don't talk to him much, he's just always in my mind. we were so happy. i'm trying to pick up the pieces and move on! time will tell how he feels i suppose

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, OOOOOOOOO

Love hurts
love scares
love wounds and mares any heart
Not tough nor strong enough to take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
love is like a cloud
holds a lot of rain.
Love hurts
love hurts
I'm young I know but even so
I know a thing or two I've learned from you
I've really learned a lot
really learned a lot.
Love is like a stove
burns you when it's hot.
Love hurts
love hurts
some fools rave of happiness

Ahem, that's a little bit of nazareth for ya. Anyway, Time is the only thing that can heal a broken heart. Sometimes it hurts but I think you should keep your distance, the longer you stay away from him, the easier it will be to move on. And as time goes on, you'll find yourself becoming attracted to other men besides this guy. I know it hurts, but you don't need him.

 

Everyone above me has been right so far, so I won't repeat the same old stuff. All I can do is wish you luck, and tell you that it will get better, in time. Trust in that. I have been there too, and time does heal old wounds.'

Best wishes.

 

Beatle, hunny. I gotta tell you that I agree with Erzebet, on this one. I've also been told that one my ex's "needed some space" and it meant that we were breaking up. It just took me awhile to realise that, and I felt stupid over it.

If this guy doesn't want to be with you, then you gotta move on. You're a wonderful person, and oh so very beautiful, and one day you will find someone else you love even more. Promise.

Love and Light,
James

 

I remember you too! Hi!

My advice is don't look for anyone, don't look for him. Be on your own. Sometimes people need to see that you can do something different, in order to put trust in you again, to see you as a new person. That doesn't mean you need to go change everything about yourself, but it'd probably helpful for you to be on your own, learn new things about yourself and don't try to get into a relationship or find guys that remind you of him, or don't quite compare to him. If he wants to get back with you eventually he'll contact you. You sitting around waiting for him is really only going to make it worse for you, and make you look desperate and unattractive to him.

 

thanks guys. hannah, great advice. i do need time on my own. i just miss boys in general. haha but yes, i'm gonna work on SELF!
you guys are the best.

 

Hope you feel better soon, i know this feeling.

Is it too late in the thread and too personal to ask what happened as to why you broke up?

 

My bed ALWAYS has room for one more, cutie pie.

 

ahh that sounds really tempting...
too bad i'm far away!

 

Why let that stop you?

 

aww how can i get there?

 

Take the next plane, darlin.

 

wish i could! too bad i have classes and all that jazz...

 

read He's Just Not That Into You by greg behrendt and liz tucillo - look it up on amazon.com - it's actually a pretty good read and makes a lot of sense. it's a no-nonsense how to get over someone book. and it's not filled with psychobabble like a lot of other books - it's just straightforward and common sense. your "love" for this guy is masked as love - it is a product of fear of moving on, and of obsession and infatuation. read it. trust me. it will help.