Do women always want to be romanced before sex?

I know a guy who is currently married. He's 51 and his wife is 50. They've had an up and down relationship, sex wise, for the past few years. When they met some 18 years ago she weighed about 105 lbs soaking wet. She had long wavy hair and was very light skinned. His dream woman. Over the years she's put on some 50 lbs or more because she said she was tired of being the skinny girl. Even after 2 kids in her first marriage. She's also started to trim her hair. Things my boy didn't really like.

Well, the first 6 or 8 months of this year they've only had sex like twice and she had gotten to the point to where she was complaining about him not wanting to do anything. He told her he still loved her but wasn't attracted to the new her. She can't get into any of her clothes and her health is starting to be affected. Ok, in a concerted effort to fix things he started having sex with her again. In the past month they've had sex twice but it seems that now when he tries she's constantly turning him down. She asked him why he just doesn't want to cuddle anymore with her at night or she's just not in the mood. For months she was complaining about not having sex now she doesn't want it.

He said that he asked a few close guys about what to do and one suggested that he try to romance her more. Call her during the day just to say hello or send her a sexy text. Give her hugs for no reason or kiss her on the neck just out of the blue. The guys suggested that men and women are different. It takes a man little to no time to get in the mood whereas it may take a woman all day to work up the urge and those little things her man does helps with that. I guess my question is this. Are there women out there who always need to all day romancing before they get in the mood or are there some women who are like light switches. It doesn't take much to get them going. And then I look at it this way. When you've been with someone for a length of time, in this guy's case, almost 20 years, do you still need to play the subtle hint game before you get any action? Let's face it, you're in your 50's and have been married some 10 years. Ladies, does your man still have to write sexy notes, send flowers to your job out of the blue, or do the things he use to do while you were dating in order to get some or do you not relax those requirements once you're in a committed relationship / marriage? If he doesn't push all the right buttons or put the right code into the lock does he always get shut down? Do women ever send their guy a text during the day to say, "hey, wanna have sex tonight?"

 

I would say depends on the woman think most just need to be drunk.

 

Some women do get turned on like a light switch. When we were sexually active I would look at her and she at me. Ten minutes later my cock was in her pussy after she came on my tongue. I'd step out of the bedroom dressed for work and she'd drag me back in for a quickie. (Got one of our children that way) But there were times when I brought flowers or laid a card on the table for no special reason and later that evening we were mating. Or a phone call from her waiting in the parking lot for lunch. This lasted most of our married life and continues. At least the romance part where I bring little gifts every so often. No more sex because she can't but plenty of romance and kindness. So yes, if you want it to intimacy can happen. But the key is to talk with each other and connect often, as in everyday.

 

So, essentially, all you really want to know is just what do what do women want..... Reminds me of a joke.

A man finds a genie in a bottle...his first wish, he really wanted a bridge to Hawaii so he could just drive there from California.. The genie comes back with how difficult it could be, the structural challenges, time, materials, the ocean depths...he didn't think he could do it.

So, the man says, well, ok if I can't have the bridge, maybe you could simply answer a question that's been torturing me for most of my life.

Oh? What question?

What do women want?

The genie removes his turban, scratches his head and and thinks and thinks and thinks..........and then asks....

Do you need that bridge to be two lanes or four??

 

I like to avoid the qualifier "always" because there are exceptions but in general yes they do.

 

When a parson enjoys the company of another person he is enjoying the atmosphere which is created when they are together. It is kind of like 2 puzzle pieces that when together they create a wonderful and pleasing picture. When one of the pieces no longer fit and in this case it is the obesity, then the pieces no longer fit and the atmosphere has changed.

This is very obvious. When they sit and talk about how the picture has changed and the entire atmosphere becomes somewhat toxic, the weight issue needs to be raised. Not size shaming here, just being realistic.

It becomes apparent that if she chooses to not curb her dietary activities which are changing the landscape of the relationship then she must understand that she is putting her SO in a subordinate position or second to her eating habits and weight. She just does not feel that her SO is worth the effort. In that case live in a sexless non snuggling relationship or split.

We all make choices. She has chosen her way of living.

I see it time and again when a heavy set woman becomes divorced she starts to lose weight as she attempts to attract a new mate. She wants to look pleasing to his eyes. Then she once again gets married and begins to get heavier.

Stop, think and look around and see the obvious solution to this common problem. The same goes for men.

 

My wife always expects romance as part of sexual activity. Even when drunk.

 

Mine does not. On date night she gets on the bed, opens her legs and says start licking. If I try to give a little foreplay she says, "I'm not one of your old girl friends just lick it." After she cums with my tongue she says now stick that cock in me I want to keep cumming.

 

Ah, a woman that knows what she wants.

 

See.. I have a bit of an issue here. Eventually, we all outgrow our outer beauty. I plan to grow old and wrinkly with my husband.. gray hair.. the works. All the while there will be plenty of young hotties still around in their twenties and thirties. That won't change. But the key is, you either grow together or you don't.. You either love someone further than skin deep, or you don't. It sounds like your friend expected her to be her twenty year old self as a woman of 50.. I'm not saying there aren't the J-Lo's of the world, but most of people aren't looking flawless at 50. It doesn't mean you can't look and feel good! I just think that your buddy here isn't appreciating the total package and his wife feels that.. being together for 2 months or 20 years you can sense if someone is still into you.. it goes well beyond just having sex and even just beyond romance.. it's: do you have fun together, is being in each other's company easy, do you feel light as a feather around them but also challenged (in a healthy way).. my parents have been together for 40 years and they used to have those beach bod, sweet 70's hair and of course the porn 'stache that men used to have all the time.. they don't look quite like in their late 50's anymore but they adore each other.. they kiss, they sit together on the couch, they take turns making dinner for each other.. if your guy wants a happy, healthy relationship it's not going to come by forced romance.. just based on what you said (and I could totally be wrong) but it doesn't sound like they enjoy each other as whole people.. or at least your guy doesn't.. maybe they just aren't meant for forever.. I hate when relationships that have lasted so long don't make it, but people change and you either grow together or grow apart.. I mean just look at Pierce Brosnan and his wife over the span of all those years and the changes in both of them.. I hate to use celebs but a lot of those guys always trade up for younger chicks when they hit middle age because they're famous and rich.. him and his gal are still standing.. and (no digs being thrown here) but she doesn't look like she did in their younger days.. all in all, a woman or a man for that matter can tell when they are not appreciated.. that's why she doesn't want sex

 

Forget the romance, flowers and candles. You want her to *uck you silly then fill her TUMMY!!!

Made this tonight for my girl, Challah braided bread but made with sweet milk bread (olive oil, 10% coffee cream, sugar). Egg wash with a caramelized sweet / salty crust. Guys this is pillow-y soft, like biting into a cloud with a sweet / salty / crispy shell! Served with cheese and a glass of red. She's gonna *uck my brains out tonight for this. I fear for my safety.

 

Well, are your brains still in?

 

No. Love it when my wife tells me she's horny and wants fucked or wants me to lick her and make her cum.

 

like other people have said, it depends on each woman, there's no single answer who works for all women as a whole

 

AND if it works one day, of course it won't work the next......

 

I need some licking and kissing before sex. Alcohol too

 

I agree every person is different you have to discover what it is they like and what turns them on or off it’s all about exploration

 

It really depends on the place, time and the relationship to her. My wife uses kissing and flirting to initiate romance, but the point is she just wants to have sex. She needs her orgasm, and is a sexual woman. We are a happily married senior couple, that use sex for our health. The friends we play with…the woman just wants sex and leave romance out of it. Horniness plays a big roll.

 

My girl sometimes wants to kiss and cuddle before sex but most of the time she wants to get her head onto my cock as soon as its hard. We don't really do foreplay unless one of us wakes up horny in the middle of the night. Then we end up kissing and touching each other passionately and have a desperate lustful fuck.

 

I personally miss a lot of foreplay, touching, and kissing in a relationship.
Yes, we sometimes have foreplay before sex, but more often not than not.
And actually, my partner works very hard and I do too, but still, I think that it is necessary to find time for each other so that would not feel lonely.