Do I have something written on my head that says 'don’t date me'?

K so I’m 21, and the only ‘girl friend’ I ever had let it slip she was going out with me because ‘I was her only way out’. As in, her only way out of town. Not from an abusive family or anything...

Any other girl I ask out usually just blows me off. Like the last girl I asked out actually seemed excited I asked her out. When the day came to actually go out, she rescheduled and went somewhere else with her best friend. (Not another guy) She kept rescheduling with some excuse until I just gave up. I asked her out in private, so it’s not like she felt obligated to avoid embarrassment or anything.

Hell, another girl that ASKED ME out still never ended up going out with me. Even though she asked me two or three times. I forgot why we never actually got to go out... But it didn’t happen, even though I wanted to.

So what’s the deal? I can’t even get a date with girls that WANT TO go out with me! Do I just have bad luck or what? I suppose I’m not exactly the best looking guy around... But definitely not ugly. I’ve had girls wink at me, other girls telling me I’m cute/good looking... Exactly to what degree ‘I’m cute’ or ‘good looking' I don’t know, but good enough to get girls to occasionally tell me

Could it be cause I’m not an asshole? I’ve had countless people tell me I’m a good person or that I’m the nicest guy they’ve met. Even my mom’s friend, who’s about 8 years older than me, told my mom that if she were younger that she’d go out with me. When I see girls my age with their boyfriends, they all seem like some combination of an ass mixed with an idiot. Or just a guy that’s solely seeking sexually opportunities.

Do I look too young for my age?
Everyone thinks I’m 15-17 years old, and they’re shocked when they see the birth date on my ID. Other people that are 21 look much older than me. Heck whenever I go somewhere with my 14 year old sister, some people think we’re on a date >.< (Which is kinda awkward...) I’d let my facial hair grow out a bit, but it looks so scruffy. I’d just date girls that are a little younger than me (18 years or older) but I don’t really like girls that are too young. And I probly wouldn’t get one to go out with me anyway lol

They think I’m gay?
I used to live on the eastern side of the country. While I was there, I just got the vibe that there were rumors going around that I was gay. Two or three people even implied it to me. Now I’m here on the other side of the country. So far I haven’t really gotten that vibe... I know I’m not exactly the ideal macho man around... Driving the biggest truck with the least mpg I can find; eating only the most destructive food around and shoveling in as much as possible, or disrespecting women in every way I can think of... But I’m not gay.

Anyone got ideas hows to loose the girl repellent? Too nice? Too young looking? Not ‘man enough’? Just bad luck?

 

If you do, I would suggest wiping it off.



A lot of getting girls has to do with confidence, attitude, and luck.

Thinking you're gay won't necessarily kill it, being nice won't necessary kill it, looking young won't necessarily kill it; those last two, are things we share.

How's your confidence? Could you be too shy/quiet? How do you act around girls you like? What would you describe your attitude as?

And finally, could it be that you just haven't met the right girls?

 

Its really hard to say what the problem is without knowing you in person. The reason most nice guys don't get girls is not because they're too nice but usually because they lack confidence. A guy thats super sweet and kind and considerate AND confident can be the sexiest man in the world, but without the confidence a nice guy can often come off as a little desperate.

I don't really know if thats the case with you, but you shouldn't really worry about those dates falling through. Instead you should start telling yourself that you're a great guy and any girl that stands you up just isn't worth it.

 

And really just focus on improving yourself, getting to know yourself, and liking yourself.

Love is the sorta thing that's really evasive when you're trying to catch it; but will basically just come to you when you peak it's interest.

But my questions still stand, and I may have more specific advice depending on your answers

 

The young ones usually like the "bad" ones ,it seems,until they realize that the good ones make better material for a serious relationship in the long run. Takes 'em a while-seems like most young girls like a jerk before they get some age on them. Puts you kind of in a tough spot.. Hang in-it'll get better.

 

the vibe i get from you is that you've just had some bad luck, and that you are overthinking things too much.

yes, a lot of inexperienced and unevolved females like assholes. however, even the smart ladies don't like a guy that over analyzes and thinks too much. chill the eff out and act more aloof.

 

I think you overcomplicate ur case. Be really nice to them, and the most important thing is, hang out with girls. If you do not hang out with girls, how could you know what they need?You have to experience yourself.

-I am a virgin, never had any kind of relationship,I do not say that I am proud of this, but neither depressed about it. I saw trough the others what they need, but I never really wanted to give them that.

 

Buy and read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. Your post indicates a guy who neither understands men nor women. Read it twice!

 

How were you raised? Was it by a single mother?

 

You won't learn about women from a book.

 

Just be yourself man. Let them come to you.

 

Do you want to get laid or do you want to hold hands?

Scratcho's right, chicks dig badasses, especially younger lasses. You mentioned that you look young, aren't macho, and you don't disrespect women.

You're going to have to fix those.

Let your facial hair grow, even if it looks like shit. If you look dirty, chicks will think that you don't care and they'll like that. Let your hair grow out and quit combing it. Start cursing a lot more, especially when you get pissed off. Start drinking whisky and smoking the occasional cigarette, especially around chicks.

It'll get you laid in no time. A lot of chicks aren't really into young, awkward, perhaps gay looking polite guys.

 

Hey Sitka, read more post less. You can learn a lot about people from books!

 

I knw where this is leading......I agree too If a guy grows with out a father figure I think he might have trouble learning male traits that will attract females. But I wont say thats the root of the problem.

 

lol

 

^^ this is advice I could have done with 20 years ago.

thanks internet for coming 20 years too late...

 

Have you spent the last 20 years coming too soon....?

 

Ha! Arigato!

 

same here. Am 22 but look 18. lol I used to get mad but now I see it as a compliment when commented on how young I look so I will look 25 when am 30!

 

Or he may grow up to be at ease in female company & have no problems relating to women.

All this male bonding and such can only lead to one thing - Latent homosexuality of the most destructive kind.