I remember having my heart race at the thought of seeing - at having an empty feeling around my heart when plans did not materialize. I remember the long brown hair cascading around my face when we held each other. I remember the rush, the excitement, the electricity of knowing I was about to be with "her". Oh, and I remember the pain when I thought she would appear - and did not. I have been with others, I married another - but there will never be another.
Do you remember lying with them, laughing with them - the joy, the pain, the tears. Do you remember holding hands, embracing, kissing, making love when there is no one else in the world but you and them - and perfectly happy in that. I remember - and if you are young I hope you find the same thing. And you will if when that person comes along.
I'll be the first to admit, although I am often the cynic, that my first 'love' was also very impressionable on me. In fact, I feel sad when looking back on such a lovely time. I was only a kid, so whilst the world was all so liberating anyways- having a gorgeous lass on my arm just made the incredible even more so.
Yes.She came to school when she was 10 and I was 11. We went together from then until my senior year. I can almost smell her neck and black,curly hair ,as if we were back dancing in the gym at this prom or that dance when certain songs from the 50s play. She had a funny little pigeon toed walk that was unique and ther were always tiny beads of sweat on her upper lip in the summer.She ran with a group of 8 or 9 girls that called themselves "the rat pack" and mostly dated my friends. We never had intercourse,but it wasn't for lack of trying on my part. That was OK--I was thrilled just to be around her. Like a lot of my old friends and lovers--she's dead. I still have a picture of her that I come across occasionally. It still moves me.
My first love experience was very powerful to say the least. I know it was silly to expect young lovers to last, but it felt so real. She lived with me 9 months and I remember how happy I was to wake up next to her every day. She said that she always wanted to be with me and made me feel so special. Then one day (our one year, coincidentally) I get a TEXT saying she was leaving me. I didn't see it coming, it was completely out of the blue, she didn't want to talk to me anymore and pretty much ignored me. Wasn't long til i found out she was running around with a friend of mine. The pain of having that person who meant so much to me completely dropping me altogether, was almost enough to make me wish I never met her. I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole thing.
That being said, I learned Alot from the whole experience including lots about myself and what I actually want and need from life. Feeling more like myself again so it's all good.
Interestingly, just today I posted about my "Strawfire Romance." Must be the alignment of stars or something. http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=397416&f=282 During high school I was one of those guys who was mostly invisible to girls. I did have fantasies about Linda McElroy but she was out of my league and I knew it. So, Haletwas my first real girlfriend when I was in the service, stationed in Turkey. A bunch of us servicemen were renting an apartment on Buyukada, a resort island in the Sea of Marmara. We stayed there on our rotating breaks of three days off. I saw Halet going to market one morning and gave chase. It was a romantic setting, and this 17-year-old Turkish girl fell for the 20-year-old American GI. All those testosterone/adrenalin rush feelings were present every time I saw her, or thought about her. Also those crushing moments when we were apart. I would take the long trips from base by taxi and ferry to see her for just a few moments before heading back. Young ppl do those things. We did forbidden things that could have probably cost my life if caught. It was a strawfire romance that burned quickly and brightly and left few ashes. But some it left. I still respond to the image of these young lovers and to the letters that she sent me after our tearful parting. The beautiful girl of the Summer of '65, if still with us is now 62 years old. I sometimes wonder about Halet. She likely married, had kids, now has grandkids - experienced a whole lifetime like I have. And, I like to think she remembers that Strawfire Romance with fondness as I still do.
i'm finding it hard to figure out if it was really love or if i just thought i was in love, cause i don't miss any of them.
I'm going to marry mine too Although, we broke up in between first falling in love and now being back together, but I think it shows that it was meant to be.