Do they give you a choice?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by moon_flower, Jun 5, 2006.

  1. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    My cousin (who is due next month) and I were talking about childbirth the other day. She wants a C-Section done....she's really freaked out about having a baby come out of her cha cha and no man ever wanting her again, I guess. She asked if the doctor gives you a choice?
    I'm still going au natural if, no worries :D. She just asked me if I knew or if I knew of anyone that might know.
  2. wiggy

    wiggy Bitch

    I think you should say to her that although a baby is big and min min is small - it will shrink back to nearly normal sizes - with a few pelvic floor excerisers all should be fine

    You can choose but depends on where you live and what type of doc you have depends on what you get.

    Maybe even tell her that if she was to choose a c-section she would be off her feet for quite a hwile and cant have another baby for a few years. And there are soooo many risks - if she can choose she should choose natural - why go through surgery if you dont have to
  3. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine


    As if having a scar from [unnecessary] major abdominal surgery is going to be any more desirable. The changes in those muscles will happen anyway, with the weight of the baby bearing down on them for all those months. And hey if were really that terrible then there'd be no such thing as younger siblings.
    Ah well, her choice and all.

    Guess she'd have to discuss it with her doctor. Have heard of womyn having scheduled c-sections by choice.
  4. RyvreWillow

    RyvreWillow Member

    oy. i suggest she talk to someone who has had a baby both ways, either in person or on a message board like this. i don't know of any c-section moms who felt lucky to give birth that way.

    If sex is really important to her, tell her she'll be getting back to it MUCH faster with a vaginal delivery (we're talking average recovery of a couple of weeks vs months). She can also get back to exercising, etc quicker, because she doens't have to wait for an incision to heal.
  5. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    Thanks, ladies. I'll let her know. I'll also tell her to go talk to a doctor about the pros and cons of the C-Section. She seems hellbent on having one, though. I've been trying to change her mind (as I kinda figured recovery would be a lot quicker with vaginal birth and I've heard the cha cha shrinks back to next-to-normal size).
  6. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

    My yoni is tighter after having had a vaginal birth! I can think of nothing worse than what I experienced those first six months after my cesarean. My baby couldn't nurse, but formula made her colicky, so I was pumping as much of my breastmilk as I possibly could, day and night. I was traumatized and depressed. I hurt so bad, but they wouldn't give me more pain pills. And I overdid things too soon, causing adhesions to form that were so painful I had to have them surgically removed later.

    Get her a copy of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and tell her to throw away that what to expect book that is filling her head with fears. If it's not the what to expect book, maybe it's her doctor who is frightening her. She needs to be surrounded by positive energy, not fear and intimidation, or she will get that cesarean regardless of whether she wants it or not.
  7. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    I agree. I have had 4 C sections, I wanted NONE of them, but have a pelvic deformity which prevented me from giving birth vaginally (despite trying, for 56 hours the first time, and 24 hours the second time, and pushing for hours with no fetal descent) I would have given ANYTHING to have been able to have a vaginal birth. The recovery from a C Section is no picnic, it hurts like hell, especially when you are up every 30 minutes taking care of the baby.

    There are doctors who will do sections on request, this is ridiculous, as the risks of major surgery are MUCH higher, in an otherwise healthy womyn, than a vaginal birth. The death rate of C section moms in DOUBLE that of vaginal birth moms, and, unless there is an overidding MEDICAL reason, vaginal birth is always preferable.
  8. sundew

    sundew Member

    You ladies despite anything else, always have that big potential *OUCH* factor looming over your heads with childbirth, so whatever compaints I have about being a guy, I have to try and remember that one.

    I'm so glad nothing as big as a baby has to come out of something so small as a "cha-cha" in my body no matter how elastic and ingeniously-crafted it is. *watering eyes..ouch*

    Anyway, as a person who knows nothing about the technicalities and has no first hand experience, I hereby agree with Maggie Sugar.
    I've also heard more than one man commenting on how post-birth, once things are back to normal, that things are even BETTER than normal, if correct exercises are done. A friend told me this, not to be too vivid, but that he once dated a single mother with 2 kids, natural births, and she was...well, the opposite of what you might think (in a good way) so that's some hope for your friend.
  9. JayzzMama

