Dirty One Liner Jokes

How do you get a nun pregnant?



Dress her up as an alter boy.

 

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?


Nothing, you already told her twice.

 

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=384943&page=31

 

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?



Wiped his ass.

 

Okay, this isn't a one liner, but I've always liked it;


A guys walks into his house one night with a duck under his arm, his wife comes to the door to greet him and he says;

"Honey, this is the pig I've been fucking."

His wife says;

"Uh, John, that isn't a pig."

Husband replies;

"I wasn't talking to you..."

 

pig fell in the mud..

 

What do you call a hillbilly girl who can run faster than her six brothers?


A virgin.

 

Too dirty. :toilet:

 

What do priests and McDonalds have in common?



They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.

 

Why don't old men eat their wives out?

Have you ever pulled grilled cheese apart?

 

What's the best part of anal sex with a 12 year old girl?

Pretending it's a 10 year old boy

 

What does the mafia and a pussy have in common?



One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

 

Why did they bury the dead homo face down?


In case his friends wanted to drop by for a cold one.

 

A guy stops by his homosexual friend's place to help him get ready to move;

"Hey man, can I help you pack your shit?"

 

Whats the difference between acne and a priest?



Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns twelve.

 

What goes: plop! plop! fizz!

2 babies in an acid bath.

 

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy dog have in common?



A wet nose.

 

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.

What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
They can smell it but they cant eat it!

What does a gay guy do when he's bored?
Shits in his hand and masturbates.

 

Do you know what a 6.9 is?
a good thing screwed up by a period

what are hemorrhoids to a gay man?
speed bumps

when does a cub become a boy scout?
when he eats his first brownie

what do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
full

what's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak

 

What do you call a truck full of dildos?


Toys for twats.