Direction. Where the hell am I going? I feel like this whole direction thing is becoming more and more of a question lately. I feel like Im waiting for something. I feel like I want to do something, but dont know what. Im on this exchange trip for a year. Its supposed to be a once in a lifetime chance, us exchange studnets are always reminded about that. So I think we all feel some need to have the "picture perfect" exchange trip, and we strive too hard for certain things. I think I just need to chill out and go along. But I feel confused. I dont know what I want right now. In general. Its a weird feeling. Im across the Atlantic from my family for a year, until the end of this July. And away from my friends. I just feel like theres something I always should be doing, or havent done. I dont want to waste time or just do nothing. I dont know. I just feel very unsure about everythign right now. What do I do??? I hate feeling indifferent, or unsure. I mean, Im loving this exchange trip, and Ive already grown up. And its fun learning the language and becoming fluent, and making friends and going out and partying. Ive just started doing that. I think its just all the adjusting to the new language and cutlure and attitudes towards things and everything. As you can tell, Im confused.
ahhh...i remember feeling that way...my brother did, too, until recently. dont worry about it. enjoy the time you have right now. your direction will be made known to you in due time.
If you're lucky, you'll never figure it out... I still haven't, probably still won't have in five years when I drop everything and wander.
Yeah. Ive chilled out today. But I was really freaked out yesterday. Ive never felt like that before. I like almost completely forgot who I was and what I wanted to do and everything. Sometimes I wish I was a stupid Christian Republican Bible Thumper...its just so easy- all you gotta go is FOLLOW everything. They dont question their lives. They just go blindly through everything. (^Im not SERIOUS, just so you know, Im just trying to make a point.) I question everything. I question ALWAYS what Im doing and if Im living to my values and everything. I worry about leading a "sell-out" or "corporate" life...I mean, I cant see myself living that way. Ever. If anything, I see myself as a bum. Which is also not a pleasant image either. I just hate how we are taught to feel like theres only one extreme or the other- with money, or without. But I feel much better. I called up another exchange student whos here in Germany, and hes feeling the same way. It made me feel good to know I wasnt alone feeling that way. Feeling lost and insecure. Feeling insecure is something new to me. I dont mean with people, but with the future and myself. I think Im just living. And experiencing normal feelings. But man, its so confusing and distressing somteimes! And Grim- you live right near where I do in the US. When Im back from my exchange trip (this upcoming July), we are chilling. (its been decided)
Well look at that, I hadn't even noticed. I love New Hope - take trips down there pretty regularly. In fact, in five years when I take my own big Journey - I was going to probably head for New Hope first. ...and yes, chilling is a must when ye return.
Yeah, I love New Hope too! Im kinda homesick! But thats okay, Ill get over it. hehe Germany is awesome too. Well, perhaps Im gonna haveta join you in the Big Journey. Like, you mean wandering and whatnot? Sounds cool. Unless of course youre into being alone. hah anywho, Cheers Dylan
That's what im gonna do too. once im eightteen im going to get a car or a van, idk it depends on how gas prices are, but its gonna have electricity and im just gonna travel around and jam and get new experiences. I never want to settle down. if i would, id feel like i went against what ive always wanted to do.
Dunno - do some work, do some travelling, do some education, have good friends, read, whatever keeps you happy. Following an ideology that doesn't seems kind of dumb. But hell - you can always just pop some prozac.
Well this is how I look at it. People live to be real old nowadays. You have that whole life to figure it out, just have fun. Don't ever compromise your own happiness to a degree in which life isn't enjoyable anymore. And troytheboy, You live right near me too, i'm from Stallis
hey...you dont have to do nothin you dont want to. you can life a fullfilling and happy life without selling out to corporations and whatnot..... P.S. where in germany are you?
Well, I'm gonna set a proper site up about it - and I have a Myspace about it at the moment(pm me for the link, I guess, if anyone wants it)...but basically I have decided the way most people life in the world today is a crock. We've become overconsumers, we live to work, and all usually in the name of collecting a ton of junk we don't need. So in about five years I'm dropping everything, laying it all down, and going on a Journey. I'm going to have enough loot saved by then(and from selling most everything) that I'll be able to survive and get to most any spot I'd like to. I don't know if it'll be by car, bike, foot, bus, or a combination....I don't know if I'll ever be back...but I do know I'm going. I've given an open invitation to anyone in the world who feels as I feel to come along with me, stay as long as they feel they need to, and leave whenever they need to. ...so that was a lot of rambling, but to be short: yes, you're most welcome to come. I've heard from a LOT of people who want to come, and they're all welcome to...though I still half-expect instead of a giant hippy caravan, it'll just be this lone gypsy and the road.
i hear yah. i feel like now is the time but... nothings happening now. but sometimes i get this flash...where i see that EVERYTHING is happening. its cool to know, but so easy to forget
hmmmmm. I wrote a lot about it, in sort of a story form. It helped me organize my thoughts and the meaning of everything, and Im feeling much better now.
