Do you think people are born gay?

Albert Ellis the psychologist said people aren't born gay. He cites an example of a man who was seduced from gay to straight by a woman. He says there aren't more because gays aren't willing to change.

Do you think people are born gay? I was straight in high school and was bisexual at age 10 and then at age 20. I don't know what I am now, not big on labels, maybe heteroflexible, maybe bisexual. I masturbate to girls and get aroused sometimes when I see a woman but when I have sex with them I don't feel aroused.

 

I won't believe that anyone is born gay until someone can identify "the gay gene".

It really comes down to several biological, environmental and social factors.


To be honest, I don't have a clear answer though. My gut tells me no.

 

Yes, I Most Certainly Was...:biker:



Cheers Glen.

 

Yes I do.
I work with horses and know "gay" horses (mares that will only sexually interact with mares, geldings only interested in other geldings and stallions that wont mount mares, only other male horses).

We can't map a lot of genes. Most of the human genome we don't understand. In horses, we can't map the sooty gene - this is a gene that takes a normal colour and turns it darker by adding dark highlights in the coat. Now this should be relatively easy to test for as it is a physical attribute - yet we are unable to (despite being able to test for any other colour or colour modifier under the sun and cloning horses for breeding/competition purposes). There is SO much that we don't understand about genetics that there is just no way that you can say it's not genetic.

I was at school with a black boy here in Africa that has been "fabulous" since Grade 2 (age 8) when I met him. Here in SA a lot of black communities still don't accept being gay AT ALL - and being openly gay will warrant a beating, sometimes even murder. Now this boy I know's father would be very harsh towards him for being more feminine than he should (spankings and constant punishment). He still today, at 18, has to watch what he says and does around people of his own race for fear of being physically injured. The repercussions are huge. Do you think that if it was AT ALL a choice - he would have chosen to be gay and to be exiled from his own race and his own family? I think not.

 

I would imagine that person was a little less gay, and leant more into bisexuality.

Maybe to a certain degree sexuality is environmental …
That person accepted the idea he was now not gay anymore because he was told he as no longer gay.
Maybe he will spend the rest of his life as a straight man.
Maybe he won't.

Maybe we are all born with a neutral sexuality and we just lean either way more as we grow.
I can't say I was definitely born not gay, but I can tell you for sure I am not now.

Why do homosexuals have to justify being gay anyway?
What does it matter if they were or were not born a certain way?

 

My opinion..... Yes I think some are.

 

Yes. I think so. I never remember a moment in my life where I made a choice to not be gay. I have 2 gay nieces and we have talked about this. They say they never made the choice either. it's just a matter of listening to their gut on who they are attracted to.

One of my nieces is engaged to a beautiful woman that was married to a man for many years. She got divorced and is now engaged to my niece. I was curious how she could be married to a man for 20 years and then "switch teams" so seamlessly so I asked her about it. She said she doesn't fall in love with a gender. She falls in love with a person. It doesn't matter what gender they are. Makes perfect sense to me.

 

Probably.

 

If you're not born gay then it's a choice? No, it could be psychological for example. It's not between born and a choice. There are other options.

 

I would definately not rule out that it can be different things but it seems clear it's often not a choice and also not always depends on social and enviromental factors. It's hard to tell to what extent those factors can influence a persons sexuality but if you take in account gay people come from all kinds of different environmental and social backgrounds it seems unlikely to be the deciding factor in this regard.

 

does it matter if they are?

 

Not to people who accept them probably, but it might matter in the sense that it can help spreading understanding to the more clueless.

 

too true asmodean

 

Why does it matter whether you're accepted as a gay or not? Live your life who cares. It would be like the same thing as me forcing you to believe being gay is wrong.

 

Some people say they have always had one unchanging sexual preference. Some say their preference has changed since they became adults. I have no reason to think any of them are lying, so my conclusion is that the situation isn't the same for everybody.

Also, you have to consider the fact that true bisexuals are in a position to make a decision about how they're going to handle things. Their actions can be straight, gay, or bisexual.

I realize I left out transgender people, but they are fewer in number, and I haven't figured all that out yet. I have limited personal exposure.

That's the key legal and moral point. People have the right to be themselves, regardless of how they came to be the way they are.

 

You've started this thread, but you are only going to really pay attention and respond to answers you have interest in.

You've said that you fap to some girls, the ones you fap to would have certain characteristics in common. But when it comes to sex, you are never actually aroused by a girl.

So no matter how you or anyone else labels you, you are always go to be bi in that way

As for the question is there a gay gene. The error is in the context of the question itself, what is gay, what is a gene.

There isnt a single gene that is immutable and defines charateristics free from the influence of anything and everything else.

Even with something like eye colour, you see a mother and daughter with blue eyes, seemingly the same colour eyes to you, but to a computer that can distinguish trillions of different colours, the difference is notable and measurable. And seeing them together doesntactually prove the daughter inherited that gene from the mother

The majority of the time gay people have to assert they were born gay is usually in defense of those that say they can change. Doant mean they actually believe it are really sure what it means. The sexuality is fluid crap always comes from the bisexuals and it is the same thing as heterosexuals telling you you just havent met the right person, its just about how THEY want you to change for them, to what they are going to be comfortable with.

The question itself doesnt exist, you are not talking about if people are gay at 5 mins old, that doesnt make any sense

 

I am not entirely sure the question is actually meaningful.

I have never been remotely sexually interested in men. Right from the very first moment of my very first feelings of sexual awareness, I have always known that I am interested in women ... and only women.

Was I born that way? What does the question mean? I was not sexually aware at birth. Should I extrapolate back from the moment of my first sexual awareness? Would it be valid to do so? And ... ultimately ... who cares anyway??

I am now the way I am now. What else matters??

 

So the question is: to be born gay, as in Born Free, OR to be choosing gay as sexually permissive in a certain way?

 

I did have some sexual activities with guys when I were young & it was sometimes just curiosity that bought it on. We never attempted anal sex.
Even thou I'm married (for 30 yrs now) I still fantasise about having sex with other guys. No kissing on lips type of acts - just foreplay & maybe anal or masturbation ?

 

yes