Do these kinds of things ever work out?

A little back story: When I was 15/16 I dated a guy I went to high school with. We were close. We broke up and I started dating a friend of his (yes, I was a terrible person...but it was high school). He didn't fight it because he wanted me to be happy and thought his friend did that for me.

Fast forward a bit: He disappeared off the face of the Earth for a while. We both moved on, got married, had children. He divorced 2 years ago. I'm newly separated from my husband with no real thought of working things out.

Fast Forward to now: We started talking a few months ago when he had a scare that he may have had a terminal illness and he was trying to make things right in his life and called. It turned out to be a false alarm and we've been texting, messaging and talking on the phone most of the day, every day since. Old feelings are coming back strong and new feelings are even stronger. I know I am just ending a marriage and I haven't seen him in 18 years and I really shouldn't be jumping into a new relationship, especially with a man who lives almost 2000 miles away...but my heart tells me that I am in love with him. I never really got over him and now it feels like a second chance. I am going to see him in a few weeks and we have already talked about him relocating to be closer to me if after seeing each other again, we still feel this strongly.

Do things like this ever work out? I'm not sure my heart can handle it if it doesn't.

 

sounds like it could work out just fine. no guarantees though.

the fact that you haven't had much time to get over the end of your marriage doesn't sound good though.

good luck!

 

Of course they can work out.

If you believe that it is meant to be and if you feel that if could be true love - that which everyone searches for - then go for it.
You have nothing to lose, though the fear of it not working out is always on one's mind.

The key is to go at the pace that you feel is right. If you want to take things slower, then that's the course you take.

 

It rarely works out when one or both parties are fresh out of a long term relationship. Period.

Sure, there are exemptions, and you may be one of them. But statistically speaking the odds are against you.

I strongly suggest giving it some time before having him relocate. Learn to be happy by yourself first. Work on you. Most of the time in situations like this, fear of being alone drives people to commit to things they aren't emotionally ready for.

 

What about him? He's supposed to uproot his entire life for her, and if in a few months she realizes that her feelings were mixed up because of her divorce and made a mistake, what's he supposed to do then.

I think that having him relocate on the off chance you could rekindle a long lost relationship so soon after a divorce is very selfish.

Giving her feelings time to sort themselves out is the best thing to do in my opinion.

 

My response was more to do with the feelings of the OP, given she's the one asking the question.

 

I'm not having him relocate. That was his idea and I won't willfully let it happen until we know where we stand on this relationship.

 

I want updates on this! It sounds like it could be wonderful if it works out.

 

Update: Things are still working out well. We're on the phone or skype for hours at a time. I am going to see him in early October. I can't remember the last time I've been this happy.

 

/Fixed

 

Great to see things are progressing so well.
All the best for it moving forward.

 

Just an update. Everything just keeps getting better and better. I've been to see him a few times, and he's been to see me a few times. I pick him up tonight from the airport and get to spend a solid amount of time with him. My kids have met him and really liked him. His son has met me, and the same. The kiddos get to meet this weekend!

 

hey, congratulations! :sunny:

 

It sounds like it will work to me.

 

sounds good to me

hope you're having a happy holiday together

 

So, he and his son have moved here and are living with my sons and I. We've had a few rough moments...as to be expected...but things are great.

 

I claim full responsibility for this :sunny:

 

aw it was nice to go through this thread and find a happy ending at the end of it I'm a hopeless romantic about things like this. Congrats!

 

The time thing is no big deal. The distance thing sucks. Also, if you are ending your marriage, probably like the rest of us who ended a marriage, it was over long ago, you are just putting a final end to it. You deserve some emotional uplifting. Enjoy it. Don't think about it so much and see what happens.

 

when I ended my last relationship (8 years) my doctor told me that I had to take 365 days off from woman in order to reset and not get into the same type of relationship.

Now I thought he was crazy but he's a doctor trained to fix crazy so I went on my way and didn't think about it. As soon as I'd meet a woman I'd kinda take a step back and see that yes they were the same as the last. I ended up taking about 8 months off and now I can spot them a mile away and keep my distance.

Jumping from one to the other is rarely a good thing but I wish you luck.