divorce

has anyone ever gone thru it?

tell me about it, if so.

mostly how long u were married, why the divorce and the emotions involved, ... before, during and after

i dont care about fiscal issues. more emotional ones. thnx!

 

Well, if you're my (soon to be ex) sister in law...you don't really give a fuck...

But that's a whole 'nother issue.

 

Don't get divorced.

 

I'm getting seperated as soon as I get out of Alaska. I got married too early and for the wrong reasons. She's in agreement.

 

i dont believe in divorce. i mean... it's not something ideal. if u marry someone, u love them and stability is good. family is good.

abuse...even if it's just emotional and verbal is NOT good.

 

you hit a key point right on the head. sooo relevant.

but doesnt that hurt a little? i mean... A LOT!!!

cause im sure u still love her no matter what...
doing what is best can suck in those ways....

 

there are many other ways to deal with those types of things.

 

On the 20th of this month I will celebrate 10 years divorced. I was married for 10 1/2 years. They were the longest 20 years of my life.

 

no but I lived with somone for a couple of years who I was engaged to and had joint accounts, his car and all that stuff so I pressume it was very similar. I guess the hardest part is losing your friend and changing your entire life, being independent. I mean you don't realize how really strong you are until a break up causes you to have to change your entire life, surroundings I mean everything. It depends on how well you are able to deal with change as oppossed to how much feeling you have for the person when you are intertwined to such a degree. It makes you pretty strong though and able to deal with being alone and not fearing a relationship ending because you know you'll be able to handle it since you handled a major change so well. Are you thinking about getting divorced?

 

I have had three and each one was different and all the issues were different too.
So would yours too and everyone else's on here.
The main thing is if you cannot look that person in the eye and say I want to spend the rest of my life with you---you should both be packing your shit up.
Oh and before anyone says that lame shit about staying together for the kids....HELLO? Your kids all mirror their parents.
So staying together for them just dooms them to being in a bad relationship like their parents.
Also...doing the martyr routine for years and staying unhappy is lame too. Years later-when you say I did not divorce so you could be happy just makes the kids feel like shit and guilty that YOU endured pain for them.
So go see a Certified Counselor and Stop trying to get answers on a Internet forum...or this a class project?

 

How deeply our lives are touched by that which we hate the most, and how shallow our ideals really are.

Judgement clouded and abused?

 

LOL No just living in the real world.

 

heh.


You don't know how right you are.




Kind of begs the question, don't you think?

 

i don't know if 8-1/2 years with one person really counts, since we weren't married and we were REALLY young. but it hurt, and i still miss my friend. but my friend sorta killed imself off and became a bit of a nightmare. i realized i wasn't helping him to recover his sanity, instead i was going down fast. i severed nearly all ties to my old life, because they were ties we shared and he needed more. i moved to an entirely different state to start again and to leave the old, bitter life behind for him, since he ws more attached to it. we're both better off and he's doing very well now. but it hurt like hell.

 

Wow lynsey that is how I feel about relationships..... I wasn't engaged but it was pretty much along those lines. I have alot to say about divorce but won't.

 

sigh Emily isn't it weird I mean you think it's going to be the hardest thing in the world and it turns out to by like 1/10th as hard as you expected it to and then it gets very freeing.

 

It's a bitch/hurts like Hell regardless of the initiator.

Best advice:
Just do it ASAP to allow you to get on w/the rest of your Life.
Look back only to avoid repeating past mistakes.


Godspeed,
A

 

I wanted out of my marriage about 20 minutes into it.

 

I will probably never get married..... and I feel okay with that.....

 

i dont know really. i mean, i dont WANT to.. i love him. but since my rape... arr gaarr (i got a journal on here, wink wink)... its like...

hes all i know and he IS worthy of love. that is what makes it hard. but the reason i was asking about this subject ties into recent things. i drink about twice a month now... sometimes up to six times a month but the rape and other things... the aids test coming back neggie and wow.. just sooo many things...

made me realize, if i can love and forgive everyone else, i can love and forgive me too. i got that job and i just started laughing and being ME again......... something i only was like as a young child...

in any case, divorce isnt what im LOOKING FOR... gar.. i mean, who the fuck looks for that?
but im also realizing that i need positive things in my life cause i deserve it. i have no idea what the future will hold but i know i dont deserve what he does to me now.... which is bring up the past a lot (i dont bring up how he used to hit me!!!) and tonight he sprayed air freshener in my face!! now that isnt physically abusive but it bordered soo close that it scary. ya know?

in any case.. he better realize that i love him and wont judge him but he better shape his ass up if he wants me in his life. strong trish is scary. she has a spine