    JayzzMama Member

    I had an 8lb 13oz child come out of my yoni and we (DH and meself) can't tell a difference at all between before and after. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I can orgasm better than before! I think mindset during delivery helps though. I visualized and talked my yoni open and the doc who delivered me was positively amazed that I made it through intact.
  10. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

    I'm gunna agree with jayzzmama...and everyone else here.
    Leane was 9lbs 3oz...I stretched a bit, but I also didn't do the kegals as much as I should have...however, sex feels better to me now too.....I was also so tight before that cody most of the time couldn't even get it in and when he did, it burned like it's sooooooo much more pleasurable.
    According to cody, he says that he doesn't feel any difference at all.
    Our yonis were naturally designed to give birth, so anything that she is thinking about it 'warping' her forever is quite a bit messed up.I would stress to her that surgery be avoided unless there is a grav emergency.
    Why anyone would choose that over natural child birth is beyond me......
  11. sugrmag

    sugrmag Uber Nerd

    I had both a natural birth and an emergency c-section, and let me tell you, I hated every moment of the c-section. I still have problems with my incision three+ years later. Vaginal births are nothing compared to the pain of major surgery.
  12. HippyFreek2004

    HippyFreek2004 changed screen name

    Plus, i like the comment made earlier...

    If having vaggie births made things that much different, we wouldn't have younger siblings. :p
  13. yarrow_sun

    yarrow_sun Member

    She may be able to find a doc who would do it, but I would hope that finding one wouldnt be easy! I had a vaginal birth the first time and even with the 4th degree tear, I would choose it again over the recovery (pain) time after the c-section I had the second time.
  14. hummblebee

    hummblebee hipstertist.

    Just putting in my 2 cents - though I've never had a baby, I did have surgery almost two years ago. I had to have my right ovary and fallopian tube removed due to torsion caused by a cyst. The external incision, from what I understand, is virtually the same, and mine is STILL tender after all this time. And it was months afterward before I could have sex or even poo without some major discomfort. Surgery is not worth it! (Not to mention, laboring is healthy for baby, develops their lungs, right?)
  15. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Nobody could have said it better. That is one of the things a vagina is FOR. If it "ruined" the vagina, then the human race would never have survived. Babies are supposed to come out of there.
  16. sandpedlar

    sandpedlar Member

    "Maybe even tell her that if she was to choose a c-section she would be off her feet for quite a hwile and cant have another baby for a few years."
    Lying to her isn't going to get you anywhere.
    Your question was, I believe, "is there a choice?"
    Unfortunately, the answer is yes, there is. There are plenty of docs who would love the opportunity to be able to schedule a baby.
    Ina Maye Gaskin's book is fantastic.
    My emergency c-section healed up quite well, after a difficult labor. In fact, I was begging for it after 24 hours of induced labor. My incision never hurt and I had zero complications. I have actually heard of very few, from the women I know who also had c-sections. The healing after my second went rather well, also. The physical part anyway. The surgery itself IS a living nightmare. Very intense.
    If your cousin(right?) is self-conscious of a yoni issue, I wonder how she'll do with the mind-blow that is being hyper-aware during major abdominal surgery.
  17. Tarto

    Tarto Member

    My first was born vaginally, the other 3 were c-sections. The pain of healing from the c/s was much harder to deal with than the pain of the vaginal, at least for me. Its also supposed to be better for the babies to squeeze out than be cut out, it helps get the fluid from their lungs.

    I stretched, but it all came back together, just like everyone said.
  18. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

    man, if i'd had a choice, i'd totally go vaginal. now i have this scar across my belly, my rectus muscles have been destroyed and the recovery time was so long. it was wretched. after spending 16 months of my life on bedrest, and with the complications of my c-sections, i'm a physical wreck. not to mention the pscyhological toll that surgery has one you. it's craziness.
  19. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    Thanks ladies!
    I went today to the doctor for my monthly check-up and got some booklets for her about C-Section, plus I've let her read all of your responses. I think she's probably going to go with the natural birth (using an epidural, she says).
    She said she'd rather deal with healing her cha cha back to normal size for a little while than not being able to enjoy her baby on account of the c-section wounds.
    :D Thanks for all the advice and stories.
  20. cool!!

    I can only support what everyone else says here because as far as I could see they all agreed! wish her luck and from someone who didn't have a choice tell her that there are some women who would trade places in a blink of an eye for a choice!

